Collection of Lame Jokes

[nuuskur]

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 352023

Not any more it ain't necessarily so no more....



Dear Moderators: This video is just a bit political, but probably not really objectionable vis a vis forum guidelines; please keep or delete at your discretion.

 

[jtbell]

Quoth the raven at the campfire, once upon a midnight dreary:

"Never s'mores."

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

How do you make a man appreciate art?
Put it on the middle of a golf course.

 

[Swamp Thing]

Spoiler

Myself when young did eagerly frequent
Doctor and saint, and heard great argument
About it and about: but evermore
Came out by the same door as in I went.
-- Omar Khayyam, The Rubaiyyat[/size]

Myself when young did eagerly check out
Grifter and troll, and heard great argument
About it and about: but evermore
Swiped away as sure as on I tapped.

 

[topsquark]

I eat my peas with honey;
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife!
(Anon)

-Dan

 

[Ibix]

I eat my peas with honey;
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife!
(Anon)

-Dan

Ogden Nash, I think.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

I asked a hard of hearing caddy for a Sand Wedge. He brought me a Turkey on Rye.

 

[Swamp Thing]

There is a YouTuber with a channel called CruisingTheCut, all about canal boating. The channel is nice in many ways, one of them being his thumbnail puns.

For example, I rather like this recent one:

"I went on a cruise to Norway on a GIGANTIC ship (P&O Iona, September 2024)"

 

[phinds]

I'm SO glad I'm married because I used to just smash into the backs of cars before I had someone to scream and gasp when a car a thousand feet ahead of me hit the brakes.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Mayhem]

I'm SO glad I'm married because I used to just smash into the backs of cars before I had someone to scream and gasp when a car a thousand feet ahead of me hit the brakes.

Smashing random trunks is indeed an endeavor reserved for the unmarried.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

 

[jtbell]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

The comedian on stage struggles for savoir fare. The guy who forgot his money struggles for Subway fare.

 

[jtbell]

"What do you get when you cross Frankenstein with the Invisible Man?"

"I don't know, but it can't be much to look at."

 

[Orodruin]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DrGreg]

For sale: Second hand vacuum. No pressure.*

I'm getting rid of it because all it does is gather dust.

*That works for barometers, too.

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 352216

The only way Microsoft could come up with something that doesn't suck is if they manufactured vaccuum cleaners.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

"I enjoy watching shows at the comedy club, but I don't like to eat dinner there."

"Why not?"

"The food tastes funny."

 

[nuuskur]

I have no idea why a dinosaur is used to represent a mathematician in this diagram. Are we becoming dinosaurs? *nervous laughter*