Can You Rap Like a Pro? Let's Hear Your Skills!

[climbhi]

Okay, I have a friend who totally digs rap music. I can't stand it. So we are arguing about it and I say "rap is so dumb, its just stupid flunkies who rhyme a little bit and get paid a whole lot to hang out with hot girls. Its a total joke, anyone could do it." And he comes back with "Well okay, if anyone can do it, it shouldn't be hard at all for someone smart like you ... so start rapping!" I kinda played with him for a bit like "that's so dumb, and I could do it no problem" and he just keeps saying "well then start rapping" so long story short after avoiding it for a while i finally tried, and found out that i sucked, seriously first class suckage here, it was terrible.

So let's see if any of you can do it, let's hear your best rap (bonus points if you can rap to QM equations or something cool like that)

 

[Dissident Dan]

I was bustin' up some b****s
Gave 'em lots of stitches
Cruisin' in my Cadillac
Layin' down the smack

Now they were givin' me some flack
Gave my homey a heart a attack
So I had to set 'em straight
With a b****slap to their face

I was bustin' up some b*****s
And a'rollin' in my riches
Cruisin' in my Cadillac
Layin' down the smack


I came up with that in 2-3 minutes, I'd say

 

[damgo]

climbhi, problem is you ain't got no flow
be tryin to rap and you soundin' like J-Lo
you pick up the mike, try and recite
all of a sudden, you got the fright!

if cats like you want to learn how to do this
best sit back now, meditate like a buddhist
damgo's in the house, with rhymes so tight
the sucka MCs just give up the fight

to rap this good, you needa almost sing it
smooth ain't enough, it's got to be analytic
simile's the key, if you listen to me
just like v when calculating p.

 

[N_Quire]

Give Damgo a record deal and a million dollars NOW!

 

[BoulderHead]

It was pretty good, I agree.
Damgo, did you rip off any rap songs for your inspiration?

If you did, then being that rap songs often rip off from mainstream songs, that would then be a rip off of a rip off. Or, as translated to english a little saying is;

"When a thief steals from a thief, God smiles"

[edit]
I'm not accusing you, btw.

 

[damgo]

naaa, none in particular, though rapping about rapping or how cool you are is pretty easy. this is a ripoff of "Southern Hospitality":

Dirty phys offices, dirty phys doors
Dirty phys students wearing dirty phys clothes
Dirty phys undergrads with their dirty phys 'fros
What we need round here are some dirty phys ho's

Hand-me-down students, hand-me-down profs
Hand-me-down research, hand-me-down thoughts
Hand-me-down speakers givin hand-me-down talks
And lazy-ass advisors can hand me down props

Sweat from the loops, sweat from the trees
Sweat from the QF, sweat from the T
You can sweat from a term of high degree
And if you sweat too fast, you be sweatin at c

 

[The Grimmus]

YO YO YO YO
I got my 9 on my right
and my Ho's on my left
THis weed is pure delight
And my chin is cleft...yo

You don't know what it is like
to bust a cap in whitey every night
running from the cops and doing other racial sterotypes
but it's ok cause i got my bi*ches on my right...yo

So yea that is all i got i am drawing a blank but i also hate rap so...
oh and damgo that was simpley delicious

 

[Alex00]

rap

This old rock never fails to confuse me
Cos everybody down here just won’t let me be
It’s black against white and rich against poor
But I can’t tell the difference anymore

I got this crack to free my mind
As the politics leave things undefined
And I got six *****es or more on speed dial
Got all I need to survive and that’s Guile

I’ve looked down the barrel of a trigger
And still called the guy a dirty cool person
All of that trouble just runs off my back
As I lay down the foundation for another track

I got that police chief commish in my pocket
To make sure that the cops always find me clean
Cos all of this material they ain’t never seen
And you ain’t been in my shoes so don’t mock it

I got the biggest hit counter on the whole of the web
I just re-direct from yours and it ain’t no sweat
And I could take your girlfriend too so shut your lip
I do this 24/7, even during a kip

 

[Alex00]

rap - edited version

This old rock never fails to confuse me
Cos everybody down here just won’t let me be
It’s black against white and rich against poor
But I can’t tell the difference anymore

I got this crack to free my mind
As the politics leave things undefined
And I got six *****es or more on speed dial
Got all I need to survive and that’s Guile

I’ve looked down the barrel of a trigger
And still called the guy a dirty cool person
All of that trouble just runs off my back
As I lay down the foundation for another track

I got that police chief commish in my pocket
To make sure that the cops always find me clean
Cos all of this material they ain’t never seen
And you ain’t been in my shoes so don’t mock it

I got the biggest hit counter on the whole of the net
I just re-direct from yours and it ain’t no sweat
And I could take your girlfriend too so shut your lip
I do this 24/7, even during a kip

 

[Andy]

Ha i taught that kid everything he knows!

 

[Alex00]

I know nothing

 

[climbhi]

Damgo, you're freaking awesome. That was amazing! The one that was ripped off was awesome, and the first one was incredible too. I think probably my biggest problem with rapping is I feel like an idiot when I do it so I can't get "into the flow" and end up "sounding like J.Lo" Really though that was awesome, I thought this topic would totally flop but its cool to see some people with enough confidence to try and bust out some rap.

