Checklist Accomplished: Launching My Daughter Into the World

[lisab]

Feed her - check.
Keep her clean - check.
Read to her - check.
Play with her - check.
Teach her how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world - check.
Treat boo-boos with band-aids and kisses - check.
Be very silly with her - check.
Help with homework - check.
Ground her when she's bad - check.
Serve as taxi when needed - check.
Cover the refrigerator with her art and awards - check.
Comfort her when her heart breaks - check.
Encourage her to trust her judgement - check.
Teach her to drive - check.
Marvel at her independence - check.
Indulge her by buying books she wants - check.
Share her joy at getting accepted to her #1 choice college - check.
Take her to her college and leave her there - check.

Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Look out world, she's been launched!

 

[Danger]

Okay... with the exception of the college references, you just described my marriage. It makes me even gladder that she's gone than I was 5 minutes ago.

 

[rootX]

 

[drizzle]

What? Miss mama!

 

[lisab]

Okay... with the exception of the college references, you just described my marriage. It makes me even gladder that she's gone than I was 5 minutes ago.

 

[lisab]

I'm amazed at how many of my daughter's friends - many with much better GPAs than she had - aren't going to college. Why? Money, other issues? No...most just didn't get around to applying.

I used to think that saying, "90% of success is just showing up" was a bit over stated, but maybe not.

 

[rootX]

What? Miss mama!

No,

Take her to her college and leave her there - check.

I believe this is the toughest and the saddest thing to check.

 

[lisab]

No,



I believe this is the toughest and the saddest thing to check.

It was bittersweet. Mostly sweet, but yeah, tough.

 

[rootX]

I'm amazed at how many of my daughter's friends - many with much better GPAs than she had - aren't going to college. Why? Money, other issues? No...most just didn't get around to applying.

I used to think that saying, "90% of success is just showing up" was a bit over stated, but maybe not.

"showing up" needs courage to take risks which is as important as any other thing.

 

[lisab]

"showing up" needs courage to take risks which is as important as any other thing.

+1 Exactly!

 

[cronxeh]

Lets see..

loan her money that she won't pay you back - check
have her crash over at your house for unspecified amount of time - check
have her boyfriend move in with her for unspecified amount of time - check
have her travel to europe on your expense - check
babysit her kids so she can go out and party - check
feed her kids - check
Keep her kids clean - check.
Read to her kids - check.
Play with her kids - check.
Teach her kids how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world to her kids - check.
...

 

[GeorginaS]

Lets see..

loan her money that she won't pay you back - check
have her crash over at your house for unspecified amount of time - check
have her boyfriend move in with her for unspecified amount of time - check
have her travel to europe on your expense - check
babysit her kids so she can go out and party - check
feed her kids - check
Keep her kids clean - check.
Read to her kids - check.
Play with her kids - check.
Teach her kids how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world to her kids - check.
...

Well that certainly explains your advice on the Relationship board.

 

[GeorginaS]

Feed her - check.
Keep her clean - check.
Read to her - check.
Play with her - check.
Teach her how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world - check.
Treat boo-boos with band-aids and kisses - check.
Be very silly with her - check.
Help with homework - check.
Ground her when she's bad - check.
Serve as taxi when needed - check.
Cover the refrigerator with her art and awards - check.
Comfort her when her heart breaks - check.
Encourage her to trust her judgement - check.
Teach her to drive - check.
Marvel at her independence - check.
Indulge her by buying books she wants - check.
Share her joy at getting accepted to her #1 choice college - check.
Take her to her college and leave her there - check.

Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Look out world, she's been launched!

Congrats mom and daughter for checking in with each other.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Congratulations lisab. I'm glad to hear that the fetus is viable.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Feed her - check.
Keep her clean - check.
Read to her - check.
Play with her - check.
Teach her how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world - check.
Treat boo-boos with band-aids and kisses - check.
Be very silly with her - check.
Help with homework - check.
Ground her when she's bad - check.
Serve as taxi when needed - check.
Cover the refrigerator with her art and awards - check.
Comfort her when her heart breaks - check.
Encourage her to trust her judgement - check.
Teach her to drive - check.
Marvel at her independence - check.
Indulge her by buying books she wants - check.
Share her joy at getting accepted to her #1 choice college - check.
Take her to her college and leave her there - check.

Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Look out world, she's been launched!

Congratulations to you and your daughter.

Now it's time to go to Disneyland! What do you plan to do with the empty room? Is the empty nest syndrome setting in?

