Collection of Lame Jokes

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BillTre said:
According to one old Star Trek novel the Time Being is a blubbery hippopotamus-like creature. It has no muscle tone at all because it never does anything for itself - other people do things for the Time Being.
 
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Can you believe it? Someone has glued my pack of cards together! I can't deal with this.
 
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berkeman said:
From Facebook today:

View attachment 328679
I used to walk to work across the bridge over the lake in St James' Park (picture). One morning I turned the corner on to the bridge and saw a woman coming the other way talking on her phone. I also saw a goose that had just taken off from the lake. The bridge is low with fairly high guard rails, and water fowl taking off have to make quite an early decision if they're going over or under. The goose had committed to "over", presumably before noticing the woman, and was on a collision course with absolutely no manoeuvring room or airspeed to play with, and the woman was phone zombied. I'm not sure I actually had time to yell anything, but what flashed across my brain was the supremely unhelpful comment "I can't yell duck, it's a goose".

(Fortunately the bird scraped together enough altitude to merely rearrange the woman's hair with its belly feathers, and she just kind of flinched and carried on her conversation...)
 
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Ibix said:
Can you believe it? Someone has glued my pack of cards together! I can't deal with this.
Took me four times??!!
 
phinds said:
Me too, dammit !
That makes me feel a little better.
 
berkeman said:
Yep, been there and done that. Except usually in my case it was Marketing instead of Designer... :wink:
Mine was a manager who didn't muzzle me and instead asked me to describe the features to another group within the company. Yeah, that didn't end well. :rolleyes:
 
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Borg said:
Mine was a manager who didn't muzzle me and instead asked me to describe the features to another group within the company. Yeah, that didn't end well. :rolleyes:
Something like this? :smile:

 
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i didn't muzzle myself when I saw this guy wearing a "Harvard" sweater and mumbled to myself, while obviously staring at the sweater, apparently too loud: " Yeah, right".
 
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LOL, I saw this posted in a local rural Silicon Valley Facebook group today. Happy 4th of July! :wink:

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berkeman said:
LOL, I saw this posted in a local rural Silicon Valley Facebook group today. Happy 4th of July! :wink:

View attachment 328723
How does one do something 24/7 when confining it to one day?
 
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Halc said:
How does one do something 24/7 when confining it to one day?
In some places around here in Silicon Valley (Oakland especially), it goes on for several days straight.
 
It's like my birthday. Technically, it's centred on one day, but I welcome celebrations 24/7 all week.
 
DaveC426913 said:
It's like my birthday. Technically, it's centred on one day, but I welcome celebrations 24/7 all week.
8760 not a thing yet?
 
Halc said:
How does one do something 24/7 when confining it to one day?

berkeman said:
In some places around here in Silicon Valley (Oakland especially), it goes on for several days straight.

In San Francisco leading up to and especially during the heart of the pandemic it was an all year thing. There would be peaks of activity on holidays or if a local sports team won but there would also be skyrockets and loud explosions pretty much every night for no apparent reason. It seems to have calmed down a lot lately. I don't know why.
 
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