Collection of Lame Jokes

[ISamson]

This might not be the right forum for this, but anyway...

P.S. Sorry for the bad quality.

 

[davenn]

uh huh
Have spent many a freezing winter nite at the scope and camera

 

[davenn]

hahaha ... explains so much ...

 

[ISamson]

Why did the chicken cross the road?Because it wanted to go to McDonald's to eat some nuggets.

 

[ISamson]

hahaha ... explains so much ...

View attachment 212571

Let themselves go from where?

 

[Borg]

Let themselves go from where?

Letting oneself go is an idiom that means to not care about your weight.

 

[ISamson]

Letting oneself go is an idiom that means to not care about your weight.

Thanks.

 

[jtbell]

Did you hear about the band of cannibals who captured the Lord of the Jungle? Afterwards, their feasts became insufferable because they insisted on playing the Tarzan's tripes forever.

 

[stoomart]

Did you hear about the band of cannibals who captured the Lord of the Jungle? Afterwards, their feasts became insufferable because they insisted on playing the Tarzan's tripes forever.

That one’s a stretch.

 

[Ibix]

That one’s a stretch.

Stretched over a soundbox, presumably.

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

That one’s a stretch.

Didn't strike a cord with me either.

 

[256bits]

Didn't strike a cord with me either.

Although, the percussionists did take a lot of ribbing.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

"With this new App on your smartphone you can pretend you were at home!"
"Great. May I see the office version?"

 

[davenn]

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

I asked about the NSA once, and was told there is No Such Agency.

 

[Ibix]

Before judging someone, first walk a mile in their shoes.

That way you're a mile ahead and you've got their shoes.

 

[Ibix]

I asked about the NSA once, and was told there is No Such Agency.

But there Clearly Is A Fairly Big Item in the budget for it.

 

[fresh_42]

I asked about the NSA once, and was told there is No Such Agency.

I had a phone call this morning with my friend. I placed a lot of crucial words in it, you know, bomb, Jihad and some more of this kind. What shall I say. It's fall, the potatoes, cucumbers, onions and carrots are all harvested, and someone had to dig the garden ...

 

[Ibix]

I had a phone call this morning with my friend. I placed a lot of crucial words in it, you know, bomb, Jihad and some more of this kind. What shall I say. It's fall, the potatoes, cucumbers, onions and carrots are all harvested, and someone had to dig the garden ...

See also waaaay back on page 8

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I had a phone call this morning with my friend. I placed a lot of crucial words in it, you know, bomb, Jihad and some more of this kind. What shall I say. It's fall, the potatoes, cucumbers, onions and carrots are all harvested, and someone had to dig the garden ...

"They" always do a great job too! Guaranteed. (I hope the rest of the people here realize the answer to the question "Who's "They"?" ...)

 

[davenn]

yikeessss ... think I would be getting off the plane, knowing that !

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

"How did the argument end that you had with her last night?"
"Oh, it ended up with her on her knees, robbing towards me!"
"Wow! What did she say?"
"You cannot hide forever under the table, coward!"

 

[mfb]

Just 366 options for the password, how bad can it be?

 

[Borg]

Just 366 options for the password, how bad can it be?

Unless he doesn't remember the year either.

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

This is why I got married on Valentine's Day. The whole sexual-organs-of-plants industry reminded me every year.

 

[fresh_42]

This is why I got married on Valentine's Day. The whole sexual-organs-of-plants industry reminded me every year.

Lol, me, too. But only because an appointment on Friday 2/13 wasn't available. But it didn't help anyway.

 

[DrGreg]

...an appointment on Friday 2/13 wasn't available.

Of course not. There's no such date as 2nd Undecember.

 

[Charles Link]

(I learned a new word today on PF. It was used in another discussion. I hadn't paid close attention to the news when President Donald Trump first invented the word. I had to google it to see where it came from). $\\$ I would like a cup of "covfefe". LOL :)

 

[davenn]

The force is strong with this one

 

[Ibix]

The force is strong with this one

View attachment 213340

Hmmmm.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_sìth

 

[davenn]

Hmmmm.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_sìth

wow, I didn't even know that the word "sith" was a word outside of star wars

 

[Ibix]

wow, I didn't even know that the word "sith" was a word outside of star wars

I found out about it from a serious academic source, and was similarly surprised. I don't know if it's just chance or if Lucas was aware of the myths.

 

[davenn]

I don't know if it's just chance or if Lucas was aware of the myths.

He is a very bright guy, wouldn't surprise me if he was well aware of the myth