Chris Miller said:
"Like Chris washes the dishes while Hennie does the laundry" makes no sense in SR? Like "What are you wearing now?" is a meaningless question in SR sexting?
No. But "now" in ordinary language does not have the precise meaning that "now" in SR discussions of this point has. When you ask someone what they are wearing "now", are you really insisting on asking "what are you wearing at the exact event on your worldline that is simultaneous with mine in a particular inertial frame"? Of course not. By "now" you really mean, in more precise SR language, "at the event on your worldline when you receive this text from me". You don't care what the coordinates of that event are in any inertial frame; you just care that the person gives you an answer based on their state when they get your text. The event when they get your text will actually be timelike separated (in the extreme it could be null separated, if you were communicating directly by light signals, but texting doesn't quite work that way) from the event when you sent the text, which means that it will not be "now" in the sense of simultaneity relative to the event when you send the text in any frame whatever. But so what? That makes no difference at all in ordinary experience.
Chris Miller said:
but suspect my "when" and "after" again miss some point?
Only that your use of those terms makes your specification of the scenario incomplete. "When", in reference to spatially separated events (like it being 2001 on Earth "when" you pass the star), always needs to come with a specification of a frame: in this case, what you probably meant was something like "the event at which I pass the star is simultaneous, in the Earth's rest frame, to the event of the clock striking noon, Greenwich Mean Time, in London on January 1, 2001". But you need to specify all that to make "when" meaningful. Similarly, you need to specify distances in some particular frame--for example, "at the event when I pass it, the star is 100 light years from Earth in the Earth's rest frame".
Given the specifications as I have fixed them above, the answer to your question is that the event of you reaching Earth will be at noon GMT in London on January 1, 2101, by Earth clocks, plus some very small amount of time which I haven't done the exact math to calculate.
Chris Miller said:
what year is it on Earth after I've circumnavigated the universe back to it?
It depends on the circumference of the universe. Heuristically, it will be the time it takes in the Earth's rest frame for a light ray to travel the circumference of the universe, plus some small additional time which I haven't done the exact math to calculate.
Chris Miller said:
The idea that I exist in my own personal now at the center of my own universe
Is not at all what we have been trying to explain. The fact that you can, in principle, adopt coordinates in which you are always at rest at the spatial origin does not mean that your choice of coordinates affects anything else. It doesn't. It certainly doesn't affect the physics of the universe or anything in it.