Is it Sexist to Call Someone "Hun" or "Babe"?

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The discussion centers around whether using affectionate terms like "hun" or "babe" towards someone of the opposite sex is considered sexist, particularly in professional or casual interactions. A participant recounted an experience where a contractor lost a job after using terms like "hun" and "sweetie," viewing it as unprofessional and patronizing. The conversation highlights varying perceptions of such terms, with some individuals feeling comfortable using them among friends while others find them offensive or inappropriate when used by acquaintances. Cultural differences also play a role, as some regions commonly use terms of endearment without intending offense. The dialogue touches on personal preferences regarding names and terms of endearment, emphasizing that context and familiarity are crucial in determining whether such language is acceptable or perceived as sexist. The thread also humorously explores the nuances of language and regional accents, further complicating the discussion on what constitutes appropriate or offensive language.
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Is it considered sexist to call someone of the opposite sex "hun" or "babe" even if it is said with affection? For example, I asked Moonbear to do something for me and ended by saying "thanks, hun" Now everyone knows I really like Moonbear so hun was just a sign of my affection, but I don't date Moonbear and I don't know her enough to call her "hun" was that sexist of me? I won't even write what I call evo affectionately
 
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I don't know about sexist, but it can be offensive. A guy who was supposed to do some painting for me lost the job after calling me "hun" and "sweetie" on the phone (of course he was also calling to make excuses for missing the appointment for the estimate and not returning my calls, but when he called me "sweetie", I made it very clear I was not doing business with someone who acted so unprofessionally, for all of the reasons...I've had contractors show up late or miss appointments before, and realize they sometimes get stuck on a job that takes longer than planned, and usually can reschedule, but this one lost the job altogether).
 
I understand, he wasn't cute enough right?
 
Women call me "hun" all the time. Women that I have gotten to know I sometimes call sweetie or sweetheart. For the most part they seem to appreciate being called those things. Any woman that I know or think would not be happy with being called either of those things I refrain from doing it. That's why I call Moonbear Moonie. She doesn't like generic terms of endearment like sweetie.
One of my exs hated generic terms too so I used to call her Bu Bu Kitty ****. She liked that one. :smile:
 
I'm pretty good at detecting a patronizing tone, so absent that, it has never bothered me when a woman who I was not close with used a term of endearment on me. Heck, south of the Mason-Dixon line, every woman calls you "honey", not just those that are twice your age like around here!

edit: We've had the is-Moonbear-oversensitive conversation before and I think the general consensus was that Moonbear is exactly the right level of sensitivity. :rolleyes:

Everyone has things they don't like to be called (no, I won't say what mine is) - if you call my friends Melissa and Amanda "Missy" and "Mandy", you had better duck...
 
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russ_watters said:
I'm pretty good at detecting a patronizing tone, so absent that, it has never bothered me when a woman who I was not close with used a term of endearment on me. Heck, south of the Mason-Dixon line, every woman calls you "honey", not just those that are twice your age like around here!

Hee...I've noticed that lately. I technically live South of the Mason-Dixon line now :eek: and have run into those women who call everyone "hon." It still grates on my ears when I hear it, but so does running into more folks raised or trained in the military tradition of calling every woman "maam," or pronouncing every letter in the word "vehicle." Vee-hi'-kl with the middle syllable accented instead of the first. It's just culture shock I guess. But, I realize here they aren't using it as a term of endearment, or to be patronizing, it's just something they say that comes as naturally as please and thank you. (The painter was being patronizing though...or at least unprofessional...the "sweetie" bit was just the straw that broke the camel's back with him, but I had plenty of other reasons to give the job to someone else.)

edit: We've had the is-Moonbear-oversensitive conversation before and I think the general consensus was that Moonbear is exactly the right level of sensitivity. :rolleyes:
:-p You just have to be more creative around me rather than using tired, old, generic terms of endearment. I like men with intelligence enough to remember my name. :biggrin: But, if someone takes the liberty of using a term of endearment when I don't consider them close enough to have the privilege of using it, I also don't leave them guessing...they'll know right away that it is unappreciated.
 
tribdog said:
...was that sexist of me?
Yeah...you're pretty much a pig. Get over it.
 
wait, moonbear, how you say vehicle then?? I'm well above the line and i say ve-hi-cle...?at any rate, trib, you're probably sexist just because you have a penis... er wait, i guess me saying that make me sexist eh? well then, trib you're in good company.:-p
 
Don't worry, Gale - it isn't sexist when a woman says something sexist, just when a man does. :-p
 
  • #10
Gale said:
wait, moonbear, how you say vehicle then?? I'm well above the line and i say ve-hi-cle...?
The h is silent when I say it, and the first syllable gets the accent. I've never noticed it pronounced differently anywhere else I've lived until now. I actually don't think it's a southern thing so much as a West Virginia thing...there's a definite accent I notice among the native West Virginians, but nothing that stands out as much to my northern ears as a southern accent does. Ever watch episodes of M.A.S.H.? You know how Rizzo would say veeHIckle (he's the motor pool guy)? They say it just like that. Maybe it's pronounced similarly in NH...I know accents vary quite a bit as you head up the northeast too.

russ_watters said:
Don't worry, Gale - it isn't sexist when a woman says something sexist, just when a man does.
Yeah, and don't forget that! :biggrin: :smile: (Sadly, it does seem that way too often.)
 
  • #11
Well your american you pretty much mangle our language anyway:wink:

If can get over that, I'm sure a cultural or local endeerment won't bother me. Personally I like being called babe or dear or my lover, if someone is from Devon, vivre la difference IMO. What is offensive is if you use a term that is not usually used to a casual aquaintance. Here's a few terms From My country for women to get your head round:

skirt,tail,bints,babes,chicks,honeys,girls,ladies,kitty,whores/hos,the opposite sex,the fairer sex,chicks,ladies,women,no tail,*****es, slags, sluts, minge, fanny, the list is endless.

