Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #1,081
New York police department are called to a fire downtown.When they get to the scene they see a Irish bar on fire and with flames gushing out the windows.They manage to kick the door down and see through the smoke filled room a old Irish drunk drinking a Guiness against the bar.The fight their way through and finally reach him.They ask him how the fire started and he replied that he didn't know how, as the place was on fire when he got there.
 
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  • #1,082
Isaacsname said:
I am. I was making reference to a Groucho Marx movie, at least I think it was Groucho..

I'm such a ham sometimes.

Ahhhhh... thank you!

@Fit: Whoa...
 
  • #1,083
FtlIsAwesome said:
Overkill? I'll show you overkill.

The only appropriate thing to say after being übernuked ... lol ... let’s celebrate this with cake!

[PLAIN]http://gallery.inferia.se/images/cake/nuked_cake.jpg
 
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  • #1,084
That is some sloppy work with fondant... funny though!
 
  • #1,085
Courtesy of Theoatmeal:

"What is a shark's favorite illegal substance?"
A: Reefer.
 
  • #1,086
If you throw a mime off of a cliff, will it scream on the way down ?
 
  • #1,087
Isaacsname said:
If you throw a mime off of a cliff, will it scream on the way down ?

It will if you kick it in the groin and set it on fire first... I guarantee it! :biggrin:
 
  • #1,088
nismaratwork said:
It will if you kick it in the groin and set it on fire first... I guarantee it! :biggrin:

:bugeye:Remind me to stay on your good side.
 
  • #1,089
Isaacsname said:
:bugeye:Remind me to stay on your good side.

It's generally advisable, but mostly I'm just overly colorful in my writing. :smile:

Oh, and I was forced to watch a HORRIBLE mime for 1.5 hours when I was 6 years old... I think I'd have preferred a good solid molestation or beating!
 
  • #1,090
nismaratwork said:
Oh, and I was forced to watch a HORRIBLE mime for 1.5 hours when I was 6 years old... I think I'd have preferred a good solid molestation or beating!
Is that mimested or mimestated?
 
  • #1,091
nismaratwork said:
It's generally advisable, but mostly I'm just overly colorful in my writing. :smile:

Oh, and I was forced to watch a HORRIBLE mime for 1.5 hours when I was 6 years old... I think I'd have preferred a good solid molestation or beating!

You got off light, I was forced into it by my parents for a summer.

Let me tell you this :

It takes a twisted mentality and a derranged logic, as well as a deep-rooted affinity for generally freaking people out and completely alienating yourself from society from mere feet away.

'thimks to self'

" ...maybe that's why I was so good at it.."

:cry:
 
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  • #1,092
Isaacsname said:
You got off light, I was forced into it by my parents for a summer.

Let me tell you this :

It takes a twisted mentality and a derranged logic, as well as a deep-rooted affinity for generally freaking people out and completely alienating yourself from society from mere feet away.

'thimks to self'

" ...maybe that's why I was so good at it.."

:cry:

Shhhh shhshshsh... its OK... let it out... let it all out.

@ThomasT: Moleimed and Mimested... and oh yes, "MIME-RAPE"... they can do it from across a room!
 
  • #1,093
Heh... I'm suddenly reminded of Bloom County... Opus beats a mime to death with an Olive Loaf.
 
  • #1,094
nismaratwork said:
@Fit: Whoa...
:biggrin: I win. :biggrin:
DevilsAvocado said:
The only appropriate thing to say after being übernuked ... lol ... let’s celebrate this with cake!

[PLAIN]http://gallery.inferia.se/images/cake/nuked_cake.jpg[/QUOTE]
I wonder what uranium tastes like.
 
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  • #1,095
FtlIsAwesome said:
:biggrin: I win. :biggrin:

I wonder what uranium tastes like.

Actinic. :smile:
 
  • #1,096
Just make sure the uranium doesn't undergo fission while in your digestive system.

:eek::bugeye::eek:
 
  • #1,097
nismaratwork said:
Courtesy of Theoatmeal:

"What is a shark's favorite illegal substance?"
A: Reefer.
I'm a n00b. You'll have to explain it to me.
 
  • #1,098
FtlIsAwesome said:
I'm a n00b. You'll have to explain it to me.

"reefer" is slang for cannabis, marijuana, weed, herb, Mary Jane, etc...

... but it's a fairly old term, a la 'Reefer Madness'.

Specifically it referred to a particular kind of marijuana cigarette.

Reefs are also formations in water where sharks often hunt... so... yeah.

Lame joke, as advertized...BAH ZING!
 
  • #1,099
|<dorky scientist|on a hot date>|^2 = 0
 
  • #1,100
FtlIsAwesome said:
Just make sure the uranium doesn't undergo fission while in your digestive system.

:eek::bugeye::eek:

I like to eat two huge loads of uranium, neither of which is critical, but together they're supercritical... then I just hope I don't get constipation. It's even more fun with Plutonium! :wink:
 
  • #1,101
Who wants Kliban..?

You do..

http://www.blackjelly.com/Mag/gallery/klibanhome.htm
 
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  • #1,102
Isaacsname said:
Who wants Kliban..?

You do..

http://www.blackjelly.com/Mag/gallery/klibanhome.htm

"...were dealt with quickly and cruelly by time..."


I like this! Gary Larson and Kliban... two thumbs up
 
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  • #1,103
FtlIsAwesome said:
I wonder what uranium tastes like.

boner.jpg
 
  • #1,104
This guy will be a happy microwave engineer, alternatively happy sound engineer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGA7MEPfO-4
 
  • #1,106
:biggrin:
 
  • #1,107
You guys are funny, but you're freaks. :smile:

I hope that guy didn't sneeze after the picture was taken.
:bugeye:
 
  • #1,108
nismaratwork said:
You guys are funny, but you're freaks. :smile:

... eh omg I think you’re right ... I thought FtlIs was talking about URINEIUM ...


(THAT must be one of the lamest things in this thread... pleazzze?)

:biggrin:
 
  • #1,109
DevilsAvocado said:
... eh omg I think you’re right ... I thought FtlIs was talking about URINEIUM ...


(THAT must be one of the lamest things in this thread... pleazzze?)

:biggrin:

Oh... that has to be up there, if not tops. :smile:

sign0020.gif
 
  • #1,110
gatztopher said:
What do you call a man's lower leg? A mansion. - courtesy my brother circa 10 years old

I'm still trying to figure out what you call a boar's lower leg...

Isaacsname said:
I believe the word you're looking for is " Tasty "

nismaratwork said:
"Ham-hock"

"What's a ham-hock?" "It's a boar shin." "Oh... like eggs?"
 

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