Collection of Science Jokes P2

[DennisN]

What's an Astronormer?

An astronomer who looks at planets, moons, stars and nebulas, but refer to them as "just various celestial objects"?

 

[fresh_42]

What's an Astronormer?

Not sure. Either those you deal with
$$
R_{\mu \nu} - \frac{1}{2}g_{\mu \nu} R = \kappa T_{\mu \nu}
$$
or those who deal with

 

[davenn]

What's an Astronormer?

hahaha good catch
I didn't notice the typo

 

[mfb]

An astronormer makes the distance to all objects equal to 1.

Good for asteroid defense, bad for supernovae.

 

[256bits]

Wouldn't that be if they filmed Cheers in space.
A different actor though, not the same Norm.
He would be an Astro-Norm-er

 

[fresh_42]

What's an Astronormer?

Now the physicists definitely went too far with their renormalization mania.

 

[fresh_42]

Wouldn't that be if they filmed Cheers in space.
A different actor though, not the same Norm.
He would be an Astro-Norm-er

There are similarities:

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

A couple of more...

 

[ISamson]

I know an interesting limerick about time travel:

There was a young lady of Whight,
She traveled much faster than light.
She traveled one day,
In a relative way,
And arrived on the previous night.

(Relative way refers to relativity)

 

[DennisN]

Ok, time for limericking...

I once got a cat from Comox
he liked to play inside my socks
he wanted to run
but physics is fun
I bought him a poisonous box

 

[DrGreg]

A mathematical limerick that I've posted before (in another thread)...

$(12 + 144 + 20$
$+ 3\sqrt{4} )$

$\div 7$
$+ 5 \times 11$​

$= 9^2 + 0$​

Spoiler

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven​

Is nine squared and not a bit more.​

By Leigh Mercer

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

A: "What is the integral of 1/cabin?"

B: "log cabin."

A: "Nope, houseboat--you forgot the C."

 

[fresh_42]

"God exists because arithmetic is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it." (André Weil)

 

[fresh_42]

A student turned to John von Neumann: "Excuse me, Professor von Neumann, could you help me with this analysis problem?" Von Neumann: "Well, if it's fast, I'm very busy." Student: "I'm having trouble with this integral." Von Neumann: "Show me. ... Ah, the result is $\frac {2} {5} \pi$". Student: "I know, but I do not understand how to get it." Von Neumann: "Well, let me see again. ... The answer is $\frac {2} {5} \pi$". "Student (annoyed):" Yes, I know the answer, but I do not know how to derive it!" Von Neumann: "What do you want, I have now calculated it in two different ways!"

 

[davenn]

with all the strong solar activity at the moment, thought this would be appropriate

 

[fresh_42]

Earth.

Yes, I know, mostly harmless and its inhabitants worship small colorful printed papers.
But have you ever seen it as a cloud chamber, which is populated by lifeforms who get excited when bombarded with high energy particles?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Earth.

Yes, I know, mostly harmless and its inhabitants worship small colorful printed papers.
But have you ever seen it as a cloud chamber, which is populated by lifeforms who get excited when bombarded with high energy particles?

That's probably because it gives rise to free spectacles and ... they save "small colorful printed papers"! ...

 

[jack action]

 

[collinsmark]

[Source: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/bagels]

With mouseover, "Also, four cream cheese tubs... of destiny or whatever."

 

[Hawksteinman]

View attachment 210801​

I don't see anything wrong with those?

 

[ISamson]

View attachment 210801​

Why? I don't get it.

 

[Bandersnatch]

I don't see anything wrong with those?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Why? I don't get it.

It's from a similar slogan ...

View attachment 210812

Hawksteinman was just kidding (or at least I hope so! ...)

 

[Hawksteinman]

View attachment 210812

Thanks :D

It's 1:40 in the morning here my brain is tired LOL

Now what about the square root one [emoji23]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Now what about the square root one

Don't worry about it, it's zero.

 

[Hawksteinman]

Don't worry about it, it's zero.

Only if x=3 though?

 

[jack action]

I don't see anything wrong with those?

Why? I don't get it.

And 2 puppies just died.

 

[mfb]

Only if x=3 though?

The equations are true only for x=0.

 

[DennisN]

Maslow's hierarchy of needs (modern version)