Collection of Lame Jokes

[jack action]

 

[phinds]

?

 

[Ibix]

?

I assume the tattoo artist is going to erase his work...

 

[BillTre]

 

[phinds]

I assume the tattoo artist is going to erase his work...

Which has what to do with credit cards?

 

[Ibix]

Which has what to do with credit cards?

If you can't pay, they take it away...

 

[phinds]

If you can't pay, they take it away...

WAY too convoluted for my simple mind.

 

[jack action]

WAY too convoluted for my simple mind.

Does that mean the joke is too lame or not enough?

 

[phinds]

Does that mean the joke is too lame or not enough?

It means that for me, it isn't even a joke.

 

[fresh_42]

Doctor: "Hard to tell what it is. I assume it is because of the alcohol."
Patient: "Uh, ok then. I'll return when you're sober."

 

[jack action]

It means that for me, it isn't even a joke.

Too lame it is then.

 

[Hornbein]

Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Goedel, and Eddie Murphy walk into a bar. Werner says, "Ve are three, ve are in a bar, it is anachronistic. Ve must be in a joke. But how can ve PROVE zis?"

Kurt replies, "A joke must be funny, But this is not funny. It cannot be a joke!"

Eddie says, "Of course it's funny. You're just telling it wrong."

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DrGreg]

Digression: odd that this uses a visibly different ligature "st" instead of "st".

 

[WWGD]

Digression: odd that this uses a visibly different ligature "st" instead of "st".

It's typical dead people swap ;).

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[JT Smith]

View attachment 285387

I don't get it. Why would Jesus be turning water into fruit punch?

 

[jack action]

I'm fat, but I identify as skinny.

I'm transfat.

 

[WWGD]

From a Chinese talk show:

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

From a Chinese talk show:View attachment 285420

I feel like I'm missing some cultural context. But it reminds me of Blackadder's "I love [my daughter] more than any pig" (which kinda makes sense in context).

 

[WWGD]

I feel like I'm missing some cultural context. But it reminds me of Blackadder's "I love [my daughter] more than any pig" (which kinda makes sense in context).

Fromk what I understand, it was a dating show from Chinese TV. Though I can't imagine any context other than an agricultural show where it would make sense and fit in.

 

[fresh_42]

I thought Chinese people are devoted to corn as Irish people are devoted to rice - not at all.

 

[fresh_42]

My other interpretation had been worse:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

My other interpretation had been worse:

View attachment 285465

I thought 'Ansatz' meant an informal answer.

 

[fresh_42]

I thought 'Ansatz' meant an informal answer.

It is more of a set-up. I have no idea what to do with 80% ethanol, but I assume it is supposed to be mixed with something. But you shouldn't order 'Korn' in Germany unless you want to get drunk.

 

[WWGD]

It is more of a set-up. I have no idea what to do with 80% ethanol, but I assume it is supposed to be mixed with something. But you shouldn't order 'Korn' in Germany unless you want to get drunk.

So ' Korn' is an Ansatz for a headache?

 

[fresh_42]

So ' Korn' is an Ansatz for a headache?

Only the bad ones.

 

[WWGD]

Only the bad ones.

I hate bad headaches ! ;).

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

A little cruel, but funny, I thought:

 

[jack action]

I have no idea what to do with 80% ethanol

Fuel?

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 285464

Just read the ( last) names in order.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 285506

I doubt this is even an option.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 285505

One would think there is NO WAY that could sink.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 285506

Whenever my wife got mad and started harping, I would just smile and say "Yes my love". Then she would get even madder and stomp her feet. And I would just smile and say "Yes my love". Then her face and ears would get all red as she got even angrier. And as she spun around and stormed off to slam a door, I would just smile and say "Yes my love". Course we're divorced now but that sure was funny!

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

At this point in time I'm not sure if it's illegal to walk into a bank wearing a mask, or not wearing a mask.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 285554

Serving the US Space Force.