Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[EnumaElish]

Since Fall has Sprung, cheaply too, is it seasonally to late to wear on sale whites under your winter clothing?

No more inappropriate than a pair of white, retro high-heel boots under a shiny pink suit. It's..., it's..., Ballroom blitz! The British will understand. And we understand them. Actually, that's a lie. (White, though.) It's for the sake of our special transatlantic relationship, Andy and Mike. Alright, fellas.

Is it okay to have felt like coming up with a stupid question but not being able to in a satisfying manner?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Say Cheeeeeeeeseeeeeeeee

Is it okay to have felt like coming up with a stupid question but not being able to in a satisfying manner?

Just see my last effort at Buffalo'ing a Bluff, Laaaaaaaaaaaamo!

If a Buffalo goes over a Bluff, is it a 'Bluffed Buffalo' or a 'Buffaloed' Bluff?


LD
.. .. .. hops in .. .. (A Bluff-Hello?) .. .. .. .. Hops out .. .. .. [/color]

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is it okay to have felt like coming up with a stupid question but not being able to in a satisfying manner?

After several days of therapy, hypnosis, drugs, and reading Zen In The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenence I can finally begin to forget you ever asked that quetion.

Recently when I was perusing D.Y. Spulquist's great masterpiece on the subject Psychotic and Personality Disorders Among Tiny Little Black Ants I came across the following:

"...and they will circle erratically, eccentrically, as though intoxicated, or dizzy, shouting all the while: `My Bible has a golden thread bookmark! My Bible has a golden thread bookmark!'..."

which was interesting because I'd seen a crazy woman in a bumper sticker covered van driving around the block shouting the same thing just last week. The third time she passed me she threw a half eaten donut out her window and shrieked: "It's spelled: `Doughnuts,' idiot!" as an adjunct to her bookmark crusade, I suppose. She sideswiped several trees as she swerved back and forth up onto the sidewalk and into the street again, and by her fifth time around a police helicopter showed up and began tailing her.

None of the myriad tiny black ants who now swarmed the donut she'd tossed onto the street in their path cared about any of that as they hungrily attacked the sweet confection, unaware of the terrible toxins in it or of the fact that in several minutes they would all be circling eccentrically, as though dizzy, shouting "My Bible has a gold thread bookmark!"

Who do you suppose poisoned the `doughnuts'?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Ant-i-rant

Who do you suppose poisoned the `doughnuts'?

Obviously it was the great and renonwed D.Y. Spulquist himself, who had injected them thusly as to try to re-create his heyday of experimental successes and the Adoration of the loving crowds of Ant-o-philes that had followed him everywhere asking him to sign autographs and pursue theoretical notions that they had arrived at after having re-read his tumulteous work, Black ants of the Streets of New York on the prowl
in the Cities underbelly of Sewer Systems side walks

Speaking of which, anyone know where one can purchase that good Tome Self Immolation for Dummies?

(my last copy burned itself up, and I need to replace it.)

 

[zoobyshoe]

You ask it, because you can!
OMG I now have Adam Ant songs pounding in my head! {don't drink, don't smoke, whatdoyado?} How can I make it stop?

You must read D.Y. Spulquist's masterpiece on the subject: On the Eradication Of Tenacious Mental Replay Of Ant-Related Songs, Opera Arias, And Folk Melodies, By The Use Of Chain Letter Spells And Magic. What you will have to do is start a chain letter in which each person must either send a dollar to you, or a picture of a primitive looking skull. Each person must be harshly warned NOT TO BREAK THE CHAIN or they will suffer terribly bad luck. (Which is what's going to happen to cefarix, anyway, for not figuring out the format of this thread.)

In the meantime, I would like to reccomend D.Y. Spluquist's pivotal study of the matter: Ideas From Topology and Game Theory Fused To Explain The Dissapearance Of The Neander-Ant in which Spulquist tries to figure out what happened to a pet tiny black ant he once had whom he named "Neander-Ant" because of its more robust, albeit smaller, endo-skeleton.

Apparently "Neander-Ant" disappeared from his personal ant farm one day, and Spulquist was never able to recover any remains despite having carefully brushed and troweled away each successive layer of the sand in the farm until he reached bottom.

What do you suppose ever happened to "Neander-Ant"?

 

[hypatia]

He should of known Neander-Ant could run very fast, and at the very least, should of covered his house in copious amouts of 2 sided sticky tape. My own personal thoughts...he ran off to find the highly desirable Red Fire Aunties. They have cross bred and spend there evenings singing WE ARE FAM-UH-LEE, while tending the Red Neander eggs.

Don't open that box! Whats in the box?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Don't open that box! Whats in the box?

A song, once sung, the whole world will start singing it, such that, nothing else will get done, and we will all starve to death, thereafter.

What is the title of 'that song' un-sung?

 

[hypatia]

I can't tell you, its my ..Doomsday song in a box world domination plot! I half to wait until I get a sign from a higher power.
I wonder what the sign will be?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Look! up in the sky, it's a sign

I wonder what the sign will be?

