Collection of Lame Jokes
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Ouch...
I tried to persuade my wife we should name our son Luke so that when he was learning table manners I could say "use the fork, Luke", but she wasn't having it. Spoilsport.
I tried to persuade my wife we should name our son Luke so that when he was learning table manners I could say "use the fork, Luke", but she wasn't having it. Spoilsport.
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David Lewis
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In the Canary Islands, there is not one canary.
In the Virgin Islands, same thing.
Not one canary there either.
In the Virgin Islands, same thing.
Not one canary there either.
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What do you call a car driven by a sheep wearing a swimsuit?
A lamb bikini
A lamb bikini
hmmm27
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almost...davenn said:
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I checked a website to figure out the value of my car. Their first question was whether its tank is full or empty.
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Jodo
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Marilyn Monroe says to Albert Einstein " if we were to marry and have children they would be the smartest in the world and also the most beautiful in the world "
Albert replies " but what if they got my looks and your brain? "
Albert replies " but what if they got my looks and your brain? "
Jodo
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Albert Einstein challenges Mr. Bean to a knowledge contest.
Albert says " I will ask you a question. If you cannot supply me a correct answer, you owe me one dollar "
" Then you ask me a question and if I cannot supply a correct answer, I owe you 1000 dollars "
Mr. Bean agrees.
Albert asks Mr. Bean a question. After some time, Mr. Bean hands Albert a dollar.
Mr. Bean asks Albert " what animal has 4 legs but while it crosses the street it has 3 legs and when it gets to the other side it only has 2 legs? "
Albert thinks and thinks and then hands Mr. Bean 1000 dollars.
Albert replies " I don't know, what is it ?"
Mr. Bean hands Albert a dollar ... .
Albert says " I will ask you a question. If you cannot supply me a correct answer, you owe me one dollar "
" Then you ask me a question and if I cannot supply a correct answer, I owe you 1000 dollars "
Mr. Bean agrees.
Albert asks Mr. Bean a question. After some time, Mr. Bean hands Albert a dollar.
Mr. Bean asks Albert " what animal has 4 legs but while it crosses the street it has 3 legs and when it gets to the other side it only has 2 legs? "
Albert thinks and thinks and then hands Mr. Bean 1000 dollars.
Albert replies " I don't know, what is it ?"
Mr. Bean hands Albert a dollar ... .
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DennisN
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I never understood that song. I mean, I can see how they'd make the world a bit flatter, but how do they increase the world's angular momentum?fresh_42 said:
Oh, of course! They sit down. Silly me.
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When Chuck Norris does a pushup he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the Earth do… no wait a minute, it is both!WWGD said:
DennisN
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Who am I to argue with an astrophysicist? ##{}^*)## ##{}^*)## Brian May wrote that song.strangerep said: