Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #22,251
Guess Ron has a point.

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  • #22,252
w5xq9iRZYSbih8CpN&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.webp
 
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  • #22,253
fresh_42 said:
They're clearly exchanging ;).
 
  • #22,254
GKFypF_tskp3RWvur&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.webp
 
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  • #22,255
1000141165.webp
 
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  • #22,256
Blind date in the countryside: either it is a relative, or he is taken, or an ex, or all three of them.
 
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  • #22,257
Fun questions!
--------------------------------------
When is a joke funny?
What is there within everything?
What can you do to live a good life within everything?
Finally how can you have fun in life?
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When is a joke funny?
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A joke is funny if and only if:
1. When I think of it, it isn't normal
2. When I feel it it, feels good
3. I cannot experience it continually for it to remain funny
Forward proof:
Assume a joke is funny then:
1. If when I thought of it it was normal, it wouldn't surprise me. Yet a successful joke always surprises.
2. If when I felt it, it didn't feel good, it wouldn't be a joke to me.
3. No matter how funny a joke is, I cannot experience it again and again with it still being funny.
Backward proof:
Assume 1,2,3 hold true then:
1. It isn't normal. It is a surprise, new experience.
2. It feels good. Together with 1 being true, it is a positive new experience.
3. I cannot experience it continually for it to remain funny. It is a positive new experience but I can't experience it always, I can experience it from time to time...but I don't know when...isn't it a bit funny?
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What is there within everything?
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There is nothing, something, and something else.
Why? Because if there is something else we have already included it! And what if there isn’t something else? Then you are asking the following question:
Wait a second, why did you add something else in there from the beginning?
Because it is different from nothing or something, it is something else and it needs to be included in order to describe everything.
Also something is different from nothing.
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What can you do to live a good life within everything?
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You can do nothing, you can do something, and you want to live something else.
Can you do nothing all the time?
No, because then you would never do something, and we said that you can do something, so at a certain time you will do something!
Can you do something all the time?
No, because then you would never do nothing, and we said that you can do nothing, so at a certain time you will do nothing!
So sometimes you do nothing and sometimes you do something, and your emotions guide you to live something else...
Can you use only your emotions to guide you to live something else all the time? No then you would be doing nothing all the time, using only your emotions to be guided is doing nothing all the time.
Can you know how to choose between doing nothing or something all the time? No then you would be doing something all the time, having perfect judgement is doing something all the time.
And so, the difficulty to choose to live a good life within something else seems to remain stable in a fun way!
--------------------------------------

Finally how can you have fun in life?
--------------------------------------
You need patience to find out how to have fun in life.
Why? You need patience to find out why. Why again?!
Because you find this out in a funny way!
Sometimes it is more fun than what you can handle at that point in your life...
Wait a minute, something it is less fun than what I want at that point in my life...
Yes, but when you are having a good time, then it is just the right amount of fun!
And, to find those times, I am afraid it comes back to the beginning...
You need patience to find out how to have fun in life.
--------------------------------------
 
  • #22,258
Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Goedel, and Eddie Murphy walk into a bar. Werner says, "we are three, we are in a bar, its anachronistic, we must be in a joke! But how can we PROVE zis?"

Kurt replies, "but a joke is funny. This is not funny. It cannot be a joke!"

Eddie Murphy says, "of course it's funny. You're just telling it wrong."
 
  • #22,259
The lamest part is not the joke itself, but bringing forth a "blonde joke" in 2025.
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  • #22,260
I saw this car in the parking lot at the local high school. LOL

SLVHS Bumper Stickers.webp
 
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  • #22,261
S7YQzMXPhejtEbu3q&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-fra5-2.webp
 
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  • #22,263
I like the use of a well known illusion.


