Collection of Lame Jokes

[mfb]

Some people use this as argument how much money NASA wastes or similar. Others get the wrong impression NASA would waste money on silly things like this. It is not absurd enough to be obviously satire.

 

[fresh_42]

Some people use this as argument how much money NASA wastes or similar. Others get the wrong impression NASA would waste money on silly things like this. It is not absurd enough to be obviously satire.

This is something different. Firstly, it is not a valid argument to generalize an example, and secondly such a story in this thread of jokes can hardly be taken as evidence.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 249276

Who is it you believe? Your eyes or me?

 

[Ibix]

The Vatican City exists entirely to be the "capital city" of the Catholic church, and it's inside Italy but not part of Italy, right? So it's a wholly holy city in a holey country.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 247898

There is (or used to be) a programme on the radio called The News Quiz, which does exactly what it says on the tin. Inbetween rounds they'd read out clippings from newspapers or magazines sent in by listeners. One I remember was from the letters page of a gardening magazine.

Q: My neighbour has a plant in his back garden which he says is a cabbage. I'm worried it's cannabis. How can I tell the difference?

A: Steal a few leaves and smoke them. If you are still worried, it's cabbage.

 

[jtbell]

News flash: The Energizer bunny has been arrested and charged with battery!

 

[Ibix]

I was working at the store the other day and this guy ripped open a packet of triple-As, grabbed one, picked up a jar of salt, and then came racing right towards me. That's right - I was charged with salt and battery.

 

[BillTre]

 

[256bits]

Ha Ha . The compressor told the vacuum cleaner "You suck!"

 

[Klystron]

And the oven asked the refrigerator, "Why are you always so cold to me?".

 

[jtbell]

And the oven asked the refrigerator, "Why are you always so cold to me?".

And the refrigerator responded, "Because you're just not hot enough for me!"

 

[Ibix]

John Cage's 4'33'' - is it a peace of music?

 

[mfb]

I don't know, but feel it is mute to argue against it.

 

[jack action]

I was setting my voice recognition password for my new phone and a nearby dog barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.

 

[DrClaude]

Some people use this as argument how much money NASA wastes or similar. Others get the wrong impression NASA would waste money on silly things like this. It is not absurd enough to be obviously satire.

The tyranny of "common sense." Things are often more complicated than most people think.

 

[fresh_42]

The tyranny of "common sense." Things are often more complicated than most people think.

 

[nuuskur]

We like to think in extremes or in black and white, perhaps, because it's easier for some reason or other.

 

[BillTre]

We like to think in extremes or in black and white, perhaps, because it's easier for some reason or other.

Less variation to consider initially (with a loss of resolution). Fewer possible scenarios to consider.
Fewer possible resulting scenarios to consider. Fewer calculations to compare all situations.
Fewer possible scenarios to consider.
Less thinking.
Its easier.

 

[fresh_42]

Less thinking.
Its easier.

Yes, but it is also the reason our law cases usually lasts so long. Other than the newspaper headlines they have to figure out were the bell curve has its maximum!

 

[Klystron]

We like to think in extremes or in black and white, perhaps, because it's easier for some reason or other.

Less variation to consider initially (with a loss of resolution). Fewer possible scenarios to consider.
Fewer possible resulting scenarios to consider. Fewer calculations to compare all situations.
Fewer possible scenarios to consider.
Less thinking.
Its easier.

To be sure people lack capacity for detail but we should not mistake this for Minimalism or Simplicity principle (KISS). Minimalism eliminates extraneous redundant pieces in order to concentrate on core details. KISS invites complexity but where required to solve the problem.

Simple in this context means to avoid not embrace stupidity.

 

[BillTre]

Minimalism eliminates extraneous redundant pieces in order to concentrate on core details. KISS invites complexity but where required to solve the problem.

Makes sense to me.
I think actually achieving desired results in the real world would require good judgement about when and how much to "invites complexity but where required to solve the problem", vs. not doing so.

Nowadays things may have swung to the less detail side among some people.
Understanding less detail makes you more easy to be lead.

 

[256bits]

Heard this on the radio.
Sloth called the police with a complaint of being assaulted by three turtles.
When asked if he could give a detailed description of the perpetrators, Sloth replied,
"Oh, not really. It all happened so fast."

 

[Klystron]

And the oven asked the refrigerator, "Why are you always so cold to me?".

And the refrigerator responded, "Because you're just not hot enough for me!"

"That is so deep.", Responded the sink. "You make me wet."

"Shocking!", exclaimed the circuit breaker.

"Shut it!", countered the sink, "You're always tripping.".

 

[mfb]

"Shut it!", countered the sink, "You're always tripping.".

"At least I'm not as high as the ceiling lamp!"

 

[fresh_42]

"At least I'm not as high as the ceiling lamp!"

"No time to do so. Particle physicists are climbing the stairs up and down all the time!"

 

[mfb]

It's just a phase.

 

[fresh_42]

It's just a phase.

I'm already happy that's no superstition.

There must be a science joke somewhere: cat + ladder + super(po)s[t]ition.

 

[mfb]

Why is Schrödinger's cat in a box experiment flawed?

Spoiler

A cat has nine lives, not just one

How do make a cat lose one of its lives?

Spoiler

You apply the lowering ladder operator on the cat state.

 

[Ibix]

You apply the lowering ladder operator on the cat state.

Remind me - is the lowering operator the one with the dagger?

 

[mfb]

That's why it takes a life.

(But I think the common notation has the dagger on the raising operator)