Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

Just found out that the company that produces yardsticks won't be making them any longer.

 

[Borg]

Vandals have attacked the Origami Museum in Tokyo!

We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds.

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 287491

I was behind a lady in the supermarket. The cashier asked her "Paper or plastic?". She replied "Can you take a cheque?".
(This was back when there were cheques.)
(Actually happened. I am not making this up.)

 

[WWGD]

I was behind a lady in the supermarket. The cashier asked her "Paper or plastic?". She replied "Can you take a cheque?".
(This was back when there were cheques.)
(Actually happened. I am not making this up.)

Did they call the check ' Bob'? ;).

 

[jack action]

To the person who stole my Microsoft Office license, I'm going to find you.

You have my Word.

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

Not sure "like" is quite right for that but there's no emoji for 'wry recognition of a familiar situation'. Is there a German word for that, @fresh_42?

 

[fresh_42]

Not sure "like" is quite right for that but there's no emoji for 'wry recognition of a familiar situation'. Is there a German word for that, @fresh_42?

For what? For 'been there done that' or 'how familiar'?

 

[WWGD]

How about we create one now:

"Geffrugeschindegmachdervanderneussenlicht"

 

[Ibix]

For what? For 'been there done that'?

Well that can have a range of emotional context. So yes, but with sympathy.

 

[fresh_42]

Well that can have a range of emotional context. So yes, but with sympathy.

Then it's "how familiar" which you can of course translate "wie vertraut".

 

[WWGD]

Then it's "how familiar" which you can of course translate "wie vertraut".

Do doble Umlauts cancel each other out? Maybe you can use Haagen Dasz, I heard it hasnt been registered yet. Edit: I remember the case of this guy in some 3rd world country who bought the right to several famous brand names: Pepsi, McDonalds, etc. and then tried to sell the rights to the respective companies. I don't know how that turned out in the end.

 

[fresh_42]

Do doble Umlauts cancel each other out? Maybe you can use Haagen Dasz, I heard it hasnt been registered yet. Edit: I remember the case of this guy in some 3rd world country who bought the right to several famous brand names: Pepsi, McDonalds, etc. and then tried to sell the rights to the respective companies. I don't know how that turned out in the end.

I don't know any double Umlaute. But I do know an example of an English word with Umlaut.

 

[jack action]

 

[berkeman]

View attachment 287505​

Ack, that took me way too long to figure out!

 

[Ibix]

But I do know an example of an English word with Umlaut.

Motörhead?

 

[fresh_42]

Motörhead?

I miss Lemmy.

 

[berkeman]

Motörhead?

Oh dear. That is wrong on so many levels. Where did you see that?

 

[fresh_42]

Oh dear. That is wrong on so many levels. Where did you see that?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motörhead

But the Americans have an example, too:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Öyster_Cult

 

[Ibix]

Oh dear. That is wrong on so many levels. Where did you see that?

An umlaut makes anything more metal, man.

Signed,
Ibïx

 

[berkeman]

An umlaut makes anything more metal, man.

LOL.

 

[mfb]

German has three umlauts, but have you seen how common ü is in Turkish?
Gümüşlük is a Turkish village with only umlauts (as vowels).

 

[Ibix]

From the TV Tropes page I linked above:

Backfired by American heavy metal band Trojan, who used umlaut over 'o' on their concert T-shirts. That failed spectacularly in Sweden, as tröjan means simply "the shirt" in Swedish...

A shirt saying "the shirt" is more hipster than metal, I think.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

Motörhead?

Blue öyster cult.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

I miss Lemmy.

Isn't he the one killed by death?

 

[WWGD]

Motörhead?

Nah, he's just another mentor.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Borg]

When I was a child, my mother told me that I could be anyone that I wanted to be.

She never told me that identity theft is a crime.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Worse porn ever:

 

[WWGD]

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 287654

Unless it is pink grapefruit with maple syrup! Mmmmm.

 

[Borg]

I saw an ex-girlfriend standing on the other side of a museum. I wanted to say hi but there was just so much history between us.

 

[jack action]

My wife rearranged the labels on my spice rack.

Haven't confronted her yet, but the thyme is cumin.

 

[jack action]