Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Math Is Hard]

Papa Bear thought tresspassing was too harsh, Mama Bear thought it was too soft...
Why do they call it tresspassing when the problem isn't passing it's tressstaying?

I believe the real problem is finding the defining moment between passing and staying. It only takes an instant to pass, but it takes slightly more than an instant to stay. Tresstayantial calulus is a branch of mathematics devoted entirely to this problem. However, few people study Tresstayantial calulus (T.C.) anymore because so many of it's proofs can only be accurately demonstrated with the use of a three-dimensional abacus, and by hopping up and down on one leg shouting "a-hoy! hoy! hoy! hoy!" Few advanced students ever committed to the rigors of the proofs of the subject and failed to give deliver convincing dissertations, falling victim to a similar kind of stifling shame one feels when ordering the rooty-tooty-fresh-and-fruity breakfast at IHOP.

So many people are working on a Theory of Everything these days. How come someone isn't working on a Theory of Nothing?

 

[The Bob]

So many people are working on a Theory of Everything these days. How come someone isn't working on a Theory of Nothing?

Because nothing is boring. We all want something.

The Bob (2004 ©)
























And I do have a question: What is the reason that people like cheese?

 

[tribdog]

Because it has just as many vowels as consonants.


Is there a way to tell which way electrical current is flowing by taste?

 

[The Bob]

Is there a way to tell which way electrical current is flowing by taste?

The direction you rotate when the current passes through our tongue.

What is the reason for fuses, I mean really?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[tribdog]

What is the reason for fuses, I mean really?

The Bob (2004 ©)

If there was no such thing as fuses your wiring would be made out of one solid reliable piece of wire, and you would never have the joy of being stranded in the middle of the desert at 3AM trying to use a Wrigley's Gum wrapper to bridge the gap to start your motor.

Is the popularity of Everybody Loves Raymond a manifestation of a quantum mechanical paradox?

 

[neil_m]

Is the popularity of Everybody Loves Raymond a manifestation of a quantum mechanical paradox?

No since that is just an arbitrary name given the show, and its popularity is independant of its name. Realistically, some people out there do infact love the show, so that just means: NOT everybody loves "everybody loves raymond"


If i produced a device which negated the effect of the Earth's gravity on a particular object, it would initially remain stationary relative to the Earth and us, as it would possesses the velocity of the Earth at the moment the device was activated, but since the Earth is spinning on its axis and following a circular orbit around the sun, wouldn't the object (relative to us) start 'flying away' ??
(assuming air resistance is negligible...but if it wasnt negligible and the Earth was moving in a straight line, without spinning, wouldn't the object appear to accelerate as it experienced the resistive forces of the atmosphere? (since it is no longer anchored by gravity?)
...you know i thought this was trying to do a dumb question, but i think i got too into it...
anyway just incase here's a dumb(er) question: would an object approaching the speed of light, as its mass appoached infinty, produce a gravitational field in proportion to its increasing mass??

 

[Ba]

You are a prisoner in your mind, it is making you think gravity exists. Humans just made it up because we want to climb out of the pit the Earth actually is.

Why can math teachers never use new technology?

 

[tribdog]

It's against union rules.


Do you pronounce the word "pronounce" Pronounce or pronounce?

 

[jimmy p]

It's against union rules.


Do you pronounce the word "pronounce" Pronounce or pronounce?

PRonouncE.

Do Eskimo's ever get naked?

 

[motai]

PRonouncE.

Do Eskimo's ever get naked?

Hmm... probably during mating season. They got to share some body warmth through kinetic energy transfer . Sometimes Igloos just aren't enough.

Is it acceptable in Spanish to combine words such as autobus (bus) or buscar (to find) into one word such as autobuscar (to find/search a bus)? Te autobuscas?

 

[neil_m]

[I was doing this all wrong! let me try again...]

Only in the secret organisations, where they link certain words to produce new words, which give the instructions to carry out their next task.
for exaple, your examlpe, gives the command, to go find a bus. (but the real question is...for WHAT?...)

Why do men have nipples?

 

[tribdog]

They are a defense mechanism, fooling an attacking avian into thinking it is attacking something bigger. One of the few direct links to our 83rd closest relative the Luna Moth.

I was going for my foursies when a small dog stole my ball. Do I have to start all over with my onsies or can I just kill the dog?

 

[neil_m]

Hmmm you said it was a small dog, just take it back. Hurting it solves nothing, though do make aggressive gestures and sounds to make sure he never does it again. If the small dog in question was a genetically enhanced fox terrier, just start with the onsies again and forget about my secret project...i mean "WATCHOUT! A BIRD! QUICK SHOW THEM YOUR NIPPLES!" (if you are a guy ofcourse)


who or what is our 97th closest relative?

