Collection of Lame Jokes

[Hamiltonian]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

The car horn was invented to warn people in case of danger.

The proof of that is that everybody uses it when a couple gets married.

 

[jtbell]

Today I learned that Ireland is the richest country in the world...

because its capital has been doublin' every year for the last hundred years.

 

[phinds]

 

[Oldman too]

Today I learned that Ireland is the richest country in the world...

because its capital has been doublin' every year for the last hundred years.

Is this statement missing context?

 

[Ibix]

Is this statement missing context?

Dublin/doublin'

 

[WWGD]

Today I learned that Ireland is the richest country in the world...

because its capital has been doublin' every year for the last hundred years.

A joke from the days after the 2008 recession/depression. What's the capital of Iceland? Around $2.50.

 

[Oldman too]

Dublin/doublin'

I wasn't aware that there were two Dublin's, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dublin_(barony) / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dublin I guess it did double. Can doublin'n Dublin be expressed mathematically? just wondering.

 

[Oldman too]

What's the capital of Iceland: Around $2.50.

At current rates, that gives you... about... 257.14 Icelandic Krona!

 

[WWGD]

At current rates, that gives you... about... 257.14 Icelandic Krona!

Seems like an additional few Kronos would be enough for a double shot Espresso.

 

[Oldman too]

Enough for a double shot Espresso.

Hey, I got this round. I'm celebrating my Bearth day.

 

[mfb]

The explanation is wrong.
The check was made out for $.002, which is the amount Randall Munroe was billed for. No amount of explanation on his part got through to the clueless Verizon employee he talked to.
$e^{i\pi} = -1$ is what is written, not $e^{2\pi}$. The explanation for the summation is correct.
The amount of the check is .002 - 1 + 1 = $0.002, or 2/10 of a cent.

Edit: Looks like several people beat me to the punch here.

No one was billed $.002, and Randall Munroe wasn't the Verizon customer.
George Vaccaro was billed $.002 per KB instead of 0.002 cents as advertised. Here is the original story

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[Oldman too]

 

[mfb]

If a diploid ("2") cell splits in half, it becomes a haploid ("1/2") cell.

2/2 = 1/2 in biology.

No wonder they struggle with these concepts.

 

[DennisN]

Gary Larson's "The Far Side" is a treasure trove of funny comics :

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

 

[artis]

Today I learned that Ireland is the richest country in the world...

because its capital has been doublin' every year for the last hundred years.

There are some in Belfast who might try to dispute this...

 

[Oldman too]

Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar and he doesn’t.

 

[Oldman too]

I have many chemistry jokes, but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction...

 

[artis]

I have many chemistry jokes, but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction...

On the other hand jokes about nuclear fission only work if enough good ones are concentrated at one spot...

A good stand up comedian on average can reach "prompt comicality" 10-15 mins into his routine, then he "bombs"...

 

[DrGreg]

I have many chemistry jokes, but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction...

All the best chemistry puns about noble gases are gone.

 

[pinball1970]

 

[WWGD]