Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #11,551
BillTre said:
[...Diet Water...]
Hey, now YOU can buy homeopathic medicine direct from your local supermarket! Don't pay the inflated prices charged by homeopaths ever again!
 
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  • #11,552
strangerep said:
Hey, now YOU can buy homeopathic medicine direct from your local supermarket! Don't pay the inflated prices charged by homeopaths ever again!
I always dilute my water to save money.
 
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  • #11,553
valenumr said:
I always dilute my water to save money.
I dehydrate mine, to save on postage.
 
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  • #11,554
Baluncore said:
I dehydrate mine, to save on postage.
I save postage on blank paper supplies by getting the blank pages emailed to me, which I send to my printer.

(That joke used to work with fax machines.)
 
  • #11,555
Baluncore said:
I dehydrate mine, to save on postage.
I lol'd
 
  • #11,556
Baluncore said:
I dehydrate mine, to save on postage.
I usually freeze it, so it has less energy.
 
  • #11,557
Screenshot_2021-12-22-23-31-32~2.png
 
  • #11,558
Screenshot_2021-12-22-23-31-10~2.png
 
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  • #11,559
X9sqxoq&tn=TkCWDu_njVQASNp5&_nc_ht=scontent-muc2-1.jpg
 
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  • #11,560
From my Facebook feed this morning...

Wolf to Pups.jpg
 
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  • #11,561
valenumr said:
I always dilute my water to save money.
I do, somewhere, have a bottle of deionized water that says "do not dilute" on it. I see what they're getting at, but...
 
  • #11,562
Screenshot_2021-12-23-16-13-40~2.png
 
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  • #11,563
From a conversation just now with my wife when I got home from the grocery store... (If I were a cartoonist, I could draw this one up. But since I'm not, here it is in words. And for the record, we are in our early 60's and my wife is a little hard of hearing and I'm a soft talker)

wife>> What's the magazine?

me>> It's from the History Channel on Navy Seals. I saw it in the check-out line and thought it would be interesting.

wife>> What?!

me>> I thought it would be interesting, so I bought it.

wife>> You bought a magazine about baby seals?!
 
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  • #11,564
berkeman said:
From a conversation just now with my wife when I got home from the grocery store... (If I were a cartoonist, I could draw this one up. But since I'm not, here it is in words. And for the record, we are in our early 60's and my wife is a little hard of hearing and I'm a soft talker)

wife>> What's the magazine?

me>> It's from the History Channel on Navy Seals. I saw it in the check-out line and thought it would be interesting.

wife>> What?!

me>> I thought it would be interesting, so I bought it.

wife>> You bought a magazine about baby seals?!
She knew that baby seals are a lot, lot cuter! And you know what we say here: hope dies last.
 
Last edited:
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  • #11,565
Screen Shot 2021-12-23 at 10.09.51 AM.png
 
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  • #11,566
  • #11,567
Brought to you by the guy who made a drone out of a taxidermy'ed cat:

Screen Shot 2021-12-23 at 10.11.10 AM.png
Comes the ostrich drone:

Screen Shot 2021-12-23 at 10.11.53 AM.png
Still waiting for a flying squirrel.
 
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  • #11,568
BillTre said:
Still waiting for a flying squirrel.
Your order, Sir!

szka%20Bacal_shutterstock_1083016916_1000x750_2020.jpg
 
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  • #11,569
BillTre said:
Comes the ostrich drone:
Let's face it. You should never turn your back on an ostrich drone.
 
  • #11,570
BillTre said:
Comes the ostrich drone
The trouble with ostrich drones is they keep crashing head-first into the sand.
 
  • #11,571
Screenshot_2021-12-23-22-07-47~2.png
 
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  • #11,572
" Dad, you're adopted":
Screenshot_2021-12-23-22-06-28~2.png
 
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  • #11,573
SMBC is weirder than usual today. I will just post the red button popup:
164027417620211223after.png
 
  • #11,574
Screenshot_2021-12-25-15-16-03~2.png
 
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  • #11,575
fresh_42 said:
Your order, Sir!

View attachment 294663
Needs some appendage props.Or better cartoon cred:

Screen Shot 2021-12-25 at 12.49.26 PM.png

Cartoon star: Rocket J. Squirrel
 
  • #11,576
Me, in my freshman days of snobbery that I have left behind:
main-qimg-49f9767f580c060dca4fbf2bb0d8a200-lq.jpeg
 
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  • #11,577
Love is a Skin

love is a skin
that protects you
a warmth that spreads
from the tips of your fingers
to your heart

sorry - not love -
glove, I meant glove
 
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  • #11,578
I went to the cinema last night. the man sitting in front of me had his dog with him. The dog seemed really engrossed in the film. When the film ended, I said to the owner «This might seem weird but your dog seemed to really enjoy that». «Yes I was surprised too, he hated the book.»
 
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  • #11,580
Shouldn't Frosty be a container of steam, then?
 
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