Collection of Science Jokes P2

[fresh_42]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CiEPqjKWwAAutWp.jpg

 

[Riya23]

Student: How can I calculate the volume of cat?
Engineer: put it in tank of water and measure the rise of the water level
Mathematician: we can calculate the volume integral over its full body
Physicist: let's suppose the cat is sphereical
Student_O

 

[256bits]

Every time I see one of those, I just can't wrap my head around the fact that DOS - which I was required to load every time I opened the computer - was holding on a single floppy and I had a functional computer. Now, to get my functional computer, I need Windows, that would require something like 30 000 floppies! Imagine loading that every time you open the computer!

Nah - Just one floppy would do!

 

[mfb]

Engineer: put [the cat] in tank of water and measure the rise of the water level

The typical first design iteration. It works on paper, but it doesn't work in practice.

 

[davenn]

It works on paper, but it doesn't work in practice.

yup, cats have a particular hatred towards water

 

[DrGreg]

Student: How can I calculate the volume of cat?

Sound engineer: Put a microphone next to it and look at the VU meter.

 

[davenn]

this is from a serious sci article
http://www.thespaceacademy.org/2017/11/nasa-wants-to-probe-deeper-into-uranus.html

But surely they could have worded it better hahahahaha

 

[fresh_42]

this is from a serious sci article
http://www.thespaceacademy.org/2017/11/nasa-wants-to-probe-deeper-into-uranus.html

But surely they could have worded it better hahahahaha

View attachment 214574

That's a typo. The first "A" in the organization's name must be dropped.

 

[256bits]

That's a typo. The first "A" in the organization's name must be dropped.

Or the "N"

 

[Tom.G]

Now, now, folks. Lopping off arbitrary pieces of arbitray Government Agencies is not something everybody would agree with.(hope it sneaks by the censors)

 

[256bits]

Now, now, folks. Lopping off arbitrary pieces of arbitray Government Agencies is not something everybody would agree with.(hope it sneaks by the censors)

To those splendid individuals employed at NASA, which is a fine organization in and of itself, made so through dedication, knowledge, and talent that has brought it to be at the leading frontier of science and technology. NASA rolls off the tongue easily and invokes imagination of space faring children and future astronauts. NASA is Mercury, Gemini, Apollo, Walter Cronkite, Neil Armstrong, Tang, rising at 0400 to see a live rocket launch, a bamboo bound Grade 5 book science project of all things on the moon landings. Rockets, satellites, and space stations. What inspired the likes of Julie Payette ( Governor General of Canada ) or Richard Hatfield to take the journey to travel into space and look down upon the fragile earth, and what made it possible for their dream to come true. NASA gets a "N" for such things as Nifty, Notable, and Necessary. Keep up the good work.

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 214143
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CiEPqjKWwAAutWp.jpg

 

[AlexCaledin]

Student: How can I calculate the volume of cat?
Engineer: put it in tank of water and measure the rise of the water level
Mathematician: we can calculate the volume integral over its full body
Physicist: let's suppose the cat is sphereical

Physics Teacher: divide your cat's mass by the Cat Density which must be somewhere in the end of the textbook

 

[collinsmark]

 

[DrGreg]

Don't believe anything an allegator says; it's just an allegation.

 

[BillTre]

Does a Caiman, come again?

 

[AlexCaledin]

The Duck Matter is just unobserved ducks in superposition state (we cannot observe them because they are ducking every photon, to avoid being observed dead) :

 

[davenn]

 

[mathwonk]

@Dr. Claude, and anyone who tthinks floppy discs are old school: I started out programming for a Univac Mark 1. no floppies, just punch cards. the computer filled a large room.

 

[jack action]

@Dr. Claude, and anyone who tthinks floppy discs are old school: I started out programming for a Univac Mark 1. no floppies, just punch cards. the computer filled a large room.

I wonder how many punch cards one have to load to install and run Windows 10 ...

 

[Bystander]

how many punch cards one have to load to install and run Windows 10 ...

... , plus or minus the "shovelware?"

 

[jack action]

... , plus or minus the "shovelware?"

It's Windows 10, there are no useless or low quality programs included in that OS.

 

[OCR]

It's Windows 10...

I don't know if Windows 10 has anything to do with it...

But I sure notice a speed increase with this...

I think, anyway... lol

 

[davenn]

I don't know if Windows 10 has anything to do with it...

But I sure notice a speed increase with this...

View attachment 215516
I think, anyway... lol

ha ... I have had the opposite ... with the latest update of FF it has ground to super slow a total nightmare
I uninstalled and reinstalled ... didn't fix so uninstalled and installed chrome instead

IE is still my main browser .. FF was a backup that served other purposes ... but no longer it's now ( in the words of Arnie) "Hasta la vista, baby"
Chrome is running properly and can now be my secondary browserDave

 

[mjc123]

Don't believe anything an allegator says; it's just an allegation.

I remember some years ago on TV news, somebody saying "I totally refute [sic] these allegations, and I would like to confront the alligators!"

 

[DennisN]

 

[ISamson]

View attachment 215688

View attachment 215689

View attachment 215690

View attachment 215691

I wanted to post the cat one!
I like it.

 

[DrGreg]

Did Schrödinger ever try this?

 

[fresh_42]

Did Schrödinger ever try this?

No. The cat's awkward situation dates back to 1935, whereas Murphy's Law has been introduced by John W. Campbell while he was editor of Astounding Science Fiction, which he became in 1937. Close, but no.