Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 287183

Huh?

 

[phinds]

Huh?

Guy's belly flab looks exactly like a profile of Woody Harrelson. I saw the resemblance immediately.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Guy's belly flab looks exactly like a profile of Woody Harrelson. I saw the resemblance immediately.

Why would anyone know what Woody Harrelson's belly flab looks like? Are a lot of people close with Woody?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 287189

Cow manure, aka Caumanure is my favorite French wine.

 

[WWGD]

Why would anyone know what Woody Harrelson's belly flab looks like? Are a lot of people close with Woody?

No, belly flab of guy in pic looks like Woody himself, not his flab.

 

[phinds]

Why would anyone know what Woody Harrelson's belly flab looks like? Are a lot of people close with Woody?

I assume you are not being serious.

 

[WWGD]

 

[DrGreg]

I was told the best way to prepare strawberries is to sprinkle with sugar and pile cream on top.

Don't try it! Pile cream tastes awful!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

No, belly flab of guy in pic looks like Woody himself, not his flab.

Huh?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I assume you are not being serious.

LMAO, you guys are killing me!

 

[Bandersnatch]

I can't tell if you're doing a bit, or if you skipped your coffee today.

It's a manifestation, you see? A woodyfestation. Like when Jesus decides to appear in a slice of bread or on some dog's hindquarters.

 

[jack action]

When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid, she becomes a Def Leppard.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[berkeman]

I found this in a co-worker's cubicle today (yes, he does work in Marketing)...

https://www.bowdoin.edu/~disrael/what-the-customer-really-needed/what-the-customer-really-needed.jpg

 

[Ibix]

An explorer is deep in the jungle and finds himself surrounded by cannibals. "Oh no," he mutters, "I'm going to die."

But suddenly a crack opens in the clouds and a ray of light streams down and a voice booms, "No, you are not. Pick up that rock and bash the leader over the head with it."

Quickly, the explorer picks up the rock and smashes it as hard as he can over the lead cannibal's head. As he falls to the ground, the voice booms "Now you're going to die."

 

[jtbell]

This really happened when I was out one night with a group of friends in grad school.

"The town where I went to college was sooo small..."

"How small was it, JT?"

"It was so small, the only traffic light was a blinker."

 

[jack action]

 

[berkeman]

Oh dear, that took me 30 seconds too long to get it...

 

[WWGD]

 

[ergospherical]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

And your wife is driving in the front seat, and you are already in husband jail in the back passenger seat...

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 287276

This ain't Wilson. This is Wilson:

 

[WWGD]

This ain't Wilson. This is Wilson:
View attachment 287277

I only get a reply linking to " attachment 287277" so I can't tell what it is.

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

Life is all about perspective.

The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

 

[jack action]

​

Maybe I'm not completely awake, but the "I unicode" really made me laugh!

​

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

Also in the vein of perspective, the verb to be resolute is an irregular one in most languages. In English it goes:
I am firm.
You are stubborn.
He/she is pig headed.

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

Spoiler: Rarely seen, but here it comes: the tooth fairy!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]