Avoiding "Special" People: A Rant

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The discussion centers around frustrations with people who take advantage of kindness, particularly in academic settings. Participants express annoyance at individuals who expect help at all hours without considering the needs of others. A specific example is shared about a person who repeatedly called for homework help at inappropriate times, leading to feelings of being used. The conversation highlights generational differences in expectations around phone etiquette, with many agreeing that late-night calls are unacceptable unless in emergencies. There is a consensus that being too accommodating can lead to being taken for granted, and participants emphasize the importance of setting boundaries to avoid such situations. The dialogue also touches on how personal habits and social norms around communication change with age.
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[rant #1]
I often make mistake of helping 'x' category people who then think they have privilege to disturb me any time of day and get from me whatever they want without considering/recognizing my needs.
(I don't ask much but good people just help me without me telling them :shy:)

Do they consider themselves so special that they fail to recognize other needs?

I just try to avoid them. They are as useless as garbage!
(I just made a mistake of helping two of them and had 5-6 more requests in less than 2 days!
[/rant]
 
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rootX said:
I often make mistake of helping 'x' category people...

Are we talking about members of the 'girl' category? :smile:
 
Math Is Hard said:
Are we talking about members of the 'girl' category? :smile:

On usual basis, I interact with only ~2 girls
My class has only 3-4 girls (Either they don't look like girls or are weird)
I just recognized that those 2 also come under x :smile:

But my best friend who is a girl and not in my college doesn't come under the set x:approve:
 
Hold on - I need to draw a Venn diagram.
 
Be nice, but not too nice. Otherwise, people will walk all over you.
 
You're lucky. Last semester, I met this guy and made the mistake of giving my cellphone contact number to him. Over the next month or so he called me at least twice almost everyday, often at ungodly times like 12am, 1am for stupid homework help. That guy was so lazy he didn't even bother doing his homework or sometimes attend lectures or labs. Somehow he thought he could always ask me if he didn't understand as though I were his private tutor. I got so sick of his calls I started ignoring them and switching my cellphone off whenever he tries to contact me. Over time he started to get the hint, but still persisted.

When the semester ended he left me alone without contacting me for 3 whole months during the vacation. Unfortunately this practice resumed again when the new semester started. Again I ignored his calls and there was once I told him rather irritatedly that I was busy. From then on, he hasn't contacted me since.

What a leech.
 
Defennder said:
Over time he started to get the hint
You know... you could have actually said something...
 
Hurkyl said:
You know... you could have actually said something...

That's what I was thinking! If someone called me at midnight to ask about homework, that would have been the first, last and only time that happened because I'd have given them an earful about how obnoxious they were to call at that hour! Then again, I grew up in a generation where you don't call ANYONE after 10 PM unless they've explicitly told you that you can or should, or someone is in the hospital and dying (if they're already dead, it can wait until morning).
 
Moonbear said:
That's what I was thinking! If someone called me at midnight to ask about homework, that would have been the first, last and only time that happened because I'd have given them an earful about how obnoxious they were to call at that hour! Then again, I grew up in a generation where you don't call ANYONE after 10 PM unless they've explicitly told you that you can or should, or someone is in the hospital and dying (if they're already dead, it can wait until morning).

For you and me, its don't call BEFORE 10 AM! Strike that, don't call BEFORE 12! (I woke up today at 6:00 pm, I was up all night doing something).
 
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  • #10
Hurkyl said:
You know... you could have actually said something...

Moonbear said:
That's what I was thinking! If someone called me at midnight to ask about homework, that would have been the first, last and only time that happened because I'd have given them an earful about how obnoxious they were to call at that hour! Then again, I grew up in a generation where you don't call ANYONE after 10 PM unless they've explicitly told you that you can or should, or someone is in the hospital and dying (if they're already dead, it can wait until morning).
Anyway Cyrus is right. Don't be too nice to jerks. They'll walk all over you if they can, for free.
 
  • #11
Moonbear said:
That's what I was thinking! If someone called me at midnight to ask about homework, that would have been the first, last and only time that happened because I'd have given them an earful about how obnoxious they were to call at that hour! Then again, I grew up in a generation where you don't call ANYONE after 10 PM unless they've explicitly told you that you can or should, or someone is in the hospital and dying (if they're already dead, it can wait until morning).

I don't know anybody that sleeps before 1 am...

It's amazing how quickly times change.

EDIT: I'm with Cyrus...calling before noon is far ruder than calling at midnight. :)
 
  • #12
There are the individuals and their interests not the individual and the others' interests.
 
  • #13
Moonbear said:
Then again, I grew up in a generation where you don't call ANYONE after 10 PM unless they've explicitly told you that you can or should, or someone is in the hospital and dying (if they're already dead, it can wait until morning).

Isn't that the truth! The phone rings after 10:30 p.m. and my heart pounds in my chest.

SticksandStones said:
I don't know anybody that sleeps before 1 am...

It's amazing how quickly times change.

EDIT: I'm with Cyrus...calling before noon is far ruder than calling at midnight. :)

Weirdly, SticksandStones, I'm guessing you'll find out that it's not times that change but your age that changes. When I was in my teens and 20's, even early 30's, phone calls at 1 a.m. meant nothing. Everyone was still up, wandering around, doing stuff. Calling in the prior to noon was beyond rude.

And then you get older. And you want to go to bed at night, because you have to get up early in the morning, and you're beat. You aren't up carrying on until all hours, so late evening phone calls become a sleep disturbance. And then it becomes an unwritten rule that you simply don't phone after 10 unless it's an emergency. Mark my words; it'll happen to you too.
 
  • #14
Defennder said:
Anyway Cyrus is right. Don't be too nice to jerks. They'll walk all over you if they can, for free.

Yep, I agree.

But, I never give my phone number to jerks :approve:.

Sometimes, I wonder if they are laughing at my back. They know that they are showing up only when they need help ...
 
  • #15
Moonbear said:
That's what I was thinking! If someone called me at midnight to ask about homework, that would have been the first, last and only time that happened because I'd have given them an earful about how obnoxious they were to call at that hour! Then again, I grew up in a generation where you don't call ANYONE after 10 PM unless they've explicitly told you that you can or should, or someone is in the hospital and dying (if they're already dead, it can wait until morning).

I'm the same way. I don't call anyone before 10am or after 10pm. Even at my student house, I go into quiet mode after 10pm and I won't make too much noise before 9am. But if someone complains that I make too much noise at 9:30am, I ignore them. You should be up at that hour, if not, expect the consequences of people being up, alive and living at 9:30am. It's a respectful hour.

My one roommate has no set sleep time, or wake time. He runs exclusively on Coffee, Tylenol, Kraft Diner, and Pizza Pockets. It's very strange.
 
  • #16
SticksandStones said:
I don't know anybody that sleeps before 1 am...

Those of us who have to be awake early enough to not just show up for 8 AM classes, but teach them, start going to bed a lot earlier than we used to. Even when I'm awake late at night, it's because I'm trying to get something done or trying to fall asleep unsuccessfully. The last thing I'm interested in at that hour is the phone ringing or having a conversation.
 
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