Screenshot 2025-07-14 at 12.11.11 PM.webp
 
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  • #22,264
Screenshot 2025-07-16 at 10.07.37 AM.webp
 
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  • #22,265
Screenshot 2025-07-16 at 10.02.51 AM.webp
 
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  • #22,266
Screenshot 2025-07-16 at 10.19.12 AM.webp
 
  • #22,267
1752700993860.webp
 
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  • #22,268
dextercioby said:
The lamest part is not the joke itself, but bringing forth a "blonde joke" in 2025.
View attachment 363263
All my Ex-Rays are in Texas-Ey.
 
  • #22,269
Screenshot_20231029_190832_Samsung Internet.webp
 
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  • #22,270
Screenshot_20230718_172045_Samsung Internet.webp
 
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  • #22,271
Screenshot_20231213_155357_Samsung Internet.webp
 
  • #22,272
dPNaRKnmbdNRlXHz7&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-fra5-2.webp
 
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  • #22,273
eJ5vogUoXfUe-WO0y&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-fra3-1.webp
 
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  • #22,274
Screenshot_20231104_131943_Samsung Internet.webp
 
  • #22,275
Screenshot_20230530_211502_Samsung Internet.webp
 
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  • #22,276
1752788481443.webp
 
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  • #22,277
Screenshot_20250717_171518_YouTube.webp
 
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  • #22,278
Screenshot_20250717_171243_YouTube.webp
 
  • #22,279
godnotmad.webp
 
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  • #22,280
Agnostic : On the atheism spectrum.
 
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  • #22,282
IMG_1278.webp


If I saw this in an elevator, it would give me the heeby-jeebies. :eek:
 
Last edited:
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  • #22,283
Screenshot_20250715_032519_YouTube.webp
 
  • #22,284
Screenshot_20240204_154231_Samsung Internet.webp
 
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  • #22,285
Heard this sentence somewhere : "Deputy heads will roll".

Although a bit political, I hope it is general and generic enough that it's not against the rules.
 
  • #22,286
Screenshot_20230902_114948_Samsung Internet.webp
 
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  • #22,287
-dWua5ZpRCC8-Rx3c&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.webp
 
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  • #22,288
IMG_1279.webp
 
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  • #22,289
WWGD said:
screenshot_20240204_154231_samsung-internet-webp.webp
People who have been filled with helium speak very highly of the experience.
 
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  • #22,290
DrGreg said:
People who have been filled with helium speak very highly of the experience.
That's a nice way to rise one's spirit.
 
  • #22,291
1752966500819.webp
 
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  • #22,292
Internet down in Scotland. No access to LAN for the McLachlan clan.
 
  • #22,293
Celtic Local Area Network?
 
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  • #22,294
WWGD said:
Internet down in Scotland. No access to LAN for the McLachlan clan.

Swamp Thing said:
Celtic Local Area Network?
Somebody, explain the joke to me.
 
  • #22,295
1752978623702.webp
 
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  • #22,296
The meme should have said "stop signs". You run a traffic light and you will probably be toast.
 
  • #22,297
symbolipoint said:
Somebody, explain the joke to me.
Mc lack LAN for the first one (mispronouncing the Scots ch as untrained people do), and CLAN/clan as in the old social organisation of the Scots for the second
 
  • #22,298
berkeman said:
The meme should have said "stop signs". You run a traffic light and you will probably be toast.
May be location dependent. In London it's a rare walk to the office when I see fewer than half a dozen cyclists running red lights.
 
  • #22,299
Ibix said:
May be location dependent. In London it's a rare walk to the office when I see fewer than half a dozen cyclists running red lights.
Yes, probably true. For me here in the US (but not in cities like San Francisco, which could be quite different), I will roll stop signs usually unless cars are queued up that I should interleave with, but I will always stop for red lights.

There was some legislation recently I think in San Francisco or similar that would allow bicyclists to run stop signs (and red lights?) as long as there were no cars coming. I'll have to go check on that now... :smile:
 
  • #22,300
Ibix said:
Mc lack LAN for the first one (mispronouncing the Scots ch as untrained people do), and CLAN/clan as in the old social organisation of the Scots for the second
Well, you take some leeway, freedoms, to glue the joke together. And drink some Wattarr afterwards.
 

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