Collection of Lame Jokes

[topsquark]

I did notice that about this notice. Thanks for the notification.

Noted.

-Dan

 

[phinds]

Noted.

-Dan

I noticed what you did there.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 330300

Poppy seed roll.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 330251

How did that note come from a radio station?

 

[fresh_42]

How did that note come from a radio station?

No pooper without an internet appearance these days.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 330314

When my wife was pregnant we noticed that every baby in every catalogue was smiling and happy. The only exceptions were the babies in the National Health Service "why is my baby crying" leaflets ("usually they're hungry or tired, but here's how to recognise meningitis" kind of thing). So when our baby cried we used to joke that we should have ordered a baby from the catalogue, not got one of the NHS ones.

 

[dextercioby]

It appears the Romans couldn't have invented algebra, because their X was always known to be 10.

 

[Ibix]

It appears the Romans couldn't have invented algebra, because their X was always known to be 10.

They were also doomed, because without a symbol for zero they couldn't terminate strings in C.

 

[DrGreg]

At least the Romans knew of the convention $i = j$ (even though they got its value wrong).

 

[WWGD]

It appears the Romans couldn't have invented algebra, because their X was always known to be 10.

I won a bet against someone, that they could multiply any numbers of length 2 ( contrived, but necessary*) in less than 3 minutes.

I proposed LX times CI .

*Needed to avoid talk about digits, since Roman numbers have no digits , at least in the sense of standard Decimal ones.

 

[fresh_42]

I won a bet against someone, that they could multiply any numbers of length 2 ( contrived, but necessary*) in less than 3 minutes.

I proposed LX times CI .

*Needed to avoid talk about digits, since Roman numbers have no digits , at least in the sense of standard Decimal ones.

Easier than DF times A5.

 

[WWGD]

Easier than DF times A5.

Or Z_n , when n>26, so you've run out of letters of the alphabet.

 

[fresh_42]

Or Z_n , when n>26, so you've run out of letters of the alphabet.

Mathematicians know only five numbers: $-2\, , \,-1\, , \,0\, , \,1\, , \,2.$ $3$ is already $n$. And it is more than just a joke. There is a subtle change between two and three. E.g. the tensor rank (minimal number of generic tensors) is easy for two, but it starts to become quite difficult for three and higher degrees.

 

[topsquark]

Mathematicians know only five numbers: $-2\, , \,-1\, , \,0\, , \,1\, , \,2.$ $3$ is already $n$. And it is more than just a joke. There is a subtle change between two and three. E.g. the tensor rank (minimal number of generic tensors) is easy for two, but it starts to become quite difficult for three and higher degrees.

There was a film short (from Dust?) a little while ago about a guy who discovered a secret integer hiding between 3 and 4. No one believed him until after he died and one man saw a collection of four objects on a table, picked one up, and looked back down and noticed that there were still four objects on the table!

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

There was a film short (from Dust?) a little while ago about a guy who discovered a secret integer hiding between 3 and 4. No one believed him until after he died and one man saw a collection of four objects on a table, picked one up, and looked back down and noticed that there were still four objects on the table!

-Dan

There are two there: $\pi$ and the sum of all reciprocal Fibonacci numbers.

 

[Ibix]

There was a film short (from Dust?) a little while ago about a guy who discovered a secret integer hiding between 3 and 4. No one believed him until after he died and one man saw a collection of four objects on a table, picked one up, and looked back down and noticed that there were still four objects on the table!

There's a Greg Egan short story with a related premise. It turns out that the rules of arithmetic aren't completely settled for very large numbers, and somebody manipulates that so that temporarily the rules aren't completely settled for small numbers either, leading to a situation where three groups of two objects and two groups of three objects don't have the same number of objects.

 

[topsquark]

There's a Greg Egan short story with a related premise. It turns out that the rules if arithmetic aren't completely settled for very large numbers, and somebody manipulates that so that temporarily the rules aren't completely settled for small numbers either, leading to a situation where three groups of two objects and two groups of three objects don't have the same number of objects.

OMG!! That's the reason they won't teach commutativity of multiplication in the US school system anymore! I never understood why.

-Dan

 

[DaveC426913]

... four objects on a table, picked one up, and looked back down and noticed that there were still four objects on the table!

Obligatory reference:

 

[topsquark]

Obligatory reference:
View attachment 330334

It was hard to watch, but I love that episode.

-Dan

 

[WWGD]

How do matrices commute?

 

[berkeman]

From FB today:

 

[WWGD]

Weird ad/sign:

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Tom.G]

LX times CI = MMMMMMLX

 

[nuuskur]

 

[phinds]

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 330344

Nothing at all! Where's my fork?

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

LX times CI = MMMMMMLX

$\overline{V}MLX$

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DrGreg]

View attachment 330365

Essentially the same joke:

My uncle died peacefully in his sleep.

Unlike his passengers.

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

My uncle died peacefully in his sleep.

Unlike his passengers.

The version I heard was: When I die, I want to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my uncle. Not all screaming and terrified like his passengers.