 

[Alex00]

I got a 147 on that snooker table
I rode the derby winner straight out the stable
I got a bull eye and 180 on the darts board
And all this don’t come from the lord

I’ll put stone cold down in the WWE
I’ll take Brazil on at Wembley
I’ll out run Carl Lewis any day of the week
I’ve got more points then Seattle as I speak

I ain’t never put no chemical into my system
I don’t need any drug, substance or steroid
It makes all the other athletics so annoyed
I’ve been with all the Romanian gymnastic team and even kissed em

 

[Dissident Dan]

Yo
You can't handle this,
bandwagonist,
But if you're really nice, I might let you tag along a bit.

But don't have a fit
Just ain't got it
But maybe one day you'll have the skill to be half of this.

You ain't got it
You'll never have it
Just ain't me..
I'm the **it

Yo,
Wanna piece o' this?
Ludicrous!
I'll hand your ass to you; I got more and bigger domes to split.

If you can't handle this,
Don't be a b****,
Just sit back, kick back,
and realize that nothing in the world is going to change all this.

Cracka

 

[Ganshauk]

I got this really great rap song.

I made it up myself.

Rap is crap.

Period.

Deal with that my fella's.

Learn english, learn music, learn talent.

Talk to me then, MF.

 

[Dissident Dan]

LoL. I don't generally care for rap music, either, but I thought I'd just see what I can come up with.

 

[megashawn]

Learn english, learn music, learn talent.

Proper english is a dying trend, slangs of the world are starting to blend.

Music is a tool of human expression, what better way to enjoy an even of reflection?

Talent is much like an opinion. Do you listen to what you like, or to the ones who are winning?

You see, this, in this forum is not rap. This is mere im-promptu poetry. But it someones eye, I'm sure it is equal to crap.

There are many types of sound. Anything you want can be found. The key is listening beyond the words, try something simple, like jamming out to birds.

Classical, metal, country, and blues, they all have similarities, all with common roots. Rap is the new tool to be heard, and being heard is more important then any of your silly words.

So to you who say "Rap is crap" is merely a way to hide your ignorance fast.

Not all rap is good, some of its stupid. Just listen to Ja-Rule, trying to play cupid. Some people curse, some people scream, to you or me it may not mean a damn thing.

There are lots of others, who rap about getting money. I find this funny as there lyrics are crummy. Try Linkin Park, HED PE, Co-Evolution, there lyrical talent is the solution.

[End Rap]

Ok, but seriously you cannot say rap is crap. You obviously know nothing about it. As climbhi noted is friend said "If its so easy, go out an sale an album." Alot of what gets played on radios I agree is BS. The Gangster crap is old, and slowly dying out I think.

Now, you want to say get some talent. You know anything about Mike Shinota? I'd put him up againts the best english teachers in the nation as far as grammar is concerned. And you say Learn english. Rappers such as KRS1 stress the need for proper grammar, enuciation and pronociation (I need spelling I think). When you say that rap lacks talent, you reveal an ugly sore of ignorance, as you obviously know not what you speak on.

 

[BoulderHead]

me-ga-shawn, he can rap short or long.
He'll tell you when you're wrong cause he got it go-in-on.

 

[spacemanspiff]

ya know there is a huge difference between writing it and delivering it.

I'm guessing most of you who hate rap don't really know much about it.

mainstream rap is crappy to the same degree that mainstream popular music in general is. I'm tired of poeple who have only heard the latest flash in the pan rap artist claiming that rap sucks based on this. that's like me claiming that rock sucks based soley on limp biscuit.

 

[eNtRopY]

This thread reminds me of the fact that Arrested Development is giving a free concert in Madison, WI at Memorial Union on Saturday night at 10 PM.

eNtRopY

 

[enigma]

www.mchawking.com

Check out the MP3s...

EDIT:

(to the tune of OPP by Naughty by Nature)

Entropy
Harm me with harmony.
Doomsday, drop a load on 'em.

Entropy, how can I explain it? I'll take it frame by frame it,
to have you all jumping, shouting saying it.
Let's just say that it's a measure of disorder,
in a system that is closed, like with a border.
It's sorta, like a, well a measurement of randomness,
proposed in 1850 by a German, but wait I digress.
"What the **** is entropy?", I here the people still exclaiming,
it seems I got to start the explaining.

You ever drop an egg and on the floor you see it break?
You go and get a mop so you can clean up your mistake.
But did you ever stop to ponder why we know it's true,
if you drop a broken egg you will not get an egg that's new.

That's entropy or E-N-T-R-O to the P to the Y,
the reason why the sun will one day all burn out and die.
Order from disorder is a scientific rarity,
allow me to explain it with a little bit more clarity.
Did I say rarity? I meant impossibility,
at least in a closed system there will always be more entropy.
That's entropy and I hope that you're all down with it,
if you are here's your membership.

You down with entropy?
Yeah, you know me! (x3)
Who's down with entropy?
Every last homey!

