Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes
Click For Summary
The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #121
Did you hear about the Mexican fireman who named his kids Jose and Hose B?
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #122
Not funny but noteworthy.

It seems that our sleepy town has hit the big time. We have had three murders in less than a month with all showing the same MO: The bodies were all found in the bathtub and covered with milk. The police suspect that we have a cereal killer.
 
  • #123
Thanks to Ivan, I've only just discovered this thread, but:

Why must you not wear Ukranian underpants?
Chernobyl Fallout! :blushing:
 
Last edited:
  • #124
Chernobyl is in Ukraine :-p Now what u've written is really LAME...

Daniel.
 
  • #125
Oops! I really should have thought of that!

Well, it must be a really old joke...
 
  • #127
Heh yes, I'll edit the post to be more politically accurate.

Ta for the heads up!
 
  • #128
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

A: "Robin, get in the car."
 
  • #129
What did St Patrick say as he was driving all the snakes out of Ireland?

"Are you alright there in the back?"
 
  • #130
It seems that Tibetans are quite the talkers. A Tibetan friend was just telling me that everywhere you go there it's yak, yak, yak.
 
  • #131
A burglar was in a dark house. When he picked up the T.V. a voice said "Jesus is watching you." He dropped the T.V. and whirled around his flashlight looking for someone without any luck. After picking up the VCR the voice said once again "Jesus is watching you." He dropped the VCR and demanded "Who said that?" A voice in the back of the room said "Me, Clarence!" He spotted a parrot with the flashlight and said "Did you say that?" Clarence acknowledged. The burglar then asked "Who would name a Parrot Clarence?" To which Clarence replied "The same guy who named the rottweiller Jesus!"
 
  • #132
Did you hear about the lady who swallowed the Gillette razor blade?






She not only gave herself a hysterectomy, an appendectomy and a tonsillectomy; she also castrated her husband, circumcised her lover, took two fingers off a casual acquaintance, gave the minister a hairlip... and still had five shaves left.
 
  • #133
WHAT? No more lame jokes? What's the world coming too.

Did you hear about the latest in thrill seeking gadgets? Since skydiving has been taken nearly to its ultimate limit with BASE jumping, there was only one thing left to do. The newest parachutes only open on impact.
 
  • #134
This was the funniest thread ever.

Two elephants were walking down the beach, one turned to the other and said "Hey, I forgot my trunks"

Two muffins were gettin baked in the oven. One turned to ther other and said "Hey, its ****in hot in here", to which the other replied "Holy ****! A talking muffin!"

Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
 
  • #135
Hurkyl said:
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?

that is sick and uncalled for, which makes it great.

Fibonacci
 
  • #136
What's red and invisible?






No tomatoes!
 
  • #137
A little girl is walking down along the docks one day. Piers actually, but anyway... She sees a pirate with a peg leg, hook hand and patch over one eye. Goes like this:

Girl: Mr. Pirate, why do you have a peg leg?
Pirate: Arrrrr! You see me lassie, I was standing on deck when large wave came about and flipped me into the see. It was then that a great shark bit me leg off. One of me crew pulled me aboard and I just stuck a broom stick handle on the end of me stump.

Girl: Ok Mr. Pirate, why do you have a hook hand?
Pirate: Arrrrrrrrr. I was watching me cook sharpen his knives and one of the knives slipped out of his hand and chopped me hand right off. I just used the biggest fishing hook we had and that's how I got me hook.

Girl: Ok Mr. Pirate, but how did you get the patch on your eye?
Pirate: Arrrrrr. I was look'n up at me flag to see which way the wind was from and a big bird flew over and pooped in me eye.
Girl: Was it a poison bird or something?
Pirate: Arrrrrrr. No, it was me first day with me hook!
 
  • #138
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

Why did the hampster fall out of the tree?

It was stapled to the monkey.


I'm sorry but, I still can't stop laughing at that one :D
 
  • #139
How do you get a clown off a swing?



Hit it in the face with an axe.
 
  • #140
What would you call Postman Pat if he became unemployed?





Pat.


PS
 
  • #141
In a news story, it was mentioned that someone at Ebay sold a picture of Jesus. It was actually signed by Jesus! :smile: :smile: :smile:
 
  • #142
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #143
"Hello, is this the Sheriff's office?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Virgil Smith. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff's deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

The phone rings at Virgil's house.

"Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"

"Yep!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Happy Birthday, buddy!"
 
  • Like
Likes WWGD and Stavros Kiri
  • #144
Lame jokes huh? Everything in the science joke thread :smile:
 
  • #145
Q. How do they make Alpha-Bits?
A. They use a cereal printer.

Ivan Seeking, you reminded me of this old one.
 
  • #146
From Pulp Fiction:

One day there was these three tomatoes walking down the street, a mama tomato, a daddy tomato and a baby tomato. the baby tomato was walking too slow, so the daddy tomato went back, stepped on him and said ketchup!
 
  • #147
The trial of Saddam Hussein ended today.

He was sentenced to a weekend of hunting with Dick Cheney.
 
  • #148
Why did the fox cross the road?

To eat the chicken.
 
  • #149
There was a story in the newspaper about a 4ft fortune teller who escaped from jail. The headline was "Small medium at large"
 
  • #150
jimmy p said:
There was a story in the newspaper about a 4ft fortune teller who escaped from jail. The headline was "Small medium at large"
ROFLCOPTERS! This one deserves a 3x3!

:smile::smile::smile:
:smile::smile::smile:
:smile::smile::smile:
And the Jose and Hose B one!
:smile::smile::smile:
:smile::smile::smile:
:smile::smile::smile:
 

Similar threads

  • · Replies 459 ·
16
Replies
459
Views
33K
  • · Replies 57 ·
2
Replies
57
Views
8K
  • · Replies 3 ·
Replies
3
Views
234
  • · Replies 402 ·
14
Replies
402
Views
39K
  • · Replies 7 ·
Replies
7
Views
3K
  • · Replies 15 ·
Replies
15
Views
5K
  • · Replies 1 ·
Replies
1
Views
3K
  • · Replies 21 ·
Replies
21
Views
3K
  • · Replies 5 ·
Replies
5
Views
2K
  • · Replies 185 ·
7
Replies
185
Views
10K