Collection of Lame Jokes

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jtbell said:

What an embarrassing performance it must have been as we gave up the oceans ...
 
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Near the end, one at the top of the frame is making a valiant effort.
:woot:
 
(In reference to the video of a salmon crossing a road:)
fresh_42 said:
What an embarrassing performance it must have been as we gave up the oceans ...
?
I don't know what you're saying. Assuming that you don't understand about the life cycle of anadromous fish, salmon hatch in freshwater streams, and most migrate out to the sea where they live for several years. Toward the end of their lives, they return to the exact stream where they hatched, to spawn a new generation of salmon, repeating the cycle.

In my first teaching job I was at a small high school on the Olympic Peninsula in Wash. state. The Olympic Peninsula is known for its prodigious rainfall, especially on the west and southwest sides, up to 175 inches per year. During one especially rainy period, I remember hearing one of the bus drivers remark that she way salmon swimming across the road she was driving along, just like what is shown in the video.
 
Mark44 said:
I don't know what you're saying. Assuming that you don't understand about the life cycle of anadromous fish ...
This was (funny?) remark about evolution, not about fish migrations.
 
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fresh_42 said:
This was (funny?) remark about evolution, not about fish migrations.
Quoting the late great Sir PTerry from memory:

The sergeant gave the officer a look that had been handed down from NCO to NCO since one proto-amphibian had ordered another, lower ranking, proto-amphibian to muster a squad of newts and take that beach!
 
davenn said:
After about 20 minutes, the man's Doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor confessed... "Not with a Daffodil."
Here's the same joke in Carry On Nurse (1959), followed by a cross-reference in Carry On Doctor (1968).

 
DrGreg said:
Here's the same joke in Carry On Nurse (1959), followed by a cross-reference in Carry On Doctor (1968).

haha very good :)
 
fresh_42 said:
This was (funny?) remark about evolution, not about fish migrations.
Hi @fresh_42 I just gave you a "like" to your response so I could say I gave you "like" # 3000. Congratulations! And no, this response really doesn't belong in the Lame joke section, but that was the easiest posting of yours to respond to. :) :) :)
 
Hahaha

scams on net.jpg
 
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Ibix said:
thank u please send me ur bank details and passwordz so i cn transfer the 19.95

hahaha yup, when hell freezes over :-p:biggrin:
 
davenn said:
hahaha yup, when hell freezes over :-p:biggrin:
Yeah, I don't think I've got the skills to make it as a con artist. :cry::wink:
 
Ibix said:
thank u please send me ur bank details and passwordz so i cn transfer the 19.95
davenn said:
hahaha yup, when hell freezes over

Pre-requisite met. Hand 'em over.

frozen-hell.png
 
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Why did the electron cross the road?

Because it was being attracted by the ion.

:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
 
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Ivan Samsonov said:
Why did the electron cross the road?

Because it was being attracted by the ion.
Sorry, I don't get this. What's the connection between "road" and "ion"?

Nevertheless, I asked the ion if this story was true and she said "Yes".

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive."
 
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... so the electron didn't reach it yet?

Don't trust the ion, especially not when it is neutral. Atoms make up everything.
 
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Why is space-time curved?

Because it got curved.
Very lame, right?
 
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Borg said:
I've always had trouble with statistics like that. :oldtongue:
Simple: one of the 3 was pregnant ...
 
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