 

[jimmy p]

Hmmm you said it was a small dog, just take it back. Hurting it solves nothing, though do make aggressive gestures and sounds to make sure he never does it again. If the small dog in question was a genetically enhanced fox terrier, just start with the onsies again and forget about my secret project...i mean "WATCHOUT! A BIRD! QUICK SHOW THEM YOUR NIPPLES!" (if you are a guy ofcourse)


who or what is our 97th closest relative?

A plastic bag.

What is "light" beer?

 

[plover]

What is "light" beer?

Bosonic beer – it doesn't obey the St. Pauli Girl Exclusion Principle.

Why are hyenas bad at poker?

 

[jimmy p]

Why are hyenas bad at poker?

Because they play with cheetahs... boom boom!


What's the deal with yodelling?

 

[Ba]

So you can hear the mountains screaming back at you because they don't like your voice.

Why do we always look to tomorrow but never get there?

 

[jimmy p]

Why do we always look to tomorrow but never get there?

Because there is no point in looking backwards to yesterday.

How can elephants hide in a refridgerator?

 

[matthyaouw]

Not very well. the footprints in the butter always seem to give them away.

Would taping a cat to a slice of buttered toast be an effective solution to the worlds energy problems, or would there be problems? (working on the pinciple that a cat always lands on its feet, buttered toast always lands buttered side down, so the two together would result in a perpetual spinning motion as the two fight it out)

 

[tribdog]

Doesn't work, cat dies everytime I put the bread in the toaster.

Does hitting "alt+f4" speed up your loading time on this page?

 

[selfAdjoint]

Doesn't work, cat dies everytime I put the bread in the toaster.

Does hitting "alt+f4" speed up your loading time on this page?

Haven't tried it. It's so hard to hit that + while holding down Alt and F4.

In what system of math would Alt+F4 be a valid string?

 

[madcat11]

Haven't tried it. It's so hard to hit that + while holding down Alt and F4.

In what system of math would Alt+F4 be a valid string?

New Age computer science/religion (hex, of course).

If you're in your car and you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights, is it because the sun went down, or because it started to rain?

 

[jimmy p]

If you're in your car and you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights, is it because the sun went down, or because it started to rain?

Neither, it just gets real foggy.

If all the planets had a royal rumble, which one would win?

 

[tribdog]

Jupiter would kick Uranus

What exactly is Jupiter looking at?

 

[Ba]

Looking for aliens, we haven't found any yet.

Who first thought up the word extra-terrestial?

 

[tribdog]

you. I've never seen that word before.

How do you get a new word in Webster's?

 

[jimmy p]

How do you get a new word in Webster's?

Scrawl it on every wall in the city or pencil it into Webster's yourself.

The word "word" looks of Scandinavian decent. Do you think it pillaged towns with the Vikings?

 

[jimmy p]

jeez think about it. It's not hard. Or is it?

 

[amwbonfire]

The answer is yes.

Could you ask a woodchuck "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" and get an answer?

 

[Smurf]

Scrawl it on every wall in the city or pencil it into Webster's yourself.

The word "word" looks of Scandinavian decent. Do you think it pillaged towns with the Vikings?

It was kinda like this:
a horde of vikings decends upon a christian monastary, hacking and slashing at the innocent monks, cutting them down, setting fire to buildings and looting everything of value they could find.
"Arg, we got them good this time" say's Garth.
"Sure did" responded Fhilfi
"Next time we should try to loot the buildings before burning them though"
"Word"
and with that they rode off into the sunset, looking for another village to pillage.

 

[Smurf]

The answer is yes.

Could you ask a woodchuck "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" and get an answer?

of course not silly, you can't do that any more than you can tell a rhino to stamp out a fire without him eating an orange first.
..
..or would that work?

 

[Moonbear]

Could you ask a woodchuck "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" and get an answer?

Of course, but not the answer you're expecting. You'd get quite a chewing out about how speciesist woodchuck is, and that the term groundhog is far more PC nowadays, mainly because of all the slurs their species has suffered from that woodchuck rhyme.

Why does plastic wrap always manage to stick to itself before you can get it transferred from the box and onto the bowl you're trying to cover?

 

[franznietzsche]

of course not silly, you can't do that any more than you can tell a rhino to stamp out a fire without him eating an orange first.
..
..or would that work?

Only if you bait him with a lemon.


Can rhinos even eat citrus though? Or is this only applicable in the general case of culinary sophisticate rhinos?

 

[The Bob]

Can rhinos even eat citrus though? Or is this only applicable in the general case of culinary sophisticate rhinos?

Right, my turn again.

Citrus is an Acid. It was proven, many many years ago, that and acid would burn the outside of a Rhino but not more than the hard outside casing. That is how the end part of its name came. The 'Rus' at the end is shorted from Rust, as that is what acid does to it. Strange but true.

