Collection of Science Jokes P2

[DennisN]

Hooray, I am at the absolute top of the Bell curve!

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[davenn]

hahahaha

 

[davenn]

 

[Demystifier]

Theorist A: I'm dating the most beautiful girl!
Theorist B: Really?!
Theorist A: Yes. She can be fully described by a single parameter.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

The life of a graduate student is described by two sets of parameters:
From appartment to department and ... from adviser to budweiser

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

Forget the satellites and pictures allegedly taken from orbit. This is the most convincing argument ever:

 

[davenn]

Forget the satellites and pictures allegedly taken from orbit. This is the most convincing argument ever:View attachment 206766

indeed !

 

[Bandersnatch]

Well, you'd think that. But have you ever wondered why does the flat Earth rest on the backs of four elephants, and not e.g. ducks, or armadillos?
The whole point of the four elephants, you see, is so that they may catch things pushed off by cats (with their trunks, doh) and put them back in.
As you can see, the flat Earth cosmology is far more robust than a layman might judge.

 

[DrGreg]

But have you ever wondered why does the flat Earth rest on the backs of four elephants, and not e.g. ducks, or armadillos?
The whole point of the four elephants, you see, is so that they may catch things pushed off by cats (with their trunks, doh) and put them back in.

But everyone knows it's turtles all the way down! How good are turtles at catching things?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Einstein and three of his non-science friends are discussing:
Einstein: guys I discovered recently that the fastest thing in the world is light!
Friend1: I've always thought the fastest was a fast closing door ... I can never catch it.
Friend2: Gee guys no! The fastest thing ever is thought in the brain ...
Friend3: (laughing out loud) That's bs! You guys are all wrong! The fastest thing in the world is when you have the runs*! Last time it hit me I had no time at all to either think, close the door or turn on the light! ...

*diarrhea

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[collinsmark]

Today's SMBC.

I love coffee, so I love this one. Note the reference to the golden ratio. Hee hee.

[Source: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/espresso]

[Edit: On a more detailed reading, I suspect Mr. Weinersmith might have meant to express the "Phicetto" as \frac{\mathrm{espresso \ + \ milk}}{\mathrm{milk}} = \frac{\mathrm{milk}}{\mathrm{espresso}}, given its location on the line. His original expression would have been correct if it was on the other side of "Antoccino." "A" for effort though.]

 

[fresh_42]

I love coffee, so I love this one.

You know, the first liter is the most important!

I'll never understand that milk thingy. The tough ones don't drink milk. They eat the cow.

 

[davenn]

haha

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

Commencement Speeches for Mathematicians
https://mathwithbaddrawings.com/2017/06/07/commencement-speeches-for-mathematicians/

 

[davenn]

 

[jambaugh]

What is the unit of time measuring how long it takes light to travel from the heel to the toe of a particular space-faring comic book character?

 

[mfb]

Not an answer, but something I noted:

I know how long a light-saber is, but I have never seen the time unit "saber" used anywhere.

 

[rootone]

Two scientists go into a bar.
One asks for a pint of beer and the other asks for a measure of vodka.
I forget the rest.

 

[fresh_42]

Not an answer, but something I noted:

I know how long a light-saber is, but I have never seen the time unit "saber" used anywhere.

Gives me an idea: Next time someone asks how tall I am, I'll answer 6ns.

 

[DrGreg]

What is the unit of time measuring how long it takes light to travel from the heel to the toe of a particular space-faring comic book character?

A buzz-year?

 

[jambaugh]

A buzz-year?

No, a Gordon Lightfoot

(I know it's not the best joke, and probably the younger crowd won't catch the references at all.)

 

[mfb]

That is a unit of length :(.

 

[jambaugh]

A light-second (,-minute, -year) is a unit of length. A light-kilometer(,-meter, -foot) is a unit of time. The "light" is the respective multiplication or division by c to transpose the unit type.

Assuming Flash Gordon has a foot of length 0.98357105643045 US ft long then this time unit will be 1 nanosecond. And of course the speed of light is 1x10^9 Gordon Feet per second.

And I so declare ... <with the tune of "The wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald" playing in the background> ... that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Feet and thus we should adopt a new standard for US measure, The Gordon Foot and the Gordon Lightfoot!
(3 Gordon Lightfeet to a Gordon Lightyard, 1/12 a Gordon lightfoot to the Gordon light inch... but we can just call it 1/12 nanoseconds. :)And since "Gordon Lightfoot" is a bit unwieldy we can just call that 1 nanosecond unit a "Flash".
"Honey, just going for cigarettes, be back in a Giga-Flash!"