Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #1,751
jobyts said:
Eat light. Be a breatherian.

Wouldn't that make you a photonarian?
 
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  • #1,752
jobyts said:
Wife: Honey, I think I'm going to do it. I want bigger boobs. I want $5000 to get a boob job.

Husband: What, you don't think you have a big enough boob standing in front of you right now?
 
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  • #1,753
First woman was created. She had three breasts. The middle breast kept getting in the way so she asked to have it removed. It was removed and handed to her. She said what am I going to do with this useless boob? Then man was created.
 
  • #1,754
lisab said:
Wouldn't that make you a photonarian?

Not "phototerian"?
 
  • #1,755
FizixFreak said:
lisab said:
Wouldn't that make you a photonarian?
Not "phototerian"?


??

You absorb the photons from food to fuel your bio-electric field. Cooked food literally requires your body to fill the dead matter with photons so that it can be assimilated, thus weakening your body.
(link not shared as it only got worse. kirlian photography, etc, etc, etc.)

So can we just stand facing the sun with our mouths open?

found whilst googling "people who eat photons", to determine the definitive answer.
 
  • #1,756
Tyrannosaurus Rex: I don't want those .ZIP files! Give me .RARs!
 
  • #1,757
FtlIsAwesome said:
Tyrannosaurus Rex: I don't want those .ZIP files! Give me .RARs!

Careful you don't end up extinct by falling into a tarball.

bazinga
 
  • #1,758
DaveC426913 said:
Careful you don't end up extinct by falling into a tarball.

bazinga
I'll get a cab to pull me out.
 
  • #1,759
DaveC426913 said:
Careful you don't end up extinct by falling into a tarball.

bazinga

That joke .iso lame.
 
  • #1,760
DaveC426913 said:
Careful you don't end up extinct by falling into a tarball.

bazinga

FtlIsAwesome said:
I'll get a cab to pull me out.

QuarkCharmer said:
That joke .iso lame.

I guess it should be zipped up and put away with the others.
 
  • #1,761
Lancelot59 said:
I guess it should be zipped up and put away with the others.
Or stuffed in a jar.
 
  • #1,762
FtlIsAwesome said:
Or stuffed in a jar.

Or take it to a .zoo. Possibly send it out to .sea?
 
  • #1,763
[PLAIN]http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/job-fails-extraction.jpg
 
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  • #1,764
Lancelot59 said:
Or take it to a .zoo. Possibly send it out to .sea?
Maybe I'll just .sit on it.
Nah, I'll thow it in a .bin.

No, even better. I'll start a rock band by cramming it in my .gtar.
 
  • #1,765
FtlIsAwesome said:
Maybe I'll just .sit on it.
Nah, I'll thow it in a .bin.

No, even better. I'll start a rock band by cramming it in my .gtar.

Be sure to watch your diet, and not to have too much BTRFS so you don't end up getting FAT.
 
  • #1,766
Strange, I seem to remember using - somewhere in late eighties - program that was able to .pak files, but it is not listed in wikipedia archive formats page.
 
  • #1,767
Borek said:
Strange, I seem to remember using - somewhere in late eighties - program that was able to .pak files, but it is not listed in wikipedia archive formats page.

It could've been a proprietary format that wasn't widely used.
 
  • #1,768
.pak is mostly used by video game companies for some reason. It's still around, check out Half-Life (Well okay, that's an old one, but still, it's not 1980's)
 
  • #1,769
Lancelot59 said:
Be sure to watch your diet, and not to have too much BTRFS so you don't end up getting FAT.
I'll utilize DEFLATE.
 
  • #1,770
- Neutrino.
- Knock-knock!
- Who's there?
 
  • #1,771
lisab said:
- Neutrino.
- Knock-knock!
- Who's there?

lololll nice one!
 
  • #1,772
Did CERN get around to running another test?
 
  • #1,773
Lancelot59 said:
Did CERN get around to running another test?

