Americans are all raccoons!

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  • #1
Rach3

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They eat anything! Why, o why does this place have such awful taste, I can't even go out for lunch, it's all crisco-fried this, and 3,500g portons of that, or bird entrails served in rolled-up newspaper, or reprocessed garbage (served to 'over 99 billion'). And even if you should find a vegetable somewhere, chances are it's some shrivelled-up mess found sprouting in a gutter somewhere, then stored in a freezer for three years.

It makes it extremely difficult to travel domestically here; eating out is a perilous, exciting adventure. There goes $3 on what was falsely labeled a "fruit smoothie"; it's not fruit, it's 58g of sugar in the form of high-fructose corn syrup. :yuck: Disgusting! And then the $6 that went for a "breakfast"; e.g., "crepes", fried in some revolting concotion of vegetable oil, still glistening on the surface. (The single-person order being big enough to feed a family of six, I add.) Or the atrocities that pass for the "complemantary" breakfast at this hotel ("complement"ary, my foot!). My stomache is churning as I write this rant...

I'm going to great lengths to avoid anything remotely American in cusine, and I'm still tripping up. Even the most innocent-sounding things ("fruit smoothies") are toxin-laden emetics. Even most ethnic restaurants re-arranged their recipies to cater to the sodium-craving, grease-coated palate (such as the tasteless, triple-salted "miso", in 750ml serving size.) I'd like to admit defeat and eat nothing but fresh produce - but I can't find that! No one eats fresh fruit in America; the best you can do is the rare, undersized, overripe, tasteless apple. I bet most Americans don't even know what a real apple tastes like.

Thank God for the first-generation immigrants and their tiny, unprofitable ethnic diners.
 
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  • #2
Ivan Seeking
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They eat anything! Why, o why does this place have such awful taste, I can't even go out for lunch, it's all crisco-fried this, and 3,500g portons of that, or bird entrails served in rolled-up newspaper, or reprocessed garbage (served to 'over 99 billion'). And even if you should find a vegetable somewhere, chances are it's some shrivelled-up mess found sprouting in a gutter somewhere, then stored in a freezer for three years.

It makes it extremely difficult to travel domestically here; eating out is a perilous, exciting adventure. There goes $3 on what was falsely labeled a "fruit smoothie"; it's not fruit, it's 58g of sugar in the form of high-fructose corn syrup. :yuck: Disgusting! And then the $6 that went for a "breakfast"; e.g., "crepes", fried in some revolting concotion of vegetable oil, still glistening on the surface. (The single-person order being big enough to feed a family of six, I add.) Or the atrocities that pass for the "complemantary" breakfast at this hotel ("complement"ary, my foot!). My stomache is churning as I write this rant...

I'm going to great lengths to avoid anything remotely American in cusine, and I'm still tripping up. Even the most innocent-sounding things ("fruit smoothies") are toxin-laden emetics. Even most ethnic restaurants re-arranged their recipies to cater to the sodium-craving, grease-coated palate (such as the tasteless, triple-salted "miso", in 750ml serving size.) I'd like to admit defeat and eat nothing but fresh produce - but I can't find that! No one eats fresh fruit in America; the best you can do is the rare, undersized, overripe, tasteless apple. I bet most Americans don't even know what a real apple tastes like.

Thank God for the first-generation immigrants and their tiny, unprofitable ethnic diners.
You are likely never more than a mile or two from a grocery store. There you will fiind amazing volumes of anything that you could want. But if you go to crap restaurants for food, that's what you'll get.
 
  • #3
Rach3
You are likely never more than a mile or two from a grocery store. There you will fiind amazing volumes of anything that you could want. But if you go to crap restaurants for food, that's what you'll get.
You mean these "convenience" stores? Why would I go there, there's fresher vegetable matter in the alley dumpsters.
 
  • #4
Hurkyl
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You mean these "convenience" stores? Why would I go there, there's fresher vegetable matter in the alley dumpsters.
Fine. You're probably within a mile or two of an alley dumpster too. :tongue:
 
  • #5
Ivan Seeking
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You mean these "convenience" stores? Why would I go there, there's fresher vegetable matter in the alley dumpsters.
Do you know what a supermarket is?
 
  • #6
Rach3
My point is not that I'm incapable of finding edible food in this city (I'm alive, aren't I?); it's that this anti-cuisine of grease permeates the culture so thoroughly, that it takes significant effort to avoid it. I mean come on, since when do fruit drinks contain 58g of high-fructose corn syrup? (Please don't answer that.)
 
  • #7
Rach3
Do you know what a supermarket is?
Yes. They keep me alive, when I am in a position to cook for myself. You know, access to a stove, all that.

I'm travelling at the moment, and I'm suddenly discovering the amazing world of American.
 