Why are you talking about Rhinos? Should it be Rhini?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[franznietzsche]

Right, my turn again.

Citrus is an Acid. It was proven, many many years ago, that and acid would burn the outside of a Rhino but not more than the hard outside casing. That is how the end part of its name came. The 'Rus' at the end is shorted from Rust, as that is what acid does to it. Strange but true.

Why are you talking about Rhinos? Should it be Rhini?

The Bob (2004 ©)

Rhini sounds like something a griley-man would say. Rhinos is much more governatorial.

Why do neither Dr Pepper nor Mr Pibb have periods in their abbreviations?

 

[honestrosewater]

Rhini sounds like something a griley-man would say. Rhinos is much more governatorial.

Why do neither Dr Pepper nor Mr Pibb have periods in their abbreviations?

They're both men and men don't get periods.

Say, why don't men get periods?

 

[franznietzsche]

They're both men and men don't get periods.

Say, why don't men get periods?

Its a conspiracy to make us stronger than women by not dealing with debilitating cramps every month. This is what gave us our historical edge over women and enabled us to dominate the world for so long.

Why would we need such an advantage when we could win naturally?

 

[honestrosewater]

Why would we need such an advantage when we could win naturally?

Ask your girlfriend

What weapons have we developed to kill those worms that are making holes in space?

 

[Moonbear]

What weapons have we developed to kill those worms that are making holes in space?

A worm remover, of course!

Since my last question got ignored (I wasn't quick enough to post and someone beat me to a new question), I'll repost it.

Why does plastic wrap always manage to stick to itself before you can get it transferred from the box and onto the bowl you're trying to cover?

 

[Physics_wiz]

A worm remover, of course!

Since my last question got ignored (I wasn't quick enough to post and someone beat me to a new question), I'll repost it.

Why does plastic wrap always manage to stick to itself before you can get it transferred from the box and onto the bowl you're trying to cover?

Because it's sticky and you're not careful enough with it!

Why would anyone start a thread like this?

 

[honestrosewater]

Why would anyone start a thread like this?

Since the universe is deterministic, the laws of physics required it.

Oops, another theory has just been brought to my attention. Okay, inside your brain, there are smart thoughts and stupid thoughts. The smart thoughts are located in the left hemisphere and the stupid thoughts are located in the right hemisphere. The people in this forum were having more smart thoughts than stupid thoughts, causing an imbalance in the their brains which made them fall over. So they created this thread to promote stupid thoughts, restoring the balance, allowing them to remain upright.

What is the corporate ladder leaning against?

 

[Moonbear]

What is the corporate ladder leaning against?

The glass ceiling. (Hey, they're business majors, they don't know it doesn't make sense.)

Why did I just forget the quetion I was going to ask?

 

[Physics_wiz]

The glass ceiling. (Hey, they're business majors, they don't know it doesn't make sense.)

Why did I just forget the quetion I was going to ask?

bad sectors in your brain hard drive.

Why did I sit on my computer for 12 hours straight today?

 

[honestrosewater]

bad sectors in your brain hard drive.

Why did I sit on my computer for 12 hours straight today?

Because you couldn't sit on it for 12 hours straight tomorrow.

How did Superman reverse time by spinning the Earth in the opposite direction?

 

[Reshma]

If ignorance is bliss, why do we seek knowledge?

 

[The Bob]

If ignorance is bliss, why do we seek knowledge?

Someone doesn't get the idea of answer the person's before them.

How did Superman reverse time by spinning the Earth in the opposite direction?

I will have to combine the two to make them met.

We seek knowledge so that we may know how superman was able to reverse time. I believe he did it by accident (being ignorant at the time I believe) and I think he is getting it copyrighted so we can't steal it. Not fair.

Who is the greatest PFer?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[honestrosewater]

Who is the greatest PFer?

The Bob (2004 ©)

The first person to answer your question.

If there is no sadness in heaven, why it is said that rain is G/god crying?

 

[bjr_jyd15]

God is crying because we did something stupid. Now we'll feel bad if we made God cry. Now we feel guilty.

If I weigh 60 kg on Earth, how much do I weigh on the moon?

 

[Gokul43201]

God is crying because we did something stupid. Now we'll feel bad if we made God cry. Now we feel guilty.

If I weigh 60 kg on Earth, how much do I weigh on the moon?

You can weigh as much as you like. The last time I was on moon (the security checks are a joke...they didn't even bother checking the lead soles of my lunar boots), I weighed about 100 grams of crack for them loonies that want to get high without jumping.

Have you any idea what kind of money I make selling dope to the lunar settlers ?

 

[BoulderHead]

Have you any idea what kind of money I make selling dope to the lunar settlers ?

Unsure am I of a precise amount but am betting it's astronomical !




Could the moon be used for topsoil?