Collection of Science Jokes P2

[davenn]

View attachment 245852​

sad but true

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 245433

After publication I simplified a couple of my papers so they were trivial. They might not have been publishable in that form but if they were they might be in undergrad textbooks.

 

[Steelwolf]

Silly undergrads, they were wearing shirts that said:
"Just Say
N₂O
to Drugs!"

And thought it would fly in the Chem Class.

 

[Ibix]

Seen on a tshirt yesterday:$$\sqrt{-1}\ 2^3\sum\pi$$

 

[Demystifier]

And thought it would fly in the Chem Class.

I first thought that you wrote "Chern Class" and coudn't figure out how is it related to algebraic topology. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chern_class

 

[Demystifier]

View attachment 245869

Is that Mileva?

 

[Ibix]

I first thought that you wrote "Chern Class" and coudn't figure out how is it related to algebraic topology. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chern_class

Just say $\aleph_0$ to countable infinities.

 

[Ibix]

Better:

Child: I want it!
Me: No.
Child: But I want it!
Me: No.
Child: But I waaannnt it!
Me: How many times do I have to say it? $\aleph_0$.

 

[Demystifier]

Better:

Child: I want it!
Me: No.
Child: But I want it!
Me: No.
Child: But I waaannnt it!
Me: How many times do I have to say it? $\aleph_0$.

Or maybe it's not $\aleph_0$ but $\omega$. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordinal_number

 

[berkeman]

Seen on a tshirt yesterday:$$\sqrt{-1}\ 2^3\sum\pi$$

That only works for Physicists and Mathematicians. Engineers would figure you didn't know how to spell...

 

[fresh_42]

That only works for Physicists and Mathematicians. Engineers would figure you didn't know how to spell...

They would think it reads $18.84$!

$\sqrt{-1}$ is a positive root, ergo $1$.
$2^3 \approx 2\cdot 3 = 6$.
$\sum \pi \approx 3.14$

Edit: I was a bit unfair to engineers. In fact it is $2^3\approx 1+2*3$ (Bernoulli).

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

dunno how Argon got in there

 

[strangerep]

It took me a few moments to get "MHO".

 

[collinsmark]

Seen on a tshirt yesterday:$$\sqrt{-1}\ 2^3\sum\pi$$

That only works for Physicists and Mathematicians. Engineers would figure you didn't know how to spell...

'Works fine for engineers if your name is Jay.

 

[fresh_42]

Promising young physicist at primary school:
\begin{array}{|c|c|c|c|c|c|c|c|c|c|c|}
\hline \cdot & 1_1 & 2_1 & 3_1 & 4_1 &5_1&6_1&7_1&8_1&9_1&10_1 \\
\hline 1^1 &\langle 1|1 \rangle & \langle 1|2 \rangle &\langle 1|3 \rangle &\langle 1|4 \rangle &\langle 1|5 \rangle &\langle 1|6 \rangle &\langle 1|7 \rangle &\langle 1|8 \rangle &\langle 1|9 \rangle & \langle 1|10 \rangle \\
\hline 2^1 &\langle 2|1 \rangle & \langle 2|2 \rangle &\langle 2|3 \rangle &\langle 2|4 \rangle &\langle 2|5 \rangle &\langle 2|6 \rangle &\langle 2|7 \rangle &\langle 2|8 \rangle &\langle 2|9 \rangle & \langle 2|10 \rangle \\
\hline 3^1 &\langle 3|1 \rangle & \langle 3|2 \rangle &\langle 3|3 \rangle &\langle 3|4 \rangle &\langle 3|5 \rangle &\langle 3|6 \rangle &\langle 3|7 \rangle &\langle 3|8 \rangle &\langle 3|9 \rangle & \langle 3|10 \rangle \\
\hline 4^1 &\langle 4|1 \rangle & \langle 4|2 \rangle &\langle 4|3 \rangle &\langle 4|4 \rangle &\langle 4|5 \rangle &\langle 4|6 \rangle &\langle 4|7 \rangle &\langle 4|8 \rangle &\langle 4|9 \rangle & \langle 4|10 \rangle \\
\hline 5^1 &\langle 5|1 \rangle & \langle 5|2 \rangle &\langle 5|3 \rangle &\langle 5|4 \rangle &\langle 5|5 \rangle &\langle 5|6 \rangle &\langle 5|7 \rangle &\langle 5|8 \rangle &\langle 5|9 \rangle & \langle 5|10 \rangle \\
\hline 6^1 &\langle 6|1 \rangle & \langle 6|2 \rangle &\langle 6|3 \rangle &\langle 6|4 \rangle &\langle 6|5 \rangle &\langle 6|6 \rangle &\langle 6|7 \rangle &\langle 6|8 \rangle &\langle 6|9 \rangle & \langle 6|10 \rangle \\
\hline 7^1 &\langle 7|1 \rangle & \langle 7|2 \rangle &\langle 7|3 \rangle &\langle 7|4 \rangle &\langle 7|5 \rangle &\langle 7|6 \rangle &\langle 7|7 \rangle &\langle 7|8 \rangle &\langle 7|9 \rangle & \langle 7|10 \rangle \\
\hline 8^1 &\langle 8|1 \rangle & \langle 8|2 \rangle &\langle 8|3 \rangle &\langle 8|4 \rangle &\langle 8|5 \rangle &\langle 8|6 \rangle &\langle 8|7 \rangle &\langle 8|8 \rangle &\langle 8|9 \rangle & \langle 8|10 \rangle \\
\hline 9^1 &\langle 9|1 \rangle & \langle 9|2 \rangle &\langle 9|3 \rangle &\langle 9|4 \rangle &\langle 9|5 \rangle &\langle 9|6 \rangle &\langle 9|7 \rangle &\langle 9|8 \rangle &\langle 9|9 \rangle & \langle 9|10 \rangle \\
\hline 10^1 &\langle 10|1 \rangle & \langle 10|2 \rangle &\langle 10|3 \rangle &\langle 10|4 \rangle &\langle 10|5 \rangle &\langle 10|6 \rangle &\langle 10|7 \rangle &\langle 10|8 \rangle &\langle 10|9 \rangle & \langle 10|10 \rangle \\
\hline
\end{array}

