Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

News flash:

Musicologists have discovered in Duke Ellington’s archives an unpublished attempt at jazz - country music fusion:

“Take the Hay Train.”

 

[fresh_42]

An atomic war would be the end of humanity.
But there are disadvantages, too.

 

[fresh_42]

Do you know that feeling if dogs feel that you fear them? For me it's traffic lights who feel that I'm in a hurry.

 

[DrGreg]

An atomic war would be the end of humanity.
But there are disadvantages, too.

On a similar note, people say that climate change threatens the survival of the planet.

No so. Once climate change has killed all the humans, the planet will soon recover.

 

[fresh_42]

On a similar note, people say that climate change threatens the survival of the planet.

No so. Once climate change has killed all the humans, the planet will soon recover.

The planet will do anyway, o.k. at least the next 4 gy. However, the biosphere will soon recover!

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 244122

I would never betray Wile E.

 

[davenn]

I would never betray Wile E.

of course not poor guy already gets such a hard lifeI will be in Juneau later this year but arriving by cruise ship, not plane.
A cruise up and down the Alaskan and British Columbian coasts

 

[Ibix]

of course not poor guy already gets such a hard life

I watched an episode with my son recently where the coyote actually catches the roadrunner. The expression of incredulous joy on his face was priceless and slightly heartbreaking. You know it's going to go badly for the poor guy.

 

[fresh_42]

A cruise up and down the Alaskan and British Columbian coasts

Be aware! If you order a whiskey people will call you an alcoholic. But if you order a Fanta nobody ...

 

[Steelwolf]

Poor Wile E. Only wants his Beep Well-and-done! And Corned Beep, Roast Beep but his biggest problem is beep on the hoof! (who actually Owns Acme and co)

 

[jack action]

Speaking of Wile E. Coyote, car guys have their fun with him too:

​

And when I was a teen, I had a T-Shirt that looked a lot like this one:

​

I always rooted for the poor guy!

 

[*now*]

That coyote is really a crazy clown.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

I'm a professional counterfeiter - and I have the certificates to prove it.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 244210

So that's why it's called the Goldilocks Zone!

 

[WWGD]

of course not poor guy already gets such a hard lifeI will be in Juneau later this year but arriving by cruise ship, not plane.
A cruise up and down the Alaskan and British Columbian coasts

I like Alaska, Ju Neau?

 

[WWGD]

Lady on the subway reading the map, the part that says 'You are Here' :
" How do they know?"

 

[davenn]

Juneau

I like Alaska, Ju Neau?

I still not sure how to pronounce that correctly ??

 

[fresh_42]

Juneau
I still not sure how to pronounce that correctly ??

The ending is French. In this case you can't pronounce it correctly. At least I've never heard an English speaker pronouncing the 'u' correctly. Seems out of reach.

 

[WWGD]

Juneau

I still not sure how to pronounce that correctly ??

Here it is pronounced sort of as " You Know" , but instead of a soft 'You', more like in 'Jew

The ending is French. In this case you can't pronounce it correctly. At least I've never heard an English speaker pronouncing the 'u' correctly. Seems out of reach.

Well, we are in the jokes forums, so I guess we can relax rigor here. Ju know?

 

[WWGD]

Walked into a conference for Physicists at the school. Shouted: "Which one of you is Sheldon"?

 

[WWGD]

Here it is pronounced sort of as " You Know" , but instead of a soft 'You', more like in 'Jew

Well, we are in the jokes forums, so I guess we can relax rigor here. Ju know?

Altho I've been told I do the opposite, using rigor in jokes and relaxing it in my Math...

 

[fresh_42]

Well, we are in the jokes forums, so I guess we can relax rigor here. Ju know?

Yes, but it is interesting. The reason is a different use of the tongue, which is why most foreigners have an accent in English, whereas some other sounds do not exist in English, e.g. Jules (Verne). The 'j' is very soft, a superposition of 'sh' and 'z', and 'u' doesn't have an equivalent. A bit like in 'myriad', but far more closed. On the other hand it is difficult for us non-native speakers to roll the tongue and speak in the back of the mouth instead of the front. Would be interesting to know when this imprinting takes place, and how some manage to overcome it.

 

[WWGD]

Yes, but it is interesting. The reason is a different use of the tongue, which is why most foreigners have an accent in English, whereas some other sounds do not exist in English, e.g. Jules (Verne). The 'j' is very soft, a superposition of 'sh' and 'z', and 'u' doesn't have an equivalent. A bit like in 'myriad', but far more closed. On the other hand it is difficult for us non-native speakers to roll the tongue and speak in the back of the mouth instead of the front. Would be interesting to know when this imprinting takes place, and how some manage to overcome it.

My speculation is that those that don't overcome it are still thinking in their native language. Similar
for problems of English speakers in other languages. The inner-settings are still in the original language
but the language being used has changed.

 

[mfb]

It is not just a difficulty to make the sound. For people who grew up with English it is often difficult to hear any difference between u and ü (using the German umlaut for the sound here) - something that is really easy for people who grew up using both sounds.

There is a lot of discussion how exactly it works, but it looks like infants can pick up all the differences but then become insensitive to differences not used in the language(s) they hear. It gets much more difficult to learn them again later.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_period_hypothesishttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_acquisition#Sensitive_period