Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

I have a pen that can write underwater.

It can write other words too.

Mine can write upside down. And other words too.

 

[DaveC426913]

"Watch out! I know Fung Fu and Karate and Tai Chi and dozen other Chinese words!"

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 367219

But doesn't it take just one (mis)step to fall down a staircase?

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 367218

Actually, it's not as crazy as it may seem at first glance. Google for "mashed potato recipe" or "how to make mashed potatoes" and you'll find that it involves milk, butter and maybe sour cream.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jbriggs444]

View attachment 367320

They just haven't been exposed to an orthogonal instruction set.

https://www.stromasys.com/resources/understanding-the-vax-processors-architecture/

 

[berkeman]

https://www.amazon.com/Schylling-PBG-Paddle-Ball-Game/dp/B000MVE52Q?tag=pfamazon01-20

 

[256bits]

View attachment 367320

Looks like from Canada owing to the third brake light.
Any other jurisdictions have that?

 

[256bits]

View attachment 367178

Does she make him sleep at the foot of the bed?

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

Looks like from Canada owing to the third brake light.
Any other jurisdictions have that?

pretty standard around the world these days

 

[fresh_42]

Don't mess with people who are fresh, cheerful, and full of energy in the morning. These psychopaths have nothing to lose.

 

[jack action]

Judge: «Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?»

Me: «I choose "dare", your honor!»

 

[jack action]

My anestheosiologist offered gas or hits with a boat paddle.

It was an Ether-Oar choice.

 

[fresh_42]

A gynecologist has retrained as a painter.

"How's the new guy doing?"

"That guy's amazing! Yesterday he painted the whole hallway through the letterbox slot."

 

[DaveC426913]

The version I heard was an auto mechanic who scored 150% on his practical exam.

Said the instructor: "I had to give you the extra 50% for reassembling the engine entirely through the tailpipe."

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 367345

And all this without flowing through Utah.

 

[phinds]

View attachment 367345

 

[WWGD]

Despite being confused by the title, dyslexics love Backstreet Boys' "Larger than File".

 

[256bits]

You want lame

Bazooka Joe Bubble Gum had a joke in every pack of gum
https://assets1.cbsnewsstatic.com/h...-a642-11e2-a3f0-029118418759/image590164x.jpg

https://www.animationxpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Adco1-jumbo.jpg

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

Nostradamus knew I was going to make this joke.

 

[jtbell]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

It's not how many times you fall that matters, but how many times you get back up!

That's not how an alcohol test works. Please get into the police car.

 

[fresh_42]