Available @ Walmart

When singing the song of Ultimate Galactic-Universal destruction, should we first ask for the Key?

 

[hypatia]

No need, the restrooms are always open to the public...Fresh, clean and friendly will be the motto for the new universe!
Now I wonder what we should use the old universe for?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

I need not-knot.

Now I wonder what we should use the old universe for?

We will use them to achieve the desired state of No need, thereafter restrooms are always open to the public...Fresh, clean and friendly, with LOTS OF TP as that is the recycle plan for the Old universe, then it willl be the motto for the new universe!

Now that we no longer need T. P. what will we read while we await our Earned & Desired Divine Staus of "No" Need?

 

[hypatia]

We, of course, will still read the back of the shampoo bottles..and wonder if Psidium Guajava fruit is really good for our hair?

 

[EnumaElish]

We, of course, will still read the back of the shampoo bottles..and wonder if Psidium Guajava fruit is really good for our hair?

May we have a quesion? Is your qustion "is Psidium Guajava fruit is really good for our hair?" ? If so I'd like to answer it in the proper fasion.

What is the proper response to a turkey's sneeze?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What is the proper response to a turkey's sneeze?

A chicken's Gesundheit.

Speeding, chicken-like, across the road to post the next quetion, will I make it, or be squished by someone posting just a second ahead of me?

 

[EnumaElish]

You made it! In worse news, you have just squished the alternative quetion. (Look under your shoe, zooby!)

Why is quetion spelled as queion in this thread?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why is quetion spelled as queion in this thread?

It isn't. I believe you must be dysqexic.


As I race, chicken-like, across the road in my haste to post the next quetion, will I have time to do that and also knock three times on the pate of a slow witted pedestrian who is staring at me breathing through his mouth?

 

[hypatia]

You knocked on his liver? No wonder the poor guys panting like a dog, spreading his bird flu everywhere! I think we'd all be safter going to the ends of the earth. Which end has less birds?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Which end has less birds?

The end of the Earth with the fewest birds will always be that end where nest rental rates are the highest.

As I race, chicken-like, across the road, to post the next quetion before anyone else gets to it, will I also have time to stop and rescue all the salamanders who misread the Salami Crossing sign?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

As I race, chicken-like, across the road, to post the next quetion before anyone else gets to it, will I also have time to stop and rescue all the salamanders who misread the Salami Crossing sign?

Certainly Hope so as I hear that they Taste "Just Like Chicken"

If it "Tastes Like Chicken", but it runs like a Snake, How much money does it have in it's wallet?

 

[EnumaElish]

If it "Tastes Like Chicken", but it runs like a Snake, How much money does it have in it's wallet?

< total profits Roadrunner cartoons ever made.

Is it the economy?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is it the economy?

It's the humdity.

This recent news: an unfortunate rabbit was recently struck and killed while dozing in a nearby thread, dreaming of cosmological matters. The unrepentent female motorist who squished the poor hare was quoted as saying "Of course I didn't try to swerve. He was poised to leap at the throat of my defenseless pet tiger."

Or is it the heat?

 

[EnumaElish]

Or is it the heat?

Whatever it is, it is unfortunate that she did what she did after announcing that she would not side with any of the parties in conflicts between desert animals.

Does Starbucks have a plan to open smaller stores inside their larger ones, where one may enjoy a favorite beverage upon getting tired from wandering around in the larger store?

 

[Cosmo16]

Does Starbucks have a plan to open smaller stores inside their larger ones, where one may enjoy a favorite beverage upon getting tired from wandering around in the larger store?

yes, that why they can even sell more things that are exactly the same thing with a longer name?

Which on the topic, how long until starbucks opens up inside of dunkin donuts?

 

[hypatia]

That should be soon, with there new product line..Dunkin Stars. A kosher five point star, and guaranteed 5 good dunks per serving!

hmm gone only 5 days, and back to find the rabbit's untimely demise...was he a Fricassee'in wabbit?

 

[Cosmo16]

hmmm, you would have to ask him.
However, how do you tell a rabbit from a wabbit?

 

[zoobyshoe]

However, how do you tell a rabbit from a wabbit?

This requires several courses in biology, bio-physics, bio-engineering, bio-philosophy, physiology, animal husbandry, veternary medicine, and complete mastery of The Way of the Samurai. Regardless of this education, some experts still can't make out the subtle differences and guess.
Recently when I was digging for jellyfish fossils at the beach I happened to dig up an old guitar pick. Upon close inspection I discovered that it had the name B. Wilson scratched into it. Frankly, I was astonished. How did my old college roomate, Bob Wilson's, guitar pick get to a California beach?

 

[coffee na lang dear]

Maybe somebody picked it..

Why can't we call 11 as onety-one the way we call 21 as twenty one?

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Because that would cause ambiguity when asked how many Taiwans there are in the world.

