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JamalGross
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Why did the biologist go to art class? Because they wanted to learn how to draw conclusions!
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Just created this for a friend 
Science Advisor
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Witness the power of this fully operational reviewer 2!
I find your lack of commas disturbing.
The margin size is a pathway to many abilities some find... unnatural.
I find your lack of commas disturbing.
The margin size is a pathway to many abilities some find... unnatural.
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E: In time you will call me Master.
L: You're gravely mistaken. You won't reject my paper as you did my father's.
E: Oh no, my young undergrad. You will find that it is you who are mistaken...about a great many things.
V: His bachelor diploma.
E: Ah, yes, a PhD student's prerequisite. Much like your father's. By now you must know
your father can never be turned from the current paradigm. So will it be with you.
L: You're wrong. Soon I'll be published...and you with me.
E: Perhaps you refer to the imminent review of your manuscript in Atom Indonesia. Yes...I assure you we are quite safe from your pitiful ideas.
L: Your overconfidence is your weakness.
E: Your faith in a fair review is yours.
V: It is pointless to resist, my son.
E: Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your manuscript in the review process ... is walking into a trap. As is your appeal in Acta Polonica! It was I who allowed your coauthors to know the location of the editorial office. It is quite safe from your pitiful little proof. An entire legion of my former postdocs are on the editorial board. Oh...I'm afraid the manuscript will be quite stuck in an endless review loop.
Hey, this works!
L: You're gravely mistaken. You won't reject my paper as you did my father's.
E: Oh no, my young undergrad. You will find that it is you who are mistaken...about a great many things.
V: His bachelor diploma.
E: Ah, yes, a PhD student's prerequisite. Much like your father's. By now you must know
your father can never be turned from the current paradigm. So will it be with you.
L: You're wrong. Soon I'll be published...and you with me.
E: Perhaps you refer to the imminent review of your manuscript in Atom Indonesia. Yes...I assure you we are quite safe from your pitiful ideas.
L: Your overconfidence is your weakness.
E: Your faith in a fair review is yours.
V: It is pointless to resist, my son.
E: Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your manuscript in the review process ... is walking into a trap. As is your appeal in Acta Polonica! It was I who allowed your coauthors to know the location of the editorial office. It is quite safe from your pitiful little proof. An entire legion of my former postdocs are on the editorial board. Oh...I'm afraid the manuscript will be quite stuck in an endless review loop.
Hey, this works!
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Swedish astronomer Anders Celsius died from tuberculosis in 1744 when he was 43.
His rival Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit insisted that he was really 109 and had died of old age.
His rival Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit insisted that he was really 109 and had died of old age.
sbrothy
Gold Member
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Most of which are extraordinarily juvenile, unfortunately.sbrothy said:
sbrothy
Gold Member
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Yeh. I wasn't overly impressed either. But there they were.phinds said:
Swamp Thing
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William Gladstone: But, after all, what use is it (electricity)?
Faraday: Why, Sir, in all probability, one day you will tax it!
William Gladstone (pointing to a Faraday cage): And what, pray, is the use of that contraption?
Faraday: Well, Sir, in centuries to come, men will store in it the keys to their horseless carriages, in order to prevent brigands from making off with them!
Faraday: Why, Sir, in all probability, one day you will tax it!
William Gladstone (pointing to a Faraday cage): And what, pray, is the use of that contraption?
Faraday: Well, Sir, in centuries to come, men will store in it the keys to their horseless carriages, in order to prevent brigands from making off with them!
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Mentor
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"To protect people from the electricity so they don't have to pay taxes."
Science Advisor
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This explains everything!
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It never gets old, but you have to explain the gag more and more.berkeman said:
I read a story of someone coming into an IT helpdesk with a 5.25" floppy saying it didn't work and could they take a look at it. The user then produced a ringbinder, opened it, and took out the disk which had a neat pair of holes punched in it.
Science Advisor
Education Advisor
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I remember seeing a 5-1/4 floppy stuck to the file cabinet next to the department PC with a magnet, and the yellow sticky said, "someone left this here."
The funniest thing now is "the department PC."
edit: it was mostly used to make Lotus-123 plots with the ink-pen printer. What did we call those things? "Plotters?" where the paper moved and the plotter picked up the pens, grabbing the different colors. I can still here the weird sound those things made.
The funniest thing now is "the department PC."
edit: it was mostly used to make Lotus-123 plots with the ink-pen printer. What did we call those things? "Plotters?" where the paper moved and the plotter picked up the pens, grabbing the different colors. I can still here the weird sound those things made.
Swamp Thing
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gmax137 said:
Our HP plotter had a spring loaded claw that would pick up the pen, and a sensor to detect the pen in the claw. Sometimes the pen would stick in the carousel and then the claw would go back and try again, which was kin of fun to watch. Or if some pen slots were empty, it would try again and again, slot by slot, until it found an alternate pen.
Swamp Thing
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I used a HP 9836 for more than a decade, overlapping the time when Intel/DOS PCs began to take over. The HP used to boot from a floppy disk. The very idea of a computer "crash" was alien to me as long as I was using only the HP. Floppy disks would work reliably for years in the HP, while disks from the same pack would often fail in the PC while still new.
Frabjous
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Mentor
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Not in all reference frames.
Your mass is now imaginary, however.
Your mass is now imaginary, however.
Science Advisor
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256bits
Gold Member
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Heisenberg is uncertain if the joke is funnyBystander said:
Schrödinger says maybe it is and maybe it is not funny
Einstein says it is relative to your inertial state of mind.
Swamp Thing
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Lie Algebra : Retracted math paper.
Science Advisor
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