  • #8
Ivan Seeking
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Well, I hardly ever eat any of it. This is true for many people. If you know an area you can usually find places that serve good food, but around hotels and such they cater to the fast food and business crowd.
 
  • #9
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I have no idea what city your in where you can't find a good meal. I've never had that problem, and I've been in every state. I almost always ask people who live local, where the best place to eat is. The tips have me off the beaten path, to some wonderful places.
 
  • #10
Rach3
I have no idea what city your in where you can't find a good meal. I've never had that problem, and I've been in every state. I almost always ask people who live local, where the best place to eat is. The tips have me off the beaten path, to some wonderful places.
I can; it's just taken too much trial-and-error.

Just let me enjoy my bitter ranting, please? :biggrin:
 
  • #11
MedullaPancreas
Dumpster fruit smoothies are good for you.
 
  • #12
Ivan Seeking
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Just let me enjoy my bitter ranting, please?
Fair enough. Besides, my milkshake and nachos are ready.
 
  • #13
Rach3
Back to my whining; why on earth does anyone eat this stuff? Are people going crazy? Am I going crazy?
 
  • #14
Rach3
...fruit smoothies are good for you.
Funny statement coming from a username containing "Pancreas". :rolleyes:
 
  • #15
Lol, you could always run down to the supermarket, buy some wraps, tomatoes, lettuce, some nice cheese. mmmm, no stove necessary, and I am getting hungry just thinking about it.
 
  • #16
Rach3
Fair enough. Besides, my milkshake and nachos are ready.
Perhaps you have enemies so bitter they seek to poison you. No matter; you're outdoing them.
 
  • #17
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I can; it's just taken too much trial-and-error.

Just let me enjoy my bitter ranting, please? :biggrin:

lol enjoy!:rofl:
 
  • #18
Hurkyl
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Back to my whining; why on earth does anyone eat this stuff? Are people going crazy? Am I going crazy?
Cheeseburger > all. (except maybe bacon cheeseburger) And pizza has all of the necessary food groups. I don't see why anyone would eat anything else!
 
  • #19
turbo
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You mean these "convenience" stores? Why would I go there, there's fresher vegetable matter in the alley dumpsters.
No, real stores that real people buy their food from. It is possible to eat healthy and satisfying food almost anywhere in the US, but not if you settle for the "lowest common denominator". That is a recipe for crap.
 
  • #20
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I understand what you mean Rach, even over here, everything is caked in sugar and grease. Even when you go to the supermarket and actually look at labels you will find that the things you thought were healthy actually contain way too much sugar. For instence fruit juice that says "no sugar added" just means that if the fruit was imported no sugar was added when it arrived here and was packaged
 
  • #21
Moonbear
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You can get a meal in a grocery store that doesn't require cooking when traveling. When I'm traveling a lot or for an extended period of time, I do that because there are only so many days one can stand eating in restaurants before their digestive system rebels. Go to the bakery section, and get some fresh bread or rolls. Head to the salad bar and make yourself a salad (you can also use the salad bar to get yourself a single-serving of lettuce and tomato, pre-cut, to go on your sandwich). Go to the deli and get some sliced cheese (or pick up something from the cheese section that's more interesting than deli cheese). While at the deli, look for something like roast beef or roast turkey, which are the least processed deli meats, and get some of that to add to your sandwich. Grab an avocado to add some interest to your salad (or slice it onto your sandwich, or just enjoy it plain for another meal), and get a small jar of mustard to spread some on your sandwich (mustard keeps without refrigeration, so good if you need to store it at the hotel without a refrigerator for future sandwiches). Pick up some fruit from the produce section...this is good "on-the-go" for snacking.

Or, you can just find a good deli in the area and let them make your sandwich. Most delis make huge sandwiches, so you can eat half and wrap up the other half for a second meal later.

Oh, and don't forget to grab a box of plastic knives, forks and spoons so you have utensils to eat with. Water comes out of the tap at the hotel :wink:, so no need to resort to things like fruit smoothies. :yuck:
 
  • #22
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I agree with Rach3! Every apple(/fruit/vegetable) is a 'clone' of the other. They're nothing but good looking. If you ever visit another country not in North America or Europe for sightseeing or whatever, don't forget to eat fruits there. Countries in Asia and esp. the subcontinent have amazingly different fruits/vegetables. It's worth the try!
 
  • #23
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And if you head to the deep south, try eating raccoon. If its cooked right, it dosent taste American at all.
 
  • #24
Math Is Hard
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And if you head to the deep south, try eating raccoon. If its cooked right, it dosent taste American at all.
you're making me homesick. :cry:
 
  • #25
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You should see the thing they eat on the "American" TV show Fear Factor .
Makes me want to hug my mom ...
 

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