Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes
Join the discussion
Registration is free. Ask a follow-up in this thread, or start your own.
Sign up Log in
24,334 replies · 3M views
Yes, sorry that the copy/paste picture is a bit fuzzy. (oops, sorry for the pun) :smile:
 
Physics news on Phys.org
When did Superman's foster parents, on their farm in Smallville, realize that they had a special kid on their hands?

When he started running faster than a speeding pullet.
 
Last edited:
Reply
  • Haha
Likes   Reactions: nuuskur and edwardII
1735705902925.png
 
Reply
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: edwardII, jtbell, nuuskur and 2 others
A snail calls the police to say he has just been mugged by two slugs. They ask him to give more details about what exactly happened.

"I don't know, I can't remember too much -- it all happened so fast!"

"OK, just try to remember anything that might help".

"Well, I do know it was two homeless guys".
 
Reply
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: DennisN, edwardII, Ibix and 3 others
This stirred up a memory from studying Russian a long time ago.

"I didn't do anything" translates as «Я ничего не сделал», which word for word says "I nothing not did."
 
Even better: "Nobody said anything" = «Никто ничего не сказал» = "Nobody nothing not said." o0)

Now that I think of it, Spanish is similar. "I didn't do anything" = "No hice nada".
 
1735944249783.png


Reminds me of Space Force: "It is great to be black on the moon... uh, back on the moon."
 
Reply
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: BillTre, phinds, DennisN and 1 other person
I saw something about the so-called "Mothman of Point Pleasant". It made me wonder why they didn't just put out a giant lightbulb.
 
Ivan Seeking said:
I saw something about the so-called "Mothman of Point Pleasant". It made me wonder why they didn't just put out a giant lightbulb.
"Doctor, doctor, you have to help me! I think I'm a moth!"
"Sir, I'm a dentist not a psychiatrist."
"I know, but your light was on."
 
Reply
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: edwardII, gmax137, jtbell and 1 other person
Surströmming ?


1735991307306.png


"During the production of surströmming, just enough salt is used to prevent the raw herring from rotting while allowing it to ferment. A fermentation process of at least six months gives the fish its characteristic strong smell and somewhat acidic taste." (Wikipedia)
 
Sharks and humans are mutually edible. We like them and they like us.
 

Similar threads

Collection of Science Fiction jokes
  • DennisN
  • · Replies 17 ·
  • Science Fiction and Fantasy Media
Replies
17
Are All the Joke Threads Now Called 'Collection of Jokes'?
  • BillTre
  • · Replies 4 ·
  • Feedback and Announcements
Replies
4
Challenge MIT Announces the Largest Collection of Olympiad Math Problems
  • jedishrfu
  • · Replies 2 ·
  • General Math
Replies
2
My watch collection with Xeric and inherited Rolex
  • BadgerBadger92
  • · Replies 1 ·
  • General Discussion
Replies
1
Undergrad Can one find a matrix that's 'unique' to a collection of eigenvectors?
  • Sciencemaster
  • · Replies 33 ·
  • Linear and Abstract Algebra
2
Replies
33
Lame Jokes thread approaching one million views
  • jtbell
  • · Replies 188 ·
  • Feedback and Announcements
7
Replies
188
C/C++ C++ Jokes: A Collection of Funny Coding Stories
  • smart_worker
  • · Replies 7 ·
  • AI and Computer Science
Replies
7
Undergrad Collection of finite unions of half-open intervals form an algebra
  • psie
  • · Replies 3 ·
  • Topology and Analysis
Replies
3
Undergrad What is the Uncertainty in the Total Weight of a Collection of Similar Items?
  • JT Smith
  • · Replies 12 ·
  • Quantum Physics
Replies
12
Can passive heat collection be used to heat water to very high temperatures?
  • russellsh2
  • · Replies 8 ·
  • Mechanical Engineering
Replies
8