Approaching a Gorgeous Intelligent Girl in High School

[zoobyshoe]

I plan on progressing things just a little bit over the week, and hopefully by Friday I'll be at the stage where I can give her a small valentine's day gift and she'd expect it, more or less :P

I wouldn't give her a Valentine's Day gift. A gesture like that doesn't work the way you think it is supposed to, and is counter-productive on many levels. It's very likely to turn you into a supplicant in her mind. She may enjoy that for the ego boost, and to milk you for more gifts, or, she may get the queasy feeling you feel she's too good for you which will drive her away. Either way you have lost the appeal of being a challenge, and her interest will dwindle. There is really only a small subset of women who are romantic in the way women are alleged to be romantic. The rest view gifts like this as guys sucking up to them in the hope of getting affection or sex.

If you hear a woman say she wishes men gave more flowers and made romantic gestures you can be sure she's complaining about someone she's been involved with who has a long, unmitigated history of thoughtlessness and selfishness. Women pretty much only want a gesture like that from a guy who wouldn't make a gesture like that.

I wouldn't give her a Valentine's gift unless you're absolutely certain she's already secretly harboring a serious case of the hots for you. Those are the only circumstances under which it will have the desired effect. Otherwise it will be an invitation for her to exploit you, or a cause for her to withdraw from you.

Down at the cafe where I hang out I am currently watching a little drama of a very hot girl being pursued by a "nice" guy who plies her with presents. In fact, he once interrupted a conversation I was having with her to give her a box of relatively expensive chocolates. She received them graciously, and with apparent gratitude, and after she'd ate a couple she offered me some, right in front of him. I'm not sure he was happy about that. "He's a very sweet guy", she said after he'd left, "Very, very sweet guy."

"Has he asked you out?"

"He's asks me out all the time."

"You're not interested?"

"Nope, not really."

This guy has telegraphed loud and clear that he thinks she's out of his league, and his presents just come off as 'tributes to a superior being'. That's not attractive.

 

[Pyrrhus]

This thread is full of great advice by Zooby, Dave, Georgia, Moonbearand Russ. You can actually breathe the experience of dealing with rejection :shy: and you can almost see the passing memories of regretted events . That's how Life is. Life is about risks, so stop being so damn risk averse, and be confident . Don't wait for the kiss, go for it. Don't wait to ask her out, ask her out, and so on. And most importantly, RESPECT yourself!, and have STANDARDS. No Mr. Doormat, be NICE and recognize when it's NOT worth your time (i.e. 2-3 years pursuing the same girl?).

 

[theJorge551]

lol, thanks to everyone who still pays enough care to mind this next post, and I'm sorry for such waits between updates!

I didn't see zoobyshoe's message until after i had already done the deed, but i did work up a small relationship and gave her a red rose on friday morning, swooning her just a bit and showing her outright that i am highly interested...i'd been hinting at it before and now there really isn't a doubt in my mind that she knows. She welcomed it with open arms, and i can honestly say that I've never seen a girl smile so much

We've been talking a lot soon after, and i have a date-esque thing going on next Saturday. Thanks everyone for all of your great advice, i'll try to keep updating regularly