Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

My wife says that I would be wrong for being in the forest.

And besides that, wrong is the default setting by the manufacturer.

 

[DrGreg]

I went to see a psychic. She asked me "what seems to be the problem." I replied "you tell me!"

(The above joke was recently posted in a serious thread, not here.)

When I'd booked to see a psychic, she had to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

(The above joke was recently posted in a serious thread, not here.)

When I'd booked to see a psychic, she had to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances.

Two psychics had an appointment, but they never met.

 

[Ibix]

Isn't there a Gary Larson cartoon with the First International Psychics Conference? Apparently everything went very well except for a slight tension stemming from the unforeseen faux pas of everyone wearing identical dresses.

 

[WWGD]

Isn't there a Gary Larson cartoon with the First International Psychics Conference? Apparently everything went very well except for a slight tension stemming from the unforeseen faux pas of everyone wearing identical dresses.

I can just imagine such meet, which gets tiresome, as every other statement is " I knew you were going to say that".

 

[DennisN]

Yes, accordions can be considered to be weapons...

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jedishrfu]

View attachment 300825

I think this depends on whether quantum entanglement is involved.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[wrobel]

where is it?

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 300887

where is it?

Try a reverse look up. The lower right address has a .ru extension.

 

[fresh_42]

Try a reverse look up. The lower right address has a .ru extension.

Yes, but the language isn't Cyrillic and the truck looks as if it drives on the left. The sign that indicates a zone for pedestrians is used in Europe. My guess: somewhere in the UK, or maybe Ireland.

 

[Halc]

truck looks as if it drives on the left

Body language means nothing. It's taking it wide for the tight turn.

Volvo truck in cz or vicinity. Unclear how wide their range of operation is.
Headquartered around Sokolov, Chech RepublicEdit: Found it:
https://www.google.com/maps/@50.082...4!1sXuuRrbyw9Qd67wr1zV9HGg!2e0!7i16384!8i8192

 

[chrishgv]

my neighbour came down knocking at my door at 3am this the morning. screaming and shouting like a total nut job.luckily for him i was already up practicing my bagpipes.

 

[WWGD]

Yes, but the language isn't Cyrillic and the truck looks as if it drives on the left. The sign that indicates a zone for pedestrians is used in Europe. My guess: somewhere in the UK, or maybe Ireland.

True, I just referred ( or should have) to the nationality of the taker of the pic.

 

[mfb]

Here is a joke from me, back when I was younger I learned some German in school, the basics. I knew that schwarz is black in German and "schwarze" means black as for a person, right @mfb ?
And "negger" translates from German as negro.

"Schwarze" is the plural, black people. "Neger" would be "negro", with two "g" it's not a German word.

In a compound word the first one should somehow make the second one more specific (e.g. "Segelboot", sail boat, is a specific type of boat). Combining "Schwarze" and "Neger" wouldn't make sense, but if we ignore that it should probably be "Schwarzenneger" to combine the two.

Many German last names end in "er", referring to a job or less commonly a place. English has the same "er" e.g. for mill -> Miller or New York -> New Yorker.

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

Reminds me of the time a bunch of plumbing equipment thieves stole all of the toilettes out of a police station. The cops were trying to find clues as to who did it but they didn't have a thing to go on.

 

[yucheng]

Lame jokes? End'em!

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 300911

Reminds me of the time a bunch of plumbing equipment thieves stole all of the toilettes out of a police station. The cops were trying to find clues as to who did it but they didn't have a thing to go on.

Or that time someone stole a load of dogs from a breeder. Police were looking for the culprits, but didn't have any leads.

 

[WWGD]

Body language means nothing. It's taking it wide for the tight turn.

View attachment 300888

Volvo truck in cz or vicinity. Unclear how wide their range of operation is.
Headquartered around Sokolov, Chech RepublicEdit: Found it:
https://www.google.com/maps/@50.082...4!1sXuuRrbyw9Qd67wr1zV9HGg!2e0!7i16384!8i8192

And we don't know if it's been photoshopped or changed in other ways.

 

[DennisN]

 

[phinds]

* As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of ... it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

* Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, "That can't be accurate."

* I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.

* Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation, "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.

* Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out, "You have reached your final destination."

* My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

 

[Steve4Physics]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

Do you think it works?