Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Garlic]

I found this: when a woman and a man make love, the woman gets excited. She is now metastable and decays to her normal state through "baby emission" with a mean lifetime of roughly nine months.

 

[Sophia]

If McDonald’s Advertised Like Apple

 

[fresh_42]

If Microsoft built cars:

http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/pnw/microsoftjoke.htm

 

[fresh_42]

Why don't you find topologists in a nuthouse?

Spoiler

They always escape the straightjacket.

 

[DrClaude]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=4033

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

Okay "I got one". Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding and the officer asks, do you know how fast you were going? no replies Heisenberg but I knew exactly where I was.

That's the short version of this one ...

 

[Garlic]

View attachment 96733

Can you explain this? I diddn't understand...

 

[Borg]

Can you explain this? I diddn't understand...

Schrödinger's cat

 

[Garlic]

Schrödinger's cat

I was referring to the other joke, with graphs.

 

[Borg]

I was referring to the other joke, with graphs.

Ah. I didn't click on the attachment in your reply.

 

[Mark44]

The shortest math joke: Be $ε < 0$.

Don't quit your day job...

 

[davenn]

I was referring to the other joke, with graphs.

its about the different views of the data interpretation
Dave

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[Kevin McHugh]

The universe is made up of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons!

 

[Demystifier]

Theorem: The hyperbolic partial differential equation of waves has a solution.
Proof: Let us first introduce the standard short-hand notation for the d'Alembert operator
$$\frac{1}{c^2}\frac{\partial^2}{\partial t^2}-\frac{\partial^2}{\partial x^2}-\frac{\partial^2}{\partial y^2}-\frac{\partial^2}{\partial z^2} \equiv \Box$$

 

[Demystifier]

What's an anagram of Banach-Tarski? Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski.

What does the B stand for in Benoit B. Mandelbrot? Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

 

[Demystifier]

The primary reason Bourbaki stopped writing books was the realization that Lang was one single person.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[Pepper Mint]

Oh I know this guy and love his movies. He looked great 10 years ago.

 

[DrGreg]

This isn't quite as daft as it sounds, if you replace "all his body functions" with "his heart". That's what a defibrillator does: the device that you see in medical dramas applying an electric shock across someone's chest to revive them. The shock doesn't restart a stopped heart, as is often implied by the drama; it stops a misfiring heart, and then the stopped heart automatically reboots.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

http://41.media.tumblr.com/73cf1af993e61e1d084d43a8c11d15af/tumblr_nunwnqFJUp1tpri36o1_500.jpg

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

Found this in my wallet!

It says science :D

 

[rootone]

Found this in my wallet! ...

That would certainly herald a new era of economics.

 

[DrClaude]

This doesn't make sense for a Ph.D. The original joke was "Why God never got tenure."