Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #17,731
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless guy said.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting
in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with
you for doing that?
I said, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what
a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
 
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Physics news on Phys.org
  • #17,732
1000010876.jpg
 
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  • #17,733
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  • #17,734
1703022261930.png
 
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  • #17,735
1703045365965.png
 
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  • #17,736
IMG_0639.jpg
 
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  • #17,737
What's the worst thing about an ancient history class?
The teachers tend to Babylon.
 
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  • #17,738
  • #17,739
Screenshot 2023-12-20 at 8.48.11 AM.png
 
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  • #17,740
FB_IMG_1703101517748.jpg
 
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  • #17,741
Screenshot_20231220_162100_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #17,742
Screenshot_20231220_170929_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #17,743
Screenshot_20231220_170723_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #17,744
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?....................................... 'Cause the cow's got the udder.

What do you do with an elephant with three balls?..........................Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.

(these are my best ones, though, sorry)
 
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  • #17,745
From Facebook today... :smile:

1703170886156.png
 
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  • #17,746
dextercioby said:
I guess American and British computers must have completely different kinds of chips inside.
 
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  • #17,747
jtbell said:
I guess American and British computers must have completely different kinds of chips inside.
British computers have crisps inside.

Or is it "American computers have fries inside"?
 
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  • #17,748
jtbell said:
I guess American and British computers must have completely different kinds of chips inside.
I keep mine in my shoulder chip or crisp. A giant one. Or so they tell me.
 
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  • #17,749
IMG_0377.jpeg
 
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  • #17,750
Screenshot_20231220_170429_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #17,751
Screenshot_20231220_170126_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #17,752
I was once caught stealing an advent calendar.

I got 25 days.
 
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  • #17,753
  • #17,754
DrGreg said:
I was once caught stealing an advent calendar.

I got 25 days.
Judge: I sentence you to a $100 fine for breaking into parking meters.
Accused: Is it payable in quarters?
 
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  • #17,755
1703192668680.png
 
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  • #17,756
Screenshot_20231220_170105_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
  • #17,757
Screenshot_20231220_170707_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
  • #17,758
Screenshot_20231220_170610_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
  • #17,760
Ibix said:
The same way you did in #17,751, at a guess...
Not anymore, I guess.
 
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