Defining entropy as disorder's not complete,
'cause disorder as a definition doesn't cover heat.
So my first definition I would now like to withdraw,
and offer one that fits thermodynamics second law.
First we need to understand that entropy is energy,
energy that can't be used to state it more specifically.
In a closed system entropy always goes up,
that's the second law, now you know what's up.

You can't win, you can't break even, you can't leave the game,
'cause entropy will take it all 'though it seems a shame.
The second law, as we now know, is quite clear to state,
that entropy must increase and not dissipate.

Creationists always try to use the second law,
to disprove evolution, but their theory has a flaw.
The second law is quite precise about where it applies,
only in a closed system must the entropy count rise.
The Earth's not a closed system' it's powered by the sun,
so **** the damn creationists, Doomsday get my gun!
That, in a nutshell, is what entropy's about,
you're now down with a discount.

Hit it!
Doomsday, kick it in!

 

[damgo]

^^^ ROFL. This is by MC Chris, he rocks -- the delivery is superb:

http://www.mcchris.com/mp3/MC%20Chris%20-%20Fett%27s%20Vette.mp3

cruisin mos espa - in my delorian
war's over I'm a peacetime madalorian
my story has stumped star wars historians
deep in debate - buffet plate at bennigans!

rhyme renegade - sure to penetrate
first and second defense - I won't hesitate
got a job to do darth's the guy that delegates
got something against skywalker someone he really hates

I don't give a ****
I'm after solo
For all I care he could be hiding at yoda's dojo
Gotta make the money, credit's no good
When the Jawas run the shop in your neighborhood

Think you can cook I got a grappling hook
Let's make this quick because I'm really booked
I'm a devious degenerate, defender of the devil
Shut down all the trash compactors on the detention level!

Chorus:
My backpack's got jets
I'm boba the fett
I bounty hunt for jaba hut
To finance my 'Vette
I chill in deep space
A mask is over my face
I deliver the prize but I still narrow my eyes
Cuz my time I don't like to waste.
Get down

I'm a question wrapped inside an enigma
Get inside the slave one find your homing signal
From endor to hoth, ripley to spock
I'll find what you want, but there's going to be a cost

See my name is boba fett
I know my **** is tight
Start not acting right
you're frozen in carbonite
Got telescopic sight, flame throwers on my wrist
You still don't get the jist, spiked boots are made to kick
Targets are made to hit, you think I give a ****!?
Yo mama is a *****, I'll see you in the sarlaac pit
You just flipped my switch integrity been dissed
You scratchin on my itch you know I shoot the gift

Got bambinas at cantinas waitin to lick my lusty lips
So I'll let you get back inside your little spaceship
Give you a head start, because I'm the sportin kind
Consider the starting line the sneaky smile I hide inside

Hope you have hyper drive, pray to stay alive
Don't try to slip me a five because I never take a bribe
To the beat of a different drummer, badass bounty hunter
Let no man put asunder or else they be put under

As in six feet, got an imperial fleet
Backin me up going to blow up any attempt to defeat
They got to death star, got four payments on my car
Hand it over to hammerhead at mos eisley bar

He used to - carjack
now he's a - barback
Just goes to show how you can get back - on the right track
As for me that's not an option,
can't say that with more clarity
Me going legit would be like jar jar in speech therapy !

chorus

Slice you open like a tan tan,
faster than the autobahn
Or a motorbike in tron,
do the deed and then I'm gone
Jaba has a hissyfit,
contact calrissian
Over a colt, the paln unfolds, no politic is legit

Back in the day when I was a slave
Living live in the fast lane like in a pod race
My mean streak tweeked I became a basket case
So this space ace split that place poste haste

Took up a noble cause - called the clone wars
Cuz life's not all about girls and cars
Getting ****ed up in ****ed up bars
See I'm not a retard or gay like de barge
I'm large and in charge with a face so scarred
A cold black heart that's been torn apart
The sith wish that they had a **** so hard
Cuz it's long long ago in a **** far far

Call me master - because I'm faster than pryor on fire
I no longer have to hot wire
I'm a hunter for hire with no plans to retire
And all the sucka mc's can call me sire!

chorus

 

[jb]

Originally posted by eNtRopY
This thread reminds me of the fact that Arrested Development is giving a free concert in Madison, WI at Memorial Union on Saturday night at 10 PM.

eNtRopY

i saw that posted all over state street last week.

 

[spacemanspiff]

i saw that posted all over state street last week.

so did I. you mean there are other people here in madison?

 

[N_Quire]

I'll stick my neck out and say rap is awful. It's only poetry in the sense it rhymes. That's its limitation; it always rhymes and some of the rhymes are contrived or far too obvious. But heck, the kids like it and it does little harm.

 

[megashawn]

At least you give credit where it is due. A person who says its nothing more then talking fast is a fool.

While I'm not the biggest fan of rap, I do enjoy some of the music. There is more to rap then the rapper, such as the DJ, and in some cases as of recent, the band.

Its just another form of human expression. Some of it is rediculous, such as the mainstream ones who rap about making money, getting girls and killing people.