Warren's Unfortunate Baked Doritos Experience

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In summary, Warren had an unfortunate experience with Baked Doritos. Despite being a fan of the brand, he found the baked version to be lacking in flavor and texture. This led to disappointment and a decision to stick with the original version in the future.
  • #1
chroot
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Baked Doritos are nasty. I mean, really nasty. In the Jesus Christ, what on Earth compelled me to pay money for this vile slop kinda way.

But I ate them all anyway. :uhh: :yuck: :frown:

- Warren
 
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  • #2
I expect this sort of thread from tribdog, or yomamma, but now you, Chroot? Have they been adding something strange to the water out west?

They are nasty, but I never felt compelled to eat more than one. :yuck:
 
  • #3
Oh yeah, they're nasty, you've got to have grease.
 
  • #4
How could anyone think you could make a Dorito healthier just by baking it anyway? Do they think cheese is naturally that color orange? :rolleyes:
 
  • #5
Moonbear said:
They are nasty, but I never felt compelled to eat more than one. :yuck:

You ate a whole one?!
 
  • #6
Moonbear said:
They are nasty, but I never felt compelled to eat more than one. :yuck:

There was a day, in the not-so-distant past, when I nearly "bonked" on my bike ride into work one morning. By the 12th mile I was practically unable to move my legs anymore, but didn't realize it was because my blood sugar had tanked. By the 15th I was shaking.

When I got to work my appetite was positively ravenous. I mean, I had never been so hungry in my entire life. I had no cash for the snack machines, couldn't find any coworkers, and didn't think I could handle riding my bike anywhere to get any food.

So, I started looking around my office. I found nothing but a tube of chapstick. I turned it over and over in my hands, wondering.. honestly wondering.. if chapstick had any nutritional value, and how I'd feel after eating the entire tube. I wanted to eat the chapstick so strongly that I actually googled it just to make sure... really sure... it had no nutritional value.

- Warren
 
  • #7
chroot said:
So, I started looking around my office. I found nothing but a tube of chapstick. I turned it over and over in my hands, wondering.. honestly wondering.. if chapstick had any nutritional value, and how I'd feel after eating the entire tube. I wanted to eat the chapstick so strongly that I actually googled it just to make sure... really sure... it had no nutritional value.

- Warren
I was afraid for a moment you were going to say you ate it.

Actually, it might taste better than the doritos.
 
  • #8
chroot said:
There was a day, in the not-so-distant past, when I nearly "bonked" on my bike ride into work one morning.
Now that's a talent! :uhh: Oh, you probably mean something different by "bonked." o:)

I found nothing but a tube of chapstick. I turned it over and over in my hands, wondering.. honestly wondering.. if chapstick had any nutritional value, and how I'd feel after eating the entire tube. I wanted to eat the chapstick so strongly that I actually googled it just to make sure... really sure... it had no nutritional value.

- Warren
Um, yeah, when you're checking on the nutritional value of chapstick, your blood sugar is definitely dangerously low!
 
  • #9
I almost assuredly would have eaten it, if it weren't the minty medicated variety. I didn't think it would sit too well. :frown:

- Warren
 
  • #10
rachmaninoff2 said:
You ate a whole one?!
I don't remember...I've blocked most of the experience from memory.
 
  • #11
Moonbear said:
I don't remember...I've blocked most of the experience from memory.

I should record the sounds my stomach is making right now, post-Doritos. It sounds like a whale orgy. :frown: Someone's going to be unhappy later tonight.

- Warren
 
  • #12
chroot said:
I should record the sounds my stomach is making right now, post-Doritos. It sounds like a whale orgy. :frown: Someone's going to be unhappy later tonight.

- Warren
Likely anyone with a nose who lives with you. :rofl: But thanks for sharing. :yuck:
 
  • #13
Moonbear said:
Now that's a talent! :uhh: Oh, you probably mean something different by "bonked." o:)
I thinks that "boinked", but yeah, my mind went straight to the same place. :blushing:
 
  • #14
At least I know who my fans are.