The results are in but they haven't run the tests yet.
 
  • #1,774
Ivan Seeking said:
The results are in but they haven't run the tests yet.
:smile:
 
  • #1,775
Ivan Seeking said:
The results are in but they haven't run the tests yet.

Buahaha! Good one Ivan!
 
  • #1,776
Ivan Seeking said:
The results are in but they haven't run the tests yet.
:smile: :rolleyes:
 
  • #1,778
Ivan Seeking said:
The results are in but they haven't run the tests yet.

HA! I got it...
 
  • #1,779
I would like to thank the last 8 posters for explaining LisaB's joke to me...

Ok! I get it now!

 
  • #1,780
OmCheeto said:
I would like to thank the last 8 posters for explaining LisaB's joke to me...

Ok! I get it now!

You're welcome. Happy to help!
 
  • #1,781
Ivan Seeking said:
The results are in but they haven't run the tests yet.

This... this is clever.
 
  • #1,782
FlexGunship said:
This... this is clever.

:biggrin: You know what they say about neutrino humor: It's all in the timing.
 
  • #1,783
What's purple and commutes?
An abelian grape.

What is the contour integral around Western Europe?
Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe
 
  • #1,784
Ivan Seeking said:
:biggrin: You know what they say about neutrino humor: It's all in the timing.

HA! Punny...
 
  • #1,785
QuarkCharmer said:
What is the contour integral around Western Europe?
Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe

Q: Why was Cauchy's dog unpopular in Poland?
A: It left a residue at every Pole.
 
  • #1,786
The animals at the zoo have been gossiping about the latest arrival: "Can you believe what the new gnu knew?!"
 
  • #1,787
How does a dairy cow go when it sneaks off the farm ?

Pasturize
 
  • #1,788
What do neutrinos wear when they ride horses?

massless chaps
 
  • #1,789
QuarkCharmer said:
What do neutrinos wear when they ride horses?

massless chaps

Oh.

I didn't get it at first, so I Googled the phrase.

I got it. I got retinal scarring is what I got.

Thank you QuarkCharmer for that.

 
  • #1,790
DaveC426913 said:
Oh.

I didn't get it at first, so I Googled the phrase.

I got it. I got retinal scarring is what I got.

Thank you QuarkCharmer for that.

I didn't think that anyone would have to google that one!
 
  • #1,791
why do we drive on the parkway and park on a driveway?
i think that one technically belongs to the stupidest questions.
 
  • #1,792
What's the difference between an accordian and an onion ?

Nobody's going to cry if you cut an accordian into tiny pieces.
 
  • #1,793
QuarkCharmer said:
I didn't think that anyone would have to google that one!
I know what they are, I just didn't make the connection. Obvious in retrospect.
 
  • #1,794
QuarkCharmer said:
What do neutrinos wear when they ride horses?

massless chaps

:smile:...hilarious...!
 
  • #1,795
368635_460s.jpg



369309_460s.jpg



PS: Is there any lame pics thread? Anyway if I'm ruining this thread with these pics, please let me know!o:)
 
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  • #1,796
A neutrino was arrested for exceeding the speed limit recently, but they had to let it go...

...:rolleyes:
 
  • #1,797
I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there are decimal points involved.
 
  • #1,798
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Just "The Doctor".


--------


zombie kitteh sez: i can has brains?
 
  • #1,799
I saw this on a professor's office door today and probably laughed more than most would
http://halloween.tipjunkie.com/wp-content/halloween-thumbs/if-the-broom-fits-ride-it-printable.jpg
 
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  • #1,800
With the new iPhone out, we can expect Siri to contribute a lot of lame jokes. Here are a couple that I've read about recently:

Q: Can you tell me a bad joke?

Siri: Two iPhones walk into a bar ... I forget the rest.

-----

Q: How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

Siri: 42 cords.

-----

Q: Who's on first?

Siri: That's right.
 

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