Collection of Lame Jokes

[Tom.G]

First letter of unknown word seems to be an "i", or possibly lower case "L".

 

[Jonathan Scott]

The only words I can find that fit are "always lapture the stoic", which doesn't make much sense, although both "lapture" and "stoic" are font names.

 

[Mayhem]

Henri Lebesgue, ca. 1900:

"**** me sideways, this integral is unsolvable!

... now wait a minute."

 

[DaveE]

OK, it's not a one-liner; I'm not sure exactly what a "joke" is. It certainly is lame. I thought this was hilarious, YMMV of course.

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

 

[WWGD]

If it had been a simple script, you might have needed only an adder.

If it was a cow , it would be an udder thing.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[davenn]

 

[berkeman]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 360451

This happens if you free Willy.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

Freed Free Willy didn't work out too well either.

He was rather old (for a killer whale), 27, when released. He was not good at hunting or interacting with others of his species.
Probably (in my opinion), because he missed out on learning period interactions at certain times in his development.
Limited hunting skills. Limited social skills.

 

[Mayhem]

Freed Free Willy didn't work out too well either.

He was rather old (for a killer whale), 27, when released. He was not good at hunting or interacting with others of his species.
Probably (in my opinion), because he missed out on learning period interactions at certain times in his development.
Limited hunting skills. Limited social skills.

The only whale celebrity in existence and he dies at age 27. What a coincidence.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[BillTre]

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 360504

Well, my name's John Lee Pettimore
Same as my daddy and his daddy before
You hardly ever saw grandaddy down here
He only come to town about twice a year
He'd buy a hundred pounds of yeast and some copper line
Everybody knew that he made moonshine

You never come back from Copperhead Road!

 

[jack action]

I spent $300 on a limo and just found out the fee doesn't include a driver.

I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 360509

You mean, I was lucky when I didn't get it?

 

[Ibix]

You mean, I was lucky when I didn't get it?

"Nothing to show for it" means "I wasted my money". Or time or effort or whatever.

 

[fresh_42]

"Nothing to show for it" means "I wasted my money". Or time or effort or whatever.

Well, I pronounced chauffeur correctly, and it doesn't sound like "show for it". I thought @jack action would know, too.

 

[DaveE]

I pronounced chauffeur correctly

You're clearly not 'merican then. We don't do correct pronunciation.