Men: blokes, dudes, guys,mushes, men, geezers.

I think you can see the point I'm trying to makeo:)
 
  • #12
russ_watters said:
Everyone has things they don't like to be called (no, I won't say what mine is) - if you call my friends Melissa and Amanda "Missy" and "Mandy", you had better duck...
I'm sure I can think of plenty of things to call you that you wouldn't like. :wink: :biggrin: Somehow, "Rusty" pops to mind as something someone named Russ might have a problem with. :-p
 
  • #13
Schrodinger's dog

:smile: :smile: :smile: :smile:

I'm sorry. I just HAD to laught at that. Good choice.
 
  • #14
tribdog said:
...I asked Moonbear to do something for me and ended by saying "thanks, hun" ...

Trib, if you're going to insult Moonbear, go big or go home - try ma'am.
 
  • #15
Schrodinger's Dog said:
Well your american you pretty much mangle our language anyway
Guffaw! The irony is palpable!

You slay me.
 
  • #16
DaveC426913 said:
Trib, if you're going to insult Moonbear, go big or go home - try ma'am.
:smile: Ma'am isn't insulting, it just sounds funny to me. I feel old when I hear it, because only old ladies were called ma'am when I was growing up.
 
  • #17
Moonbear said:
:smile: Ma'am isn't insulting, it just sounds funny to me. I feel old when I hear it, because only old ladies were called ma'am when I was growing up.
wow, they even said it way back then?
 
  • #18
No you are not sexy.
 
  • #19
tribdog said:
wow, they even said it way back then?
:mad: :-p
 
  • #20
russ_watters said:
Don't worry, Gale - it isn't sexist when a woman says something sexist, just when a man does. :-p

well i think that depends... like if i was a butch lesbian, it'd be sexist.
 
  • #21
Is it sexist if I slap the waitress on the butt and say 'im ready to order now honey' ?
 
  • #22
cyrusabdollahi said:
Is it sexist if I slap the waitress on the butt and say 'im ready to order now honey' ?

of course not, they work on tips
 
  • #23
russ_watters said:
Heck, south of the Mason-Dixon line, every woman calls you "honey", not just those that are twice your age like around here!
Hun, you better RUN, sweetie.

:devil:
 
  • #24
What happens when a girl your age calls you sweetie anyhow. Should i punch her?
 
  • #25
There's only one thing that will save you guys from being slapped with sexual harrassment lawsuit. You'd better watch this instructional video. http://www.wimp.com/sexualharassment/
 
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  • #26
Pengwuino said:
What happens when a girl your age calls you sweetie anyhow. Should i punch her?
Yep, and then dip her pigtails in the inkwell. :rolleyes:
 
  • #27
Pengwuino said:
of course not, they work on tips

hmmm, so what keeps pissing off all my waitresses then? ...ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...TIPPPPP. Thats right...man your good with women.
 
  • #28
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/sexharassmentvideo.html

Warning- language

Warning- Hilarious!
 
  • #29
BobG said:
There's only one thing that will save you guys from being slapped with sexual harrassment lawsuit. You'd better watch this instructional video. http://www.wimp.com/sexualharassment/
My work's webfilter won't let me watch it. :frown:
It says it contains "Adult Content".:confused:
 
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  • #30
TheStatutoryApe said:
My work's webfilter won't let me watch it. :frown:
It says it contains "Adult Content".:confused:
HAH! You've GOT to watch that, it's a HOOT! :biggrin:
 
  • #31
Moonbear said:
I'm sure I can think of plenty of things to call you that you wouldn't like. :wink: :biggrin: Somehow, "Rusty" pops to mind as something someone named Russ might have a problem with. :-p
It was pretty obvious, yeah...
 
  • #32
when you quote moonbear like that it makes it look like she's calling you "rusty pops." that made me laugh... ol' rusty pops... man, you're rusty pops... want to like my... that's enough.
 
  • #33
Rusty pops? That might require a tetanus booster!
 
  • #34
I wonder if i'll ever find the perfect girl...

maybe i'll have to have some lee-way with my idea of "no free will" for my girl...
 
  • #35
The Gale-inator said:
"rusty pops." that made me laugh... ol' rusty pops... man, you're rusty pops... want to like my... that's enough.
Wanna lick my rusty pops?
 
  • #36
I had a rusty poop.
 
  • #37
Schrodinger's Dog said:
Well your american you pretty much mangle our language anyway:wink:

DaveC426913 said:
Guffaw! The irony is palpable!
You slay me.
Well I can't spell. I am dyslexic and I rarely use the spell checker on short posts, my original point still stands though:-p
 
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  • #38
Gale said:
when you quote moonbear like that it makes it look like she's calling you "rusty pops." that made me laugh... ol' rusty pops... man, you're rusty pops... want to like my... that's enough.
:smile: When he's old and his joints don't work like they used to, we'll call him rusty pops (unfortunately, by then I'll be just as slow, so I'm not sure I'll be able to run away quickly enough after calling him that to avoid retribution). :biggrin:
 
  • #39
Moonbear said:
:smile: When he's old and his joints don't work like they used to, we'll call him rusty pops (unfortunately, by then I'll be just as slow, so I'm not sure I'll be able to run away quickly enough after calling him that to avoid retribution). :biggrin:
That's why you suggest the nickname to his kids.:wink:
 
  • #40
TheStatutoryApe said:
That's why you suggest the nickname to his kids.:wink:
Probably better to wait to suggest it to his grandkids...grandkids can always get away with things that kids can't. :biggrin:
 

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