Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

Some of these could be used as "before" photos in laxative commercials. Heaven knows, I've sometimes wished I had such telekinetic power when trying to,... er,... dislodge stubborn objects.

No pics, please ;).

 

[strangerep]

No pics, please ;).

No indeed. I'll save those to send to the Ukrainians for use as weapons of last resort...

 

[nsaspook]

Cryptocurrency was supposed to be the hedge against the other markets and against inflation.

 

[OCR]

I've sometimes wished I had such telekinetic power when trying to,... er,... dislodge stubborn objects.

Well then. . . here's what you need !
Lol. . .

.

 

[profbuxton]

Mr. Bernhardt, I find your comment somewhat strange, ALL jokes.images are offensive to SOME groups of people. That is the whole nature of the beast. If a joke/image doesn't offend someone somewhere its pointless posting/telling.
We would no longer need a sense of humour or comedians of any kind.
I am guessing you would find my comment offensive too , most likely. Too bad!

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 302815

An hour ago I had some sweets in my hand and on the box was printed: "Pills against Know-it-all".

 

[Cfos]

And I thought physics was the study of carbonated beverages...

 

[fresh_42]

And I thought physics was the study of carbonated beverages...

It is astonishing how many scientists become liquid vegans after dusk.

 

[strangerep]

Well then. . . here's what you need !

Well, I know a few other people who need that pineapple shoved you-know-where.

 

[strangerep]

Mr. Bernhardt, I find your comment somewhat strange, ALL jokes.images are offensive to SOME groups of people. [...]

As someone who sometimes goes too far with "colorful" jokes, I'll say that I find Greg Bernhardt's and the Mentor's judgement about where to draw the line to be usually a reasonable compromise.

 

[jack action]

 

[JT Smith]

View attachment 302867​

And then what? Do you hang around in the bathroom giggling?

 

[jack action]

And then what? Do you hang around in the bathroom giggling?

No, I use my cameras that were already installed for ... security purposes. Yeah, that's it ... security purposes!

 

[Borg]

You should also modify the dispenser to give some small fraction of a cm of paper towel per decibel. Just enough so they think they're not yelling loud enough when they only get an inch or so.

 

[Ibix]

You should also modify the dispenser to give some small fraction of a cm of paper towel per decibel.

Then all I need to do is repeat "paper towel" a lot. To the tune of Frere Jacques:

Paper towel, paper towel
Paper towel, paper towel
Pa-a-a-aper towel
Pa-a-a-aper towel
Paper towel, paper towel

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 302921

Romanes eunt domus?!

 

[Borg]

View attachment 302921

Rather than listening to the ravings of the grammar police, he should just give him the bird.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

 

[David Lewis]

I've crunched the numbers in my retirement account.
It's time to figure out who'll be wearing the mask,
and who'll be driving the getaway car.

 

[DennisN]

 

[davenn]

@DennisN
love the first one, haven't seen it before

 

[DennisN]

And apparently Australia has entered the space race, @davenn and @bhobba :