Collection of Lame Jokes

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New York police department are called to a fire downtown.When they get to the scene they see a Irish bar on fire and with flames gushing out the windows.They manage to kick the door down and see through the smoke filled room a old Irish drunk drinking a Guiness against the bar.The fight their way through and finally reach him.They ask him how the fire started and he replied that he didn't know how, as the place was on fire when he got there.
 
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Isaacsname said:
I am. I was making reference to a Groucho Marx movie, at least I think it was Groucho..

I'm such a ham sometimes.

Ahhhhh... thank you!

@Fit: Whoa...
 
FtlIsAwesome said:
Overkill? I'll show you overkill.

The only appropriate thing to say after being übernuked ... lol ... let’s celebrate this with cake!

[PLAIN]http://gallery.inferia.se/images/cake/nuked_cake.jpg
 
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Courtesy of Theoatmeal:

"What is a shark's favorite illegal substance?"
A: Reefer.
 
Isaacsname said:
If you throw a mime off of a cliff, will it scream on the way down ?

It will if you kick it in the groin and set it on fire first... I guarantee it! :biggrin:
 
nismaratwork said:
It will if you kick it in the groin and set it on fire first... I guarantee it! :biggrin:

:bugeye:Remind me to stay on your good side.
 
Isaacsname said:
:bugeye:Remind me to stay on your good side.

It's generally advisable, but mostly I'm just overly colorful in my writing. :smile:

Oh, and I was forced to watch a HORRIBLE mime for 1.5 hours when I was 6 years old... I think I'd have preferred a good solid molestation or beating!
 
nismaratwork said:
Oh, and I was forced to watch a HORRIBLE mime for 1.5 hours when I was 6 years old... I think I'd have preferred a good solid molestation or beating!
Is that mimested or mimestated?
 
nismaratwork said:
It's generally advisable, but mostly I'm just overly colorful in my writing. :smile:

Oh, and I was forced to watch a HORRIBLE mime for 1.5 hours when I was 6 years old... I think I'd have preferred a good solid molestation or beating!

You got off light, I was forced into it by my parents for a summer.

Let me tell you this :

It takes a twisted mentality and a derranged logic, as well as a deep-rooted affinity for generally freaking people out and completely alienating yourself from society from mere feet away.

'thimks to self'

" ...maybe that's why I was so good at it.."

:cry:
 
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Isaacsname said:
You got off light, I was forced into it by my parents for a summer.

Let me tell you this :

It takes a twisted mentality and a derranged logic, as well as a deep-rooted affinity for generally freaking people out and completely alienating yourself from society from mere feet away.

'thimks to self'

" ...maybe that's why I was so good at it.."

:cry:

Shhhh shhshshsh... its OK... let it out... let it all out.

@ThomasT: Moleimed and Mimested... and oh yes, "MIME-RAPE"... they can do it from across a room!
 
Heh... I'm suddenly reminded of Bloom County... Opus beats a mime to death with an Olive Loaf.
 
nismaratwork said:
@Fit: Whoa...
:biggrin: I win. :biggrin:
DevilsAvocado said:
The only appropriate thing to say after being übernuked ... lol ... let’s celebrate this with cake!

[PLAIN]http://gallery.inferia.se/images/cake/nuked_cake.jpg[/QUOTE]
I wonder what uranium tastes like.
 
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Just make sure the uranium doesn't undergo fission while in your digestive system.

:eek::bugeye::eek:
 
nismaratwork said:
Courtesy of Theoatmeal:

"What is a shark's favorite illegal substance?"
A: Reefer.
I'm a n00b. You'll have to explain it to me.
 
FtlIsAwesome said:
I'm a n00b. You'll have to explain it to me.

"reefer" is slang for cannabis, marijuana, weed, herb, Mary Jane, etc...

... but it's a fairly old term, a la 'Reefer Madness'.

Specifically it referred to a particular kind of marijuana cigarette.

Reefs are also formations in water where sharks often hunt... so... yeah.

Lame joke, as advertized...BAH ZING!
 
FtlIsAwesome said:
Just make sure the uranium doesn't undergo fission while in your digestive system.

:eek::bugeye::eek:

I like to eat two huge loads of uranium, neither of which is critical, but together they're supercritical... then I just hope I don't get constipation. It's even more fun with Plutonium! :wink:
 
Who wants Kliban..?

You do..

http://www.blackjelly.com/Mag/gallery/klibanhome.htm
 
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Isaacsname said:
Who wants Kliban..?

You do..

http://www.blackjelly.com/Mag/gallery/klibanhome.htm

"...were dealt with quickly and cruelly by time..."


I like this! Gary Larson and Kliban... two thumbs up
 
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FtlIsAwesome said:
I wonder what uranium tastes like.

boner.jpg
 
This guy will be a happy microwave engineer, alternatively happy sound engineer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGA7MEPfO-4
 
You guys are funny, but you're freaks. :smile:

I hope that guy didn't sneeze after the picture was taken.
:bugeye:
 
nismaratwork said:
You guys are funny, but you're freaks. :smile:

... eh omg I think you’re right ... I thought FtlIs was talking about URINEIUM ...


(THAT must be one of the lamest things in this thread... pleazzze?)

:biggrin:
 
DevilsAvocado said:
... eh omg I think you’re right ... I thought FtlIs was talking about URINEIUM ...


(THAT must be one of the lamest things in this thread... pleazzze?)

:biggrin:

Oh... that has to be up there, if not tops. :smile:

sign0020.gif
 
gatztopher said:
What do you call a man's lower leg? A mansion. - courtesy my brother circa 10 years old

I'm still trying to figure out what you call a boar's lower leg...

Isaacsname said:
I believe the word you're looking for is " Tasty "

nismaratwork said:
"Ham-hock"

"What's a ham-hock?" "It's a boar shin." "Oh... like eggs?"
 

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