If I can't think of a stupid question, am I too stupid or not stupid enough?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Because that would cause ambiguity when asked how many Taiwans there are in the world.
If I can't think of a stupid question, am I too stupid or not stupid enough?

You're neither. You're a delivery boy. Collecting a bill for a bunch of...grocery clerks.

Are you an assassin?

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

You're neither. You're a delivery boy. Collecting a bill for a bunch of...grocery clerks.
Are you an assassin?

I am a soldier. Dipped in egg yolk.
Why is this conversation going in reverse?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I am a soldier. Dipped in egg yolk.
Why is this conversation going in reverse?

No one installed the forward software.

Is reststance futile?

 

[Math Is Hard]

No one installed the forward software.
Is reststance futile?

Yes. All your base are belong to us.

Why is Zooby using a nekkid pichur of himself for his avatar?

 

[hypatia]

If you got it, flaunt it!

You can have my base's, but you can't have my peanutbutter...mmmmm why is Jiff the creamy-ist?

 

[Cosmo16]

Jiff is the creamist because, seceretly, they do not actually use peanuts!

Who is responsible for ending this conspirisy of epic proportions!

 

[coffee na lang dear]

who cares!

what's the difference between conspirisy and conspiracy?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Who is responsible for ending this conspirisy of epic proportions!

This conspirisy, of epic proportions, was ended by Mrs. Bertha Washington, of, coincidently, Washington. D.C. U.S.A., one day last month when she cracked into the D.O.D. computer base by complete accident while trying to access a website that had come to her attention for it's spectacular promises of a free, revolutionary formula, that anyone can make in their own kitchen, for cleaning drapes. She was exited. She typed fast and sloppy. She ended up at the DOD. Confused, she hit delete, and in the blink of an eye, an astonishing amount of critical conspirisy data was recycled into showtune lyrics.

Are you going to eat that or just play with it?

 

[coffee na lang dear]

just want to play zoob...

can somebody tell me if gumshoe have sizes?

 

[zoobyshoe]

can somebody tell me if gumshoe have sizes?

Yes, someone could tell you.


What would they say?

 

[coffee na lang dear]

errr...size 6? hahahha

d' you think it will fit?

 

[Just some guy]

Yes, but only if they want to fit

How many meese am I permitted to hunt in the Andorran hunting season?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How many meese am I permitted to hunt in the Andorran hunting season?

No, you're confused. The Andorran hunting season is for the meese to hunt you.

Say, I'm trying to sleep. Can't you turn your headlights off?

 

[MSI]

dude , you are sleeping in the wrong place !

what is the difference between a mad cow and a mad cat ?

 

[Townsend]

what is the difference between a mad cow and a mad cat ?

None at all. A mad cow is a mad cat...

Which way is up?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Which way is up?

I'm afraid we can't just release that information willy nilly to any random quetioner who come along. Please fill out the form on page 76 of the application booklet #26-17-234C, Appeals For Orientation, and submit it, with your check, money order, or credit card info (US fee: $327.00) before the deadline date for your state and county (see table on page 65 of the pamphlet #98-21-23-554G, Filing Deadlines For Appeals For Orientations For Your State And County.

Did you fill this form out yourself?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Did you fill this form out yourself?

I'm sure he did. The filling out of this form became such an time-consuming endeavor that he found it necessary to have himself banned from PF just to ensure that he had enough time to complete it before the deadline.

And speaking of time-consuming things - damn this periodic table! I'll never remember it all. Why can't they just arrange the elements alphabetically? That would make much more sense!

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why can't they just arrange the elements alphabetically?

They've tried many time but it turned out not to be possible to teach any of the elements the alphabet.

Hey, I'm trying to post here! Could you get that security alert out of the way?

 

[jimmie]

Could you get that security alert out of the way?

Brutus, step aside.

Does that stairway go upstairs? And if yes, how do I go downstairs after I go upstairs?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Does that stairway go upstairs?

No one knows. Unsolved Mysteries once did an episode about that stairway. It used to go in the Winchester House but it was removed and moved, Then moved again. We could speak of that latter instance as a re-moval, but not a removal.


Couldn't we?

 

[jimmie]

A former ladder-maker man I used to know, a cousin three steps removed, would have been happy to remove himself from work to discuss the latter topic with you, and I am sure he would have found it moving.

However, he re-moved himself from being a ladder-maker so he could move and become a vegetable-grower, giving him more time to discuss the latter farmer instance rather than the former ladder instance, which I find moving.

Which reminds me, how many steps are there in the 12-step program for my cousin that is three steps removed?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Which reminds me, how many steps are there in the 12-step program for my cousin that is three steps removed?

Well, the steps in 12 step programs for people trying to remove themselves from habitual laddering are referred to as "rungs" and there are just enough of them. That is: there are plenty.

Recently when I tried to print out a page of information about a new, interesting digital product, what emerged from the printer instead was one of Wolram's slippers. How do you suppose that happened?