- Warren
 
  • #15
Doritos: MSG, garlic powder and cottonseed oil.

http://www.fritolay.com/fl/flstore/cgi-bin/products_doritos.htm
 
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  • #16
...but Doritos coming right out of the fryers at Frito are awesome. :biggrin:
 
  • #17
I think anyone who rides a bike 15 miles deserves to eat chapstick. (By which I mean I'm envious.)
 
  • #18
Baked Doritos are nasty. I mean, really nasty. In the Jesus Christ, what on Earth compelled me to pay money for this vile slop kinda way.

But I ate them all anyway.

- Warren
Funny how they are my favorite baked corn chip snack. And they're up there in the general snack category probably around #5-10
 
  • #19
Fried cheetos are better than baked cheetos, fried potato chips are better than baked chips, some things are just better fried. Fried donuts are better than baked donuts. :bugeye:
 
  • #20
Fried oreos are better than baked oreos.

Fried smores are better than baked smores.
 
  • #21
zoobyshoe said:
I think anyone who rides a bike 15 miles deserves to eat chapstick. (By which I mean I'm envious.)

I'm going to be riding 585 miles in six days this June, for AIDS/LifeCycle 5. Want to donate? :biggrin:

http://www.aidslifecycle.org/1353

- Warren
 
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  • #22
I'll donate if you eat a chapstick at the end of it. I used to eat soap. But that has nothing to do with my blood sugar.
 
  • #23
Doritos=good
Baked Doritos=:yuck:

Moonbear said:
I expect this sort of thread from...yomamma
:grumpy:
 
  • #24
I expect this sort of thread from...yomamma
:grumpy:
What? You don't think this is a very productive thread?

We all know now that I am the only person in the world that likes baked doritos.
 
  • #25
chroot said:
I'm going to be riding 585 miles in six days this June, for AIDS/LifeCycle 5. Want to donate? :biggrin:

http://www.aidslifecycle.org/1353

- Warren

I considered doing that run a few years back, but when I started having my typical allergy/asthma attacks come summer, I decided not to.

How long does it take to ride a bike 15 miles to work? Are you in relatively open country or a city?
 
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  • #26
I usually keep about a 17-18 mph average, including stopping for lights and being cautious through intersections, etc. It takes me about 50 minutes to ride to work, each way. I'm never outside any city limits, but the majority of my ride is along relatively good, wide streets with bike lanes.

- Warren
 
  • #27
I love baked potatoe chips but i haven't tried the baked corn chips. I really have no desire to eat doritos anyhow, they're expensive and do not fill me up. Just my two mJ of energy.
 
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  • #28
How often do you ride to work chroot? Two times I have ridden 30 miles one way, then stayed the night at that location, and then road back the 30 miles. And I thought that this was absolutely crazy! I could not imagine ridding 30 miles / day a few days every week. If you ride that a few times a week you must be very healthy.
I am suprised someone that would ride 15 miles just to get to work would eat any kind of dorritos! That stuff is really bad for you. To tell you the truth, I don't know why anyone eats chips; or drinks soda for that matter. I really don't understand how that tastes good. I have not eaten that kind of food since I was a teenager and I got the munchies for various reasons :wink:.
 
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  • #29
I'm curious: given the same distance, say two miles, does a person burn more calories walking it or riding it on a bike. The first is much less effort but sustained for a longer period, and the latter much more effort, but for less time.
 
  • #30
zoobyshoe said:
I'm curious: given the same distance, say two miles, does a person burn more calories walking it or riding it on a bike. The first is much less effort but sustained for a longer period, and the latter much more effort, but for less time.
Good question! Everything I find always gives approximations of calories burned per hour, not based on distance. I would think there would be a number of additional variables with biking vs walking, such as how flat or hilly the terrain is...if you are coasting more than pedaling, you're not burning as many calories as if you had to pedal the whole way, while with walking, whether you're going uphill or downhill or on flat ground, you're still picking your foot up and putting it back down with every step. Then again, how many calories are burned just maintaining balance on a bicycle? Once we learn to ride a bike, we don't really think about all the muscles that requires using, but it does require some amount of effort, I just don't know how much.
 
