Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #22,601
New French literary style requires you write/put " Descartes " before "Dehors".
 
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  • #22,602
Mexican and African jokes are pretty much all the same: once you heard Juan, you heard Jamal.
 
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  • #22,603
Alien tea ceremony. I wonder what they're discussing.

ALIEN_TEA_CEREMONY.webp
 
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  • #22,604
WWGD said:
Wanted to "like" it but I couldn't really find an appropriate one expressing humor as well as "WTH"?
 
  • #22,605
Don't underestimate the placebo effect:

PLACEBO.webp


---- A Multiverse

EDIT: I like the devious expression of the serf in the last picture. :P
 
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  • #22,606
jtbell said:
Today I learned that in Germany one can be criminally charged for water butt theft. This ‘murrican also learned what a water butt is!

https://www.theguardian.com/society...nd-i-fear-theyre-on-the-right-side-of-history
Butt is a handy word to have around. Multifaceted, it can be a noun, verb, adjective, anything it wants to be. It tells its best features in butt naked, the butt of the joke, cigarette butt, butt out that cigarette, butthead, butt this board to that board, goats butt their heads in a fight, not to be confused with the word 'but', which has only one 't' versus the two 't's in butt according the Chat-GPT.
Which, by the way, leads to the quandary as to why the extra 't'. If a limited resource, do we have perhaps only 200 years left before to running out and scarcity ensues. Extinction events may follow. Some species such as owl, lion and snake would be OK. Others not, and may become legends, such as the flightless bird, the dodo. For others, a substitution from 't' to a similar but different infinite supply of 'd' may save the durtle, the diger, and the durkey. Adaptation and survival into this new niche will be difficult. Non-action will lead to the urtle, the iger and the urkey, mere empty shells of their former selves unable to continue previous existence.

Which also leads to questioning of 'buttress'. Surely there are better options, saving two 't's at a time. Considering the flying buttress made famous in a movie with Sally Field, though not to confuse Sally with a buttress, but she was flying around churches, some older types of which do have this feature of wall support being wider at the bottom. In that vein, and in the vein of an evolving language, and in the vein of present day opportunity of elimination of the triggering who knows what terms of the past, the wide acceptance of the more progressive 'Kardash' is expected to gain traction.

The last point I wish to make is of a more technical nature for the DIY crowd who fuss around with stuff just because they can. A simple attachment of an air hose to the bottom of the butt ( as in the previous OP, the butt to collect rainwater ) so as to percolate air through the water is easily accomplished. This project is especially geared for the starting out young female DIY'ers, who may feel inadequate in some department. This fix up will if done correctly, will enhance self esteem and encourage you to go on to larger and more complex projects. When working and seeing it in action, others will be amazed and envious, and will give praise by addressing you with the nickname of the project as "The Bubble Butt" girl.
 
  • #22,607
Who haven't been there?

friend_zone.webp
 
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  • #22,610
1755657324689.webp
 
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  • #22,611
jtbell said:
Bjarne Stroustrup, the Dane who invented the C++ programming language, has or had a FAQ on his home page, something like this:

Q: How do you pronounce your name?

A: It can be difficult for non-Danish people. The best suggestion I have seen is to say it first a few times in Norwegian, then stuff a potato down your throat and say it again.
He's a great Dane.
 
  • #22,612
As a kid, I thought my dad was a superhero. Then I realized he's just a weird guy walking around wearing a cape.
 
  • #22,613
While driving during my current road trip, I have thought of some truly lame jokes. Unfortunately the rim of my steering wheel is too narrow to contain them, even if I had dared to take my hand off the wheel in order to do the writing. And now I've forgotten them!
 
  • #22,614
No wait, I just remembered one!

Last night I stayed in a hotel with elevators made by the Schindler company. That means I was on Schindler's lift!
 
  • #22,615
Can't remember if I already posted this one (I searched the thread but man it's getting long!)

ice_dream.webp



so you get an extra:

For those of you having troubles with the net maybe this guy can help:

fromthenet.webp
 
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  • #22,616
Also, because pictures of this type is so rare on the net and I want to be one of the first to post one:

cute_cats.webp
 
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  • #22,617
berkeman said:
I have CDO.

It's the same as OCD, except the letters are in the proper order.

As they should be.
 
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  • #22,618
1755720811913.webp
 
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  • #22,619
1755732858201.webp
 
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  • #22,620
StarTrek and HHGTTG.webp
 
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  • #22,622
jtbell said:
While driving during my current road trip, I have thought of some truly lame jokes.
I was reminded of one at my current lunch stop.

