We've seen about three slightly different definitions of "frames of reference" in this thread - sprays, time-like congruences, and tetrads. I was finally able to track down the full text of one paper on the topic, which also mentioned three different approaches to defining "frames of reference". It had some discussion of the other literature (not that I had the time or the access to read any of the refrenced papers, alas).
Manoff, "Frames of reference in spaces with an affine connections and metrics"
There are at least (emphasis mine) three types of methods for defining a FR. They are based
on three different basic assumptions:
(a) Co-ordinate's methods. A frame of reference is identified with a local
(or global) chart (co-ordinates) in the differentiable manifold M
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(b) Tetrad's methods. A frame of reference is identified with a set of basic contravariant vector fields [n linear independent vectors (called n-Beins,n-beams) f at every given point x of the manifold
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(c) Monad's methods. A frame of reference is identified with a non-null (non-isotropic) (time-like) contravariant vector field interpreted as the velocity of an observer (material point).
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I think we've seen pretty much the same three mentioned in this thread, though I'm not sure how many others besides myself have alluded to the first method, i.e. the notion that a frame of reference should "tell you where you are", a function that is arguably a property of coordinates.
The majority of these three definitions are phrased in terms of manifolds, with frequent mentions of the tangent spaces to said manifolds as well. So I continue to believe that a logical approach to teaching general relativity is to introduce manifolds and their tangent spaces. I also believe that this is the approach most textbooks take, though I'm open to counterexamples.
There is general agreement on the precise definition of just what a manifold is, which is a huge plus. It's not strictly necessary to actually give the precise definition of a manifold straight away, but it is necessary to have a common understanding, and being able to point to a precise defintion is very helpful when quesitons arise. After introducing manifolds, then, at a later date, one can introduce one or more of the multiple existing concepts of "frames of reference" and optionally argue about "which one is the best".
Attempting to build on top of an existing concept of a "frame of reference" doesn't seem to me to be advisable considering the lack of agreement over just what a frame of reference is in the literature. Furthermore, I suspect the lack of agreement among people who haven't studied the literature on frames of references is even broader than the amount of disagreement in the literature.
As far as eliminating frames of reference goes , I feel I should mention one of the precedents for this in the literature.
Misner, "Precis of General Relativity"
A method for making sure that the relativity effects are specified correctly
(according to Einstein’s General Relativity) can be described rather briefly.
It agrees with Ashby’s approach but omits all discussion of how, historically or logically, this viewpoint was developed. It also omits all the detailed calculations. It is merely a statement of principles.
One first banishes the idea of an “observer”. This idea aided Einsteinin building special relativity but it is confusing and ambiguous in general relativity. Instead one divides the theoretical landscape into two categories.
One category is the mathematical/conceptual model of whatever is happening that merits our attention. The other category is measuring instruments and the data tables they provide. For GPS the measuring instruments can be taken to be either ideal SI atomic clocks in trajectories determined by known forces, or else electromagnetic signals describing the state of the clock that radiate [from the clocks].
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The conceptual model for a relativistic system is a spacetime map or diagram plus some rules for its interpretation.
My interpretation of Misner's "conceptual model" is that one has a set of coordinate labels that assign labels to space-time events, plus a mathematical structure that allows one to calculate the invariant lorentz interval between (nearby) events, though the associated text is a bit too long to quote in full.
My interpretation of Misner's motivation for writing the paper was the amount of argument generated by Neil Ashby's paper that talked about "the need to use the ECI frame of reference" when talking about GPS, which caused some debate and confusion.
I also feel that frames of reference are still very useful, in any of the various forms we've seen in this thread and/or in the literature. I think that the logical place to introduce one (or more, but I can't see burdening a new student with the details of more than one) is after one has done as much as one can without them - which as Misner points out is really quite a bit.