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Yeah, Dave, I didn't get that one either.DaveC426913 said:
Collection of Lame Jokes
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Stavros Kiri
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DaveC426913 said:
phinds said:
He was carrying people on his neck! Didn't you get it?
DaveC426913
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Ah! No, I didn't.Stavros Kiri said:
Stavros Kiri
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Took me some time too, but I thought it qualified as a good "groaner" ...DaveC426913 said:
(See also #3503)
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Aufbauwerk 2045
Stavros Kiri said:
I also didn't get it right away. An Englishman explained it to me. He understood it instantly. Think about why the brothers, who are from Scotland, carried people instead of buying a vehicle.
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The problem was in the original wording. It talked of "taking people' and not 'carrying people'. I think you would need to be psychic to have got it with that word wrong.Aufbauwerk 2045 said:
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collinsmark said:Why would cows be eating chickens in the first place? It just doesn't make sense. What is going on around me in this world?!
Stavros Kiri
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Wow! I'm either psychic!(?) ... or I actually evaluated the whole sentence, which talked about transportation business:sophiecentaur said:The problem was in the original wording. It talked of "taking people' and not 'carrying people'. I think you would need to be psychic to have got it with that word wrong.
I think it's fairly clear.Aufbauwerk 2045 said:
[but not to say the same about the neck part, I agree ...]
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What will they think of next?
"Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan."
"Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan."
Stavros Kiri
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collinsmark said:Why would cows be eating chickens in the first place? It just doesn't make sense. What is going on around me in this world?!
jtbell said:
+ check this out!:
It's called "Evolution" ... so to speak ...
Buckleymanor
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Maybe they were traveling at a breakneck speed.Stavros Kiri said:
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jtbell said:
Stavros Kiri said:
Oh, my.
Stavros Kiri
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... or breakneck weight ...Buckleymanor said:
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so profound ! 
Stavros Kiri
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Then that's a "check" (√) formation, not a V formation ...davenn said:
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Stavros Kiri
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Rare funny video (Jim Carrey in his first steps ...):
And ... a later one:
And ... a later one:
Buckleymanor
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What do you call a Bear that has no teeth.http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...06005C6C928C5454D10E06005C6C928C545&FORM=VIRE
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The pessimist sees only darkness in a tunnel.
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
The realist recognizes the light is an oncoming train.
The train driver sees three idiots on the track.
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
The realist recognizes the light is an oncoming train.
The train driver sees three idiots on the track.
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Stavros Kiri
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What if the realist is the optimist!? Then there is only two idiots!fresh_42 said:
Another similar:
The pessimist sees that the train has descended into the tunnel.
The optimist sees that it will come back out rising again.
The smart train driver has secretly abandoned the train inside the downhill tunnel, because it has no brakes!
Question: How many people inside the train wear tie?
Answer: Soon it won't matter!
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Soon everyone will wear one.Stavros Kiri said:Another similar:
The pessimist sees that the train has descended into the tunnel.
The optimist sees that it will come back out rising again.
The smart train driver has secretly abandoned the train inside the downhill tunnel, because it has no breaks!
Question: How many people inside the train wear tie?
Answer: Soon it won't matter!
Gold Member
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Why would the driver abandon the train if it's not broken? 
Stavros Kiri
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Without brakes and downhill (possibly with turns) it would (could) get off track soon ... and he is a whimp! ... + that was a joke! ...Borg said:Why would the driver abandon the train if it's not broken?
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You mean "without brakes"?Stavros Kiri said:
Stavros Kiri
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Ooups! Typo, or mispelling. Thanks!Borg said:You mean "without brakes"?
Out of edit time. Fixing here:Stavros Kiri said:
Stavros Kiri said:
+ (edit) thanks to mentor who fixed the original too.
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The CBS Morning News had a report today on the Oakland Raiders football team's forthcoming move to Las Vegas:
"The Arc of the Lost Raiders"
"The Arc of the Lost Raiders"
Stavros Kiri
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You mean "Ark"?jtbell said:
With ark it will take them forever to get there ..., + on dry land?! ... It would be better if they had money to buy plane tickets! ...
Aufbauwerk 2045
This one I think is by Jay Leno.
Did you hear about the TSA's new slogan? "We handle more junk than eBay!"
Did you hear about the TSA's new slogan? "We handle more junk than eBay!"
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Recently in a bar:
"A beer, please!"
"Non-alcoholic?"
"No, just lactose-free."
"Are you kidding?"
"And who began with?"
"A beer, please!"
"Non-alcoholic?"
"No, just lactose-free."
"Are you kidding?"
"And who began with?"