 

[Borek]

Feed her - check.
Keep her clean - check.
Read to her - check.
Play with her - check.
Teach her how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world - check.
Treat boo-boos with band-aids and kisses - check.
Be very silly with her - check.
Help with homework - check.
Ground her when she's bad - check.
Serve as taxi when needed - check.
Cover the refrigerator with her art and awards - check.
Comfort her when her heart breaks - check.
Encourage her to trust her judgement - check.
Teach her to drive - check.
Marvel at her independence - check.
Indulge her by buying books she wants - check.
Share her joy at getting accepted to her #1 choice college - check.
Take her to her college and leave her there - check.

Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Look out world, she's been launched!

9:37 am here, you made my day

Congrats to all of you.

And when I wrote about kitchen, I didn't necessarily mean place where you are preparing food. Plenty of other opportunities around.

 

[Danger]

So how long you have left?

Undetermined at this point. Four months ago, my doctor gave me 6 months. So far, I'm defying the odds. I honestly think that I can squeeze out another year or so.

 

[Andre]

Undetermined at this point. Four months ago, my doctor gave me 6 months. So far, I'm defying the odds. I honestly think that I can squeeze out another year or so.

You're doing a great job, Dan. Please let us know how we can help you achieving that goal and maybe even more?

Hang in there, pal

 

[Andre]

Feed her - check...
...
Take her to her college and leave her there - check.

Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Look out world, she's been launched!

Ah yes the pre-launch checklist, as Cronxeh stated, better keep your checklist standby for the post take off check, cruising check, pre-recovery check. Not done yet.

Dinand is now 15 months, we're busy with step six here of the sequel checklist. Explaining the wonders of life

 

[Astronuc]

Feed her - check.
Keep her clean - check.
Read to her - check.
Play with her - check.
Teach her how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world - check.
Treat boo-boos with band-aids and kisses - check.
Be very silly with her - check.
Help with homework - check.
Ground her when she's bad - check.
Serve as taxi when needed - check.
Cover the refrigerator with her art and awards - check.
Comfort her when her heart breaks - check.
Encourage her to trust her judgement - check.
Teach her to drive - check.
Marvel at her independence - check.
Indulge her by buying books she wants - check.
Share her joy at getting accepted to her #1 choice college - check.
Take her to her college and leave her there - check.

Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Look out world, she's been launched!

Congrats to your daughter and you, lisab, and dad too. Well done!

 

[jackmell]

Feed her - check.
Keep her clean - check.
Read to her - check.
Play with her - check.
Teach her how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world - check.
Treat boo-boos with band-aids and kisses - check.
Be very silly with her - check.
Help with homework - check.
Ground her when she's bad - check.
Serve as taxi when needed - check.
Cover the refrigerator with her art and awards - check.
Comfort her when her heart breaks - check.
Encourage her to trust her judgement - check.
Teach her to drive - check.
Marvel at her independence - check.
Indulge her by buying books she wants - check.
Share her joy at getting accepted to her #1 choice college - check.
Take her to her college and leave her there - check.

Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Look out world, she's been launched!

I love that except for the grounding. I think that's a pain to deal with and everybody stays mad for a time. Maybe something like, "Show disappointment when she's bad." I would think that would work some if she loves you a lot.

 

[lisab]

I love that except for the grounding. I think that's a pain to deal with and everybody stays mad for a time. Maybe something like, "Show disappointment when she's bad." I would think that would work some if she loves you a lot.

Guess I'm a bit more old fashioned, I have not the slightest hesitation to punish a kid who's crossed the line.

Mad? Actually it was very rare to be mad - it's not my style or my daughter's. As far as I can remember, every time she was grounded (which was probably fewer than 10 times total), she agreed that she completely deserved it.

 

[jackmell]

Guess I'm a bit more old fashioned, I have not the slightest hesitation to punish a kid who's crossed the line.

Mad? Actually it was very rare to be mad - it's not my style or my daughter's. As far as I can remember, every time she was grounded (which was probably fewer than 10 times total), she agreed that she completely deserved it.

Good for you Lisa. You know what's best for yours. Just wanna' keep them safe, healthy, smart, and sharp. I wrote something about grounding some time ago, "Dad dreams about one thing these days." Guess I'll keep the title. Sorta' gives it away though, huh? Anyway, your thread made me think about it. Maybe you'd like it enough to think again about grounding. I'll post a link to it when I clean it up if that's ok to do here.

 

[lisab]

Good for you Lisa. You know what's best for yours. Just wanna' keep them safe, healthy, smart, and sharp. I wrote something about grounding some time ago. Your thread made me think about it. Maybe you'd like it enough to think again about grounding. I'll post a link to it when I clean it up if that's ok to do here.

Good, I'd like to see it .

Btw, I think the type of punishment depends on the kid and the circumstances. When I was a kid, whenever my sister was grounded it was like punishment for the *whole* family - she was often insufferable, and our house was small .

 

[DaveC426913]

As far as I can remember, every time she was grounded (which was probably fewer than 10 times total), she agreed that she completely deserved it.