  • #31
zoobyshoe said:
I'm curious: given the same distance, say two miles, does a person burn more calories walking it or riding it on a bike. The first is much less effort but sustained for a longer period, and the latter much more effort, but for less time.

I think these two situations would only be similar if he rode his bike VERY slow. I think riding 15 miles would be better comparable to jogging 5 miles; not running very fast, just jogging. What do you think chroot?
 
  • #32
I think my question boils down to a time/effort ratio. How much less time would I need to spend burning the same amount of calories if I were putting out much more effort for that time. I'm assuming the bicycle ride is requiring more effort per unit time, just less overall time. In real life the specifics would be quite variable and hard to measure. I'm sure they could do it in a gym using an excercise bike, though.
 
  • #33
Nothing000 said:
How often do you ride to work chroot? Two times I have ridden 30 miles one way, then stayed the night at that location, and then road back the 30 miles. And I thought that this was absolutely crazy! I could not imagine ridding 30 miles / day a few days every week. If you ride that a few times a week you must be very healthy.

Well, it rained literally almost every single day out here this March, so I haven't ridden much at all in the last month. Generally, I ride about 120-180 miles a week, depending upon how much time I have available. Generally, I ride to work (30 miles round-trip) three days a week, plus a longer ride on the weekend.

I wouldn't say I'm the pinnacle of fitness or anything, but I'm in good shape. I really don't think 30 miles a day is anything that special. I think almost anyone could do it after a month or two of training.

Most people think riding two miles is absolutely crazy. People have this notion that bicycles are kids' toys, good for pedaling around the neighborhood, and cannot be considered real transportation. That's just absolutely, totally false.

I am suprised someone that would ride 15 miles just to get to work would eat any kind of dorritos!

Well, I generally don't eat them. In fact, the healthier you are, the more disgusting those kinds of snack foods seem to be. It's rather ironic.

- Warren
 
  • #34
zoobyshoe said:
I'm curious: given the same distance, say two miles, does a person burn more calories walking it or riding it on a bike. The first is much less effort but sustained for a longer period, and the latter much more effort, but for less time.

Calorie consumption is closely related to heart rate. Keeping a heart rate of around 160 bpm (riding 18-19 mph), I burn about 50 kcal per mile. I can cover two miles in about four minutes at this level of sustained effort, or about 100 kcal total.

A walker's heart rate may never go over 100, and probably burns about 200-300 kcal per hour. Walking is about 2-3 miles an hour, so the walker probably burns about 200-300 kcal over the same distance.

This makes sense, since bicycling is a much more energy-efficient mode of transportation than walking. Over the same distance, you can expect to burn two or three times as many calories walking versus riding a bike.

Many cyclists round the ratio versus running to about five, in the sense that a five-mile bike ride is about the same energy expenditure and effort as a one-mile run.

My 30-mile a day bike ride is thus really about the same perceived effort as a six-mile run. This is not easy, but almost anyone can do it.

- Warren
 

1. What happened during Warren's Unfortunate Baked Doritos Experience?

During Warren's Unfortunate Baked Doritos Experience, he accidentally left a bag of Baked Doritos in the oven and they caught fire, causing a small kitchen fire.

2. Did Warren suffer any injuries during the incident?

No, luckily Warren was able to quickly put out the fire and did not suffer any injuries.

3. What caused the Baked Doritos to catch fire?

The Baked Doritos caught fire due to the high temperature of the oven and the oil and seasoning on the chips.

4. How can this type of incident be prevented in the future?

To prevent this type of incident, it is important to always keep an eye on food while it is cooking and to make sure the oven is set to the correct temperature.

5. Are Baked Doritos safe to eat after being involved in a fire?

In most cases, it is not safe to eat food that has been involved in a fire. It is best to dispose of the Baked Doritos and any other food that may have been affected by the fire.

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