Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

Probably taken care of by essential workers.

Newton? In 1600s UK?

 

[fresh_42]

... Isaac Newton invented calculus during the plague...

It's amazing how much you can get done when no one's interrupting you, and there's just a deathly silence all around.

Relax, he only wanted to improve his horoscopes.

 

[WWGD]

Relax, he only wanted to improve his horoscopes.

Pretty likely, as he was into this occult, or at least " occultish" type concerns.

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

Tough rules here:

 

[WWGD]

Tough rules here:

View attachment 302651

Sartre center parking lot?

 

[phinds]

 

[DennisN]

 

[Ibix]

That one took me a while...

Loading Artist is pretty good. Here's another one I had to think about for a couple of seconds.

 

[phinds]

 

[berkeman]

How to not introduce a subject in a nutshell.

Reminds me of a part of an early chapter in a Fourier Analysis reference that I'm studying for a new project at my work. I'm enjoying these lecture notes quite a bit, and the mix of informal professor comments with very helpful practical technical development is refreshing.

https://bookstore.ams.org/amstext-33/

Other directions combine tools from Fourier analysis with symmetries of the objects being analyzed. This might make you think of crystals and crystallography, and you’d be right, while mathematicians think of number theory and Fourier analysis on groups.

Finally, I have to mention that in the purely mathematical realm the question of convergence of Fourier series, believe it or not, led G. Cantor near the turn of the 20th century to investigate and invent the theory of infinite sets, and to distinguish different sizes of infinite
sets, all of which led to Cantor going insane.

 

[strangerep]

How to not introduce a subject in a nutshell.

As a result of this post,... (TIL) that Paul Ehrenfest's final years were even sadder.

From Wikipedia:

From the correspondence with his close friends, from May 1931, it appears that Ehrenfest suffered from severe depression. [...]

[...] on 25 September 1933, in Amsterdam, Ehrenfest fatally shot his younger son Wassik, who had Down syndrome, then killed himself.

 

[strangerep]

[...] all of which led to Cantor going insane.

It's disappointing that someone could make a joke like that (sigh).

I just read the Wikipedia entry on Georg Cantor. It sounds more like he became deeply depressed because of long interaction with other mathematicians who couldn't appreciate his (vast body of important, before-its-time) work.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

It's disappointing that someone could make a joke like that (sigh).

I just read the Wikipedia entry on Georg Cantor. It sounds more like he became deeply depressed because of long interaction with other mathematicians who couldn't appreciate his (vast body of important, before-its-time) work.

I understand much of that came from Kronecker.

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[Borg]

Was that a Word doc?

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

The strong, silent type:

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

Friendly reminder that jokes/images in this thread must follow our guidelines. Jokes/images that are offensive to groups of people will be removed. We are an inclusive and respectful community. https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/physics-forums-global-guidelines.414380/

Carry on!

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

Maybe they can use these for their driver's licenses:

 

[WWGD]

 

[strangerep]

[tennis players trying to be telekinetic...] Maybe they can use these for their driver's licenses:

Some of these could be used as "before" photos in laxative commercials. Heaven knows, I've sometimes wished I had such telekinetic power when trying to,... er,... dislodge stubborn objects.

 

[WWGD]

Some of these could be used as "before" photos in laxative commercials. Heaven knows, I've sometimes wished I had such telekinetic power when trying to,... er,... dislodge stubborn objects.

No pics, please ;).

 

[strangerep]

No pics, please ;).

No indeed. I'll save those to send to the Ukrainians for use as weapons of last resort...

 

[nsaspook]

Cryptocurrency was supposed to be the hedge against the other markets and against inflation.

 

[OCR]

I've sometimes wished I had such telekinetic power when trying to,... er,... dislodge stubborn objects.

Well then. . . here's what you need !
Lol. . .

.

 

[profbuxton]

Mr. Bernhardt, I find your comment somewhat strange, ALL jokes.images are offensive to SOME groups of people. That is the whole nature of the beast. If a joke/image doesn't offend someone somewhere its pointless posting/telling.
We would no longer need a sense of humour or comedians of any kind.
I am guessing you would find my comment offensive too , most likely. Too bad!

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 302815

An hour ago I had some sweets in my hand and on the box was printed: "Pills against Know-it-all".

 

[Cfos]

And I thought physics was the study of carbonated beverages...

 

[fresh_42]

And I thought physics was the study of carbonated beverages...

It is astonishing how many scientists become liquid vegans after dusk.

 

[strangerep]

Well then. . . here's what you need !

Well, I know a few other people who need that pineapple shoved you-know-where.

 

[strangerep]

Mr. Bernhardt, I find your comment somewhat strange, ALL jokes.images are offensive to SOME groups of people. [...]

As someone who sometimes goes too far with "colorful" jokes, I'll say that I find Greg Bernhardt's and the Mentor's judgement about where to draw the line to be usually a reasonable compromise.

 

[jack action]

 

[JT Smith]

View attachment 302867​

And then what? Do you hang around in the bathroom giggling?

 

[jack action]

And then what? Do you hang around in the bathroom giggling?

No, I use my cameras that were already installed for ... security purposes. Yeah, that's it ... security purposes!

 

[Borg]

You should also modify the dispenser to give some small fraction of a cm of paper towel per decibel. Just enough so they think they're not yelling loud enough when they only get an inch or so.

 

[Ibix]

You should also modify the dispenser to give some small fraction of a cm of paper towel per decibel.

Then all I need to do is repeat "paper towel" a lot. To the tune of Frere Jacques:

Paper towel, paper towel
Paper towel, paper towel
Pa-a-a-aper towel
Pa-a-a-aper towel
Paper towel, paper towel

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]