Collection of Lame Jokes

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Discussion Overview

The thread centers around sharing and enjoying lame jokes, with participants contributing various humorous quips and puns. The discussion explores the nature of humor, particularly focusing on jokes that are intentionally corny or groan-inducing.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants share their favorite lame jokes, such as the classic "Why did the chicken cross the road?" and variations on animal-related humor.
  • Others express differing opinions on the quality of certain jokes, with some finding them hilarious while others consider them unfunny or "lame." For example, one participant finds a specific horse joke funny, while another insists it doesn't qualify as lame.
  • A few jokes incorporate wordplay and puns, such as the "frayed knot" joke and the "super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis" joke, which elicit mixed reactions.
  • There are discussions about surreal humor, with some participants questioning the nature of certain jokes and their classification as humor, such as the "fish" response to a lightbulb question.
  • Participants also engage in playful banter about the quality of jokes and the nature of humor itself, with some joking about the reactions to their contributions.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

There is no clear consensus on what constitutes a "lame" joke, as participants express a range of opinions on the humor shared. Some jokes are appreciated by certain individuals while others find them lacking, indicating a diversity of taste in humor.

Contextual Notes

Some jokes rely on specific cultural references or wordplay that may not be universally understood, leading to varied interpretations among participants.

  • #241
jimmysnyder said:
Was he the one who said "Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it"?

:smile: I'm a sucker for dumb jokes.
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #242
Did you hear the one about the two peanuts that got on the subway?

One of them was assaulted.

Lame, but cute.
 
  • #243
enigma said:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at it and asks: "So, why the long face?"

:smile:
 
  • #244
2 pirates are stranded on an island with only one bottle of water. They decide to ration it out between the two of them. One pirate points to the bottle and explains that he gets this half and that the other one gets the other half. In the morning the first pirate finds that all the water is gone. Angry, he demands an explanation from the other pirate. The other pirate says, "I had to go through your half of the bottle to get to mine".
 
  • #245
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
 
  • #246
bassplayer142 said:
2 pirates are stranded on an island with only one bottle of water. They decide to ration it out between the two of them. One pirate points to the bottle and explains that he gets this half and that the other one gets the other half. In the morning the first pirate finds that all the water is gone. Angry, he demands an explanation from the other pirate. The other pirate says, "I had to go through your half of the bottle to get to mine".
Then they discovered a second bottle of water. The first pirate said "Remember, the top half is yours and the bottom half is mine.". The next morning, all the water was gone again and there was a straw in the bottle.
 
  • #247
Kurdt said:
A log cabin. Hilarious :smile:

No, it's a house boat: ln(cabin)+c. You really went along with that joke.
 
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  • #248
I had to give the cat a bath today and I still can't get all of the hair out of my mouth.
 
  • #249
• Someone needled a well-known wit: "I had your wife, without paying a penny". He replied: "It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?"

• An Abderite sees a eunuch talking with a woman and asks him if she's his wife. The guy responds that a eunuch is unable to have a wife. "Ah, so she's your daughter? "

• A misogynist is attending to the burial of his wife, who has just died, when someone asks: "Who is it who rests in peace here?". He answers: "Me, now that I'm rid of her!"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7725079.stm

The 265 jokes in Philogelos are attributed to a pair of jokers called Hierocles and Philagrius, about whom very little is known.
...
The book has been translated by William Berg, an American professor of Classics.

"The text of Philogelos comes to us from several manuscripts ranging from the 11th to the 15th Centuries," Berg said.

"All of them trace back to an earlier original, probably - judging from the content and language - from the 4th Century."
 
  • #250
What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt.
 
  • #251
What kind of pants do the mario bros wear?

Denim, denim, denim.
 
  • #252
A blond takes three years to finally complete a jigsaw puzzle. A friend says: wow that was a long time. The blond replied: it says 8 to 10 years on the box.
 
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  • #253
I thought this video was HILARIOUS! It has some mild vulgarity, so might be NSFW.



One of the best lines of the song:
Q: "What's the opposite of ln(x)?"

A: "Duraflame, the unnatural log"
 
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  • #254
When a news report showed a street sweeper that had been retrofitted as a snow plow, I couldn't help but notice: It's December and the plowers are brooming.
 
  • #255
A plane is about to crash

A woman jumps up and says "Before i doe i want to be treated like a real woman. Who will treat me like a woman?"

A man jumps up, take off his top and say "Here iron this"
 
  • #256
Did you hear about the farmer that got an STD?
It turns out he was allergic to sheep. xD


What's cheese that's not yours?
NACHO cheese!
 
  • #257
This thread has been getting absolutely hammered for days now. Does anyone know why?

edit: It comes up third in a google search for "lame jokes". Maybe that explains it?
 
  • #258
A 3-legged dog goes into a bar and puts his one front paw up on the bar. The bartender asks "what can do for you?" The dog say "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"
 
  • #259
A serial killer is walking in the woods in the middle of the night with his next victim. The victim looks up at him and says, "I'm s-s-s-scared."
The serial killer replies,
"You're scared? I have to walk back by myself."
 
  • #260
did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed the missionary in the jungle?
 
  • #261
How does a lamb recognise its mummy?

It knows the baah code
 
  • #262
Two electrons are walking down the street.

The first one stops and says 'Oh, no! I think I've lost an electron!"
The second one says 'are you sure?'
The first one says 'Yeah, I'm positive'

*Ba doom doom tish*
 
  • #263
A birthday card sent to dad.

Front of card:
Did you hear about the 80 year old man who ran naked through a flower show?

Inside:
He won an award for best dried arrangement.
 
  • #264
A duck walks into a bar and sits down. Bartender asks what he'll have and he asks if they have any grapes. The bartender says: "No, we don't have any grapes." The next day the same duck walks into the same bar and sits down. Bartender asks what he'll have and he asks if they have any grapes. The bartender clearly annoyed says: "No, we don't have any grapes!" The third day the same duck walks into the same bar and sits down. Bartender asks what he'll have and again he asks if they have any grapes. The bartender VERY annoyed says: "No, we don't have any damn grapes!" The third day the same duck walks into the same bar and sits down. Bartender asks what he'll have and yes, again, he asks if they have any grapes. The bartender is really p!ssed this time and says: "No, we don't have any friggin grapes. If you come in here one more time and ask for grapes I'll nail your little webbed feet to the floor. Now get out of here!" The very next day the same duck walks into the same bar and asks the same bartender: "Do you have any nails?" The bartender looks a bit confused and replies: NO. The duck says: "Good, do you have any grapes?"
 
  • #265
Yes we can!

- American Canning Company
 
  • #266
A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. Bartender says, "What is this, some kinda joke?"
 
  • #267
What is blue and white and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you?


A fridge wearing a denim jacket :smile:
 
  • #268
A human head was found floating down the river today. It could be heard singing:
"Ain't got no body, that I can depend on..."
 
  • #269
What's black and white with wheels?

...

A zebra (I lied about the wheels)
 
  • #270
Did you hear that the circus was in town? It's in tents.

What was Beethevon's favorite fruit? Bananananaaaaaa ( OOPS MY BAD)

I much prefer the former.

Kind of a joke: Can I be your pokemon? Because I want to peek-atch-you
 
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