Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

Bruno Mars lives in neptune nj, drives a Saturn and is sponsored by Milky Way.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[dextercioby]

Why was the mushroom asked to come to the party? Because he was a fun guy.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

Ah, the good old days.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

View attachment 328309

Not the real painting though:

 

[BillTre]

There were more than one version of the same basic image.
wikipedia:

Munch created two versions in paint and two in pastels, as well as a lithograph stone from which several prints survive. Both painted versions have been stolen, but since recovered. In 2012, one of the pastel versions commanded the at-the-time highest nominal price paid for an artwork at a public auction.

 

[WWGD]

Again. I rarely go out to eat. Today, a hair on my salad. " I said Romaine, not Rogaine".

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 328329

I preferred race driving. That makes a lot more fun, for the passenger (kid) as for the driver (me).

 

[WWGD]

Weird conversation at other table.
" Let me have this to go, please"
" You wanna box for it?"
" No, you keep it, I don't want to fight ."

 

[Borg]

My favorite response at the doctor's office when they ask if I'm allergic to anything.

Just poison.

 

[davenn]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

My favorite response at the doctor's office when they ask if I'm allergic to anything.

Just poison.

Well, other than the obvious poisons, anything could become poisonous to you if you are allergic to it.

 

[Ibix]

Just seen a guy with a t-shirt saying "I don't snore, I dream I'm a motorcycle".

 

[Ibix]

My favorite response at the doctor's office when they ask if I'm allergic to anything.

Just poison.

A friend who is a retired GP claimed that amputation at the neck solved most complaints, apart from a slight attack of death.

 

[Ibix]

Do you think coffins made out of glass will catch on?

Remains to be seen.

 

[Ibix]

I was going to meet a girl I've been dating at the gym this morning, but she didn't show up. I don't think we're going to work out.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[jack action]

Me: The Earth isn't flat

Fiat Earther: Correct

Me: Huh?

Fiat Earther: It's the shape of an Italian car

Me: What?

Fiat Earther: You read my name wrong, didn't you?

 

[phinds]

This just in from Texas: Local weather station has posted a recipe for how to cook lasagna in your mailbox.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[topsquark]

-Dan

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 328460
-Dan

Poor old guy with arthritis was shot in downtown L.A, for flashing the wrong signs.