Which means there's lots of times you didn't ground her that you should have!

 

[D H]

As cronxeh mentioned, there are still a few items left on your checklist. Paying for college, ... Your money woes are far from over. True DINKhood is a ways off.

However, handing a grandkid in need a change to your daughter ("this smells like your job") or spoiling your grandkids rotten (belated revenge for when your 5 year old daughter said "I love Nana more than you") can be kinda sweet ...Congrats, lisa!

 

[BobG]

Lets see..

loan her money that she won't pay you back - check
have her crash over at your house for unspecified amount of time - check
have her boyfriend move in with her for unspecified amount of time - check
have her travel to europe on your expense - check
babysit her kids so she can go out and party - check
feed her kids - check
Keep her kids clean - check.
Read to her kids - check.
Play with her kids - check.
Teach her kids how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world to her kids - check.
...

I can relate to this post. Except substitute "bail her boyfriend out of jail" for "have her boyfriend move in with her for unspecified amount of time" and delete paying for trips to Europe (although I did fork out for a non-refundable plane ticket to visit me and have her cancel her trip).

I enjoy it, though.
[PLAIN]http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/9007/dscn1080.jpg

[PLAIN]http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/8701/dscn1091a.jpg

 

[D H]

One of my sons is married but told us "Don't hold your breath on the grandkid thing. That ain't happening for a long time." I told him not to count on birth control, to instead do the math on the reliability of birth control and the number of times they rely on it. He was quite taken aback. (Telling him that he or one of his brothers was a surprise package added to the shock.)

 

[rootX]

It will be interesting if Molly also makes a checklist for what she learned from you.

 

[D H]

Kids don't do that 'til they hit 21 or so. From age 12 to 20 kids know their parents are dumber than dirt.

 

[rootX]

I just found that I am 22 (http://www.mathcats.com/explore/age/calculator.html) . I don't believe that.

 

[Danger]

I just found that I am 22 (http://www.mathcats.com/explore/age/calculator.html) . I don't believe that.

I just found that I'm not 22. I do believe that, but don't like it.

 

[drizzle]

Go Molly Go Go Go!


Now mom's checklist wasn't that bad, was it?... *Waiting for Molly's checklist*

 

[rootX]

I just found that I'm not 22. I do believe that, but don't like it.

I have pretty much stopped believing that I age.

 

[DaveC426913]

I have pretty much stopped believing that I age.

You stop aging the year that you first have to start calculating your age.

"How old am I? Uh, let's see. Born in '64... this is '10, so..."

Happened to me at about 44.

 

[Norman]

Congrats lisab- that must feel awesome and a little heartbreaking! I still remember leaving for college and having my parents drop me off. It was simultaneously liberating and scary. I remember looking forward to talking to my parents on the phone and hearing their voices- it was comforting.

Just remember if you send her some food, send a lot. The kids in our dorm that shared their parents home cooking were always well liked!

I just found that I'm not 22. I do believe that, but don't like it.

I have pretty much stopped believing that I age.

I had the same revelation as danger in June when I tore my Achilles. Turns out believing something is quite different from it being true!

You stop aging the year that you first have to start calculating your age.

"How old am I? Uh, let's see. Born in '64... this is '10, so..."

Happened to me at about 44.

That made me chuckle out loud!

 

[fuzzyfelt]

Congratulations lisab, and Molly too!111

 

[Dembadon]

Feed her - check.
Keep her clean - check.
Read to her - check.
Play with her - check.
Teach her how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world - check.
Treat boo-boos with band-aids and kisses - check.
Be very silly with her - check.
Help with homework - check.
Ground her when she's bad - check.
Serve as taxi when needed - check.
Cover the refrigerator with her art and awards - check.
Comfort her when her heart breaks - check.
Encourage her to trust her judgement - check.
Teach her to drive - check.
Marvel at her independence - check.
Indulge her by buying books she wants - check.
Share her joy at getting accepted to her #1 choice college - check.
Take her to her college and leave her there - check.

Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Look out world, she's been launched!

Congratulations, lisab! You sound like an exceptional parent, and I've no doubt that your daughter is well prepared to start this next phase of her life.

 

[jackmell]

That list is not enough for me. Don't get me wrong, I love that list, except . . . well, never mind. And I admire parents taking time to learn how to raise healthy children. We know what some of the consequences for not doing that are. Me, I'd just ask her, "girl, you ready to start the next phase of your life?" At that age, I'm pretty sure my daughter would have said, "what phase?" but maybe she's not the average.

But how do you make sure that's she's ready? For me, that list is not enough. That's what I mean.

 

[Dembadon]

That list is not enough for me. Don't get me wrong, I love that list, except . . . well, never mind. And I admire parents taking time to learn how to raise healthy children. We know what some of the consequences for not doing that are. Me, I'd just ask her, "girl, you ready to start the next phase of your life?" At that age, I'm pretty sure my daughter would have said, "what phase?" but maybe she's not the average.