What’s a dog’s favorite root beer?

Barq’s!
 
  • #22,623
sliLmxTABbrOZOYNL&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-fra5-1.webp
 
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  • #22,624
Screenshot_20240208_141330_Samsung Internet.webp
 
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  • #22,625
Sign spotted at a pub in Manchester. @pinball1970, maybe you could figure out if this is true. I mean the sign, not the message.


2YwZzPTRdXdPLeix5&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-fra3-2.webp
 
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  • #22,626
fresh_42 said:
Sign spotted at a pub in Manchester. @pinball1970, maybe you could figure out if this is true. I mean the sign, not the message.


View attachment 364703
A little help here? I only know Liverpool because of their very strong football club (fun to watch).
 
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  • #22,627
berkeman said:
A little help here? I only know Liverpool because of their very strong football club (fun to watch).
IIRC then @pinball1970 is a United fan, so maybe it is his sign. :biggrin:
 
  • #22,628
The sign is wrong.
It is not the only place where there are pick pockets, and it is more often at the stop after you got on, that your wallet gets off, which on average, may be two stops before you do.
 
  • #22,629
Nostradamus knew I was going to make this joke (G.Gotfried, RIP).
 
  • #22,630
It had to happen. Murphy's law, maybe: An idiot punching the jukebox to "fix" the
Cadilla ac ac ac.... at the Pizza place.
 
  • #22,631
fresh_42 said:
IIRC then @pinball1970 is a United fan, so maybe it is his sign. :biggrin:
It's a Manchester -Liverpool rivalry thing. Working class Mancunians look down on Liverpool and make jokes about them not working and criminal activity in their city.
So, you are likely to have your wallet stolen, car stolen there etc.
This goes back to the canals during the industrial age, they (Scouse) charged us (Mancs) high tolls to move our cotton to the port. So much so, we had enough of them and built our own canal.
The football sits on top of that.
 
Last edited:
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  • #22,632
pinball1970 said:
It's a Manchester -Liverpool rivalry thing. Working class Mancunians look down on Liverpool and make jokes about them not working and criminal activity in their city.
I only remember when I first visited England (London) as a teenager, I saw an interview on TV of a Liverpool player, and I didn't understand a single word!
 
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  • #22,633
fresh_42 said:
I only remember when I first visited England (London) as a teenager, I saw an interview on TV of a Liverpool player, and I didn't understand a single word!
You probably think I am an English gentleman Fresh, unfortunately if you ever heard my voice, I would sound more like Liam Gallagher than a BBC news reader.
 
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  • #22,634
pinball1970 said:
You probably think I am an English gentleman Fresh, unfortunately if you ever heard my voice, I would sound more like Liam Gallagher than a BBC news reader.
Well, I only had school English at the time. Now, it's a lot better, but I still struggle a bit with Scottish (Amy MacDonald, John Higgins). Alan McManus works.
 
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  • #22,635
fresh_42 said:
Well, I only had school English at the time. Now, it's a lot better, but I still struggle a bit with Scottish (Amy MacDonald, John Higgins). Alan McManus works.
Snooker guys! Brilliant.
 
  • #22,636
pinball1970 said:
Snooker guys! Brilliant.
I've been a Ronnie fan long before it was hip to be one. I remember the times when he left the arena mid-game for unknown reasons, or when a single look at his face told you the outcome of the entire match.
 
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  • #22,637
I us
pinball1970 said:
You probably think I am an English gentleman Fresh, unfortunately if you ever heard my voice, I would sound more like Liam Gallagher than a BBC news reader.
I used to watch this TV show just to listen to the accent of the ( Scottish, I believe) narrator : Wattarr.
 
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  • #22,638
1755877036702.webp
 
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  • #22,639
Screenshot 2025-08-22 at 8.12.21 AM.webp
 
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  • #22,640
Screenshot 2025-08-22 at 8.03.24 AM.webp
 
  • #22,642
I'm confused how a funeral home can raise its prices and blame it on the cost of living!
 
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  • #22,643
1755903697243.webp
 
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  • #22,644
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife, but she figured out that I was only after my money.
 
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  • #22,645
Screenshot_20250824_105658_YouTube.webp
 
  • #22,646
Screenshot_20250824_105527_YouTube.webp
 
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  • #22,648
fresh_42 said:
"Sledding prohibited" would have been too long.
by 5 letters?
 
  • #22,649
Screenshot_20250823_191826_YouTube.webp
 
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  • #22,650
Screenshot_20250823_191612_YouTube.webp
 
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