But how do you make sure that's she's ready? For me, that list is not enough. That's what I mean.

I don't think lisab's post is intended to be a comprehensive parenting checklist, jackmell.

 

[DaveC426913]

But how do you make sure that's she's ready? For me, that list is not enough. That's what I mean.

You don't.

The last item on the list really should be:

...and then let them go out and make their own mistakes. You will not always be there as a crutch to "make sure" they're ready.

 

[jackmell]

I don't think lisab's post is intended to be a comprehensive parenting checklist, jackmell.

Hi. I'm sorry I didn't quote you above with that comment I made. You said:

Congratulations, lisab! You sound like an exceptional parent, and I've no doubt that your daughter is well prepared to start this next phase of her life.

Ok, that's what's not enough for me. Not her checklist. That is, her check list is not enough for me to decide that she is an exceptional parent and that her child is well-prepared for the next phase in life. I'm not saying she and her are not, I'm just saying that I need more information about her family to say things are good. And she doesn't care what I think, right, but I'm just implying I guess that it takes a whole bunch more to be a good parent and a whole bunch more to raise a child well that's all.

 

[Evo]

Wait, I thought your daughter's school was only a 1 hour drive? Going to my office is a one hour drive.

Evo Child moved an hour away for school and was back 5 days a week. She was in my place at least 2-3 times a week.

Does your daughter have a car?

 

[Dembadon]

...

Congratulations, lisab! You sound like an exceptional parent, and I've no doubt that your daughter is well prepared to start this next phase of her life.

Ok, that's what's not enough for me. Not her checklist. That is, her check list is not enough for me to decide that she is an exceptional parent and that her child is well-prepared for the next phase in life. I'm not saying she and her are not, I'm just saying that I need more information about her family to say things are good. And she doesn't care what I think, right, but I'm just implying I guess that it takes a whole bunch more to be a good parent and a whole bunch more to raise a child well that's all.

I'm sure we all could come up with thousands of things to put on a list, but I don't think one needs to do that in order to claim that lisab sounds like an exceptional parent. In addition, "The list" isn't the only thing I considered. She's made countless posts, especially in the Academic Guidance and Relationship sections, that confirm my feelings. However unsubstantiated my claim may be, I feel comfortable it would hold up to scrutiny.

 

[lisab]

My mom tells me that the best way to determine if you're a good parent is to observe how your children parent their own children.

Soooo...I hopefully have many years before I experience that!

 

[lisab]

Wait, I thought your daughter's school was only a 1 hour drive? Going to my office is a one hour drive.

Evo Child moved an hour away for school and was back 5 days a week. She was in my place at least 2-3 times a week.

Does your daughter have a car?

Yes, it's only an hour (maybe 1.5 hours) and yes, she has a car. But for the last year she's been like a racehorse waiting to run. I'd be surprised if she comes back even once a week, but I wouldn't mind that at all .

 

[Evo]

Yes, it's only an hour (maybe 1.5 hours) and yes, she has a car. But for the last year she's been like a racehorse waiting to run. I'd be surprised if she comes back even once a week, but I wouldn't mind that at all .

Evo Child had so much freedom growing up that she loved coming home once she started college, it kept her connected with the familiar.

We raised our girls very differently, but they both grew up great, and that's all that matters.

 

[BobG]

When I moved out, I never came back.

Well, I did drive by the house once. Turned out that right after I moved out, my parents moved and didn't leave a forwarding address. Worse yet, they sold anything I left behind at a garage sale right before they moved.

 

[lisab]

When I moved out, I never came back.

Well, I did drive by the house once. Turned out that right after I moved out, my parents moved and didn't leave a forwarding address. Worse yet, they sold anything I left behind at a garage sale right before they moved.

Wow, are you one of my brothers?!?

My parents did the same. Well they did leave a forwarding address, but they moved into a one-bedroom apartment.

But the garage sale...they sold the chest of drawers I used through high school, and the bottom drawer was full of my diaries ! Why didn't they check the dang drawers? Who sells a chest of drawers without checking what's in it?!?

 

[Evo]

Wow, are you one of my brothers?!?

My parents did the same. Well they did leave a forwarding address, but they moved into a one-bedroom apartment.

But the garage sale...they sold the chest of drawers I used through high school, and the bottom drawer was full of my diaries ! Why didn't they check the dang drawers? Who sells a chest of drawers without checking what's in it?!?

I was lucky, my dad died young and my mother didn't move because of bad health.

On the other hand, all of my old writings and drawings disappeared when my older daughter found them and thought that they were so cool that she took them to friend's homes to show them off and lost them all.