 

[Steelwolf]

As long as mathematicians remember their table manners, all goes well.

 

[DennisN]

The Flat Earth concept is like a gift that keeps on giving...

 

[Steelwolf]

He was just lucky it was Flat Mars in the orbit at that time, Flat Venus would be right out!

Then again, isn't there something almost like that with the Venus Flat Trap?

 

[mfb]

These jokes are getting really flat.

 

[Steelwolf]

Well, people HAVE been complaining about planes falling out of the sky, so there might be something to it...other than the delivery.

 

[DennisN]

"Galileo, you'll have to simplify the experiment."

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Steelwolf]

Schroedinger...Isn't he the guy what invented Cat Boxing? That's just mean, making cats fight like that: standing upright, paws sheathed and no ear-biting allowed...just plain un-natural.

 

[Ibix]

The problem with cat boxing is that both cats are always KO'd and not KO'd at the same time.

 

[Steelwolf]

In the Biology Department: Do you know how to cut off a cat's tail?

Take away his wheels!

 

[Steelwolf]

The problem with cat boxing is that both cats are always KO'd and not KO'd at the same time.

Yeah, Refereeing such a fight would be hard: do you ring the bell, or Not ring the bell. (I guess that might possibly depend on whether Pavlov had been working in the building or not)

Edit: And are they actually KO'ed or did they just curl up for mutual naps?

 

[DennisN]

Yeah, Refereeing such a fight would be hard: do you ring the bell, or Not ring the bell. (I guess that might possibly depend on whether Pavlov had been working in the building or not)

Very many people know about Pavlov's dogs and Schrödinger's cat.
But few people know about the infamous Pavlov-Schrödinger Dog & Cat experiment (PSDC):

1. First you condition a dog to eat cats when you ring a bell (yeah, I know it's cruel, but it's for science).
2. Then you take a radioactive substance, a bell device, a dog and a cat and put them in a box.
3. When one atom in the radioactive substance decays, the bell device gets activated and rings the bell.

We don't know when the decay will happen and we won't know what happens until we open the box.
Now the question is: are both the dog (hungry/fed) and cat (alive/dead) in superposition?

It's a little combination of psychology and physics .

 

[Steelwolf]

What if you open the box and the dog is dead but there are TWO cats? Try Boxing day all over, or what?

Of course, with the one experiment you Do have to be careful that the 'feed cats' are far enough from the sound of the bell that they are not habituated to hearing the bell and then dying screams shrieks yells and general cussing that happens in a cat-dog confrontation, (no matter which of em is dying), lest the cats hear the bell and are prepared for the worst, or ready to run. Of course, some try to nap and are just eaten, but hey that is science for ya!

 

[Steelwolf]

Here was a 3 week run, the short blades the blade themselves are 18 inches long, fer scale

 

[Steelwolf]

Whoops, Wrong Forum...sigh oh well, this is what I used to do fer a living before the neck rebuild, back then I was edgy and quick to point out both sides, was frequently to the point and most people could not handle my forte' for there is no guard while I pommel one time and time again with sword puns. Of course, Some swords had a little wiggle room, but most were straight, to the point and deadly real.

 

[mfb]

a|dog hungy>|cat alive> + b|dog fed>|cat dead> + c|dog dead>|cat alive> where a,b,c are complex coefficients and |a|²+|b|²+|c|²=1

 

[Steelwolf]

So the answer for one cat into one dog equals one turd?

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

Schroedinger...Isn't he the guy what invented Cat Boxing? That's just mean, making cats fight like that: standing upright, paws sheathed and no ear-biting allowed...just plain un-natural.

what, like this ? …..

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

​

 

[Steelwolf]

Yes Davenn, that is a great picture of kittens practicing Cat Boxing, note, they do not have the 16 gram gloves!

 

[davenn]

in memory of that awesome day 50 years ago today 20 July 1969



http://www.sydneystormcity.com/safe_image.gif[edit ... it's an animated gif, I had to upload to my www site and link to it as it was too big to upload here]

 

[jack action]

in memory of that awesome day 50 years ago today 20 July 1969

We are now Friday, July 19, 2019 23:35 UTC and the landing was on July 20, 1969, at 20:17 UTC.

You may be sipping your morning coffee in Australia, but I'm not even ready to go for bed, as it is July 19 19:35 here!

 

[davenn]

You may be sipping your morning coffee in Australia, but I'm not even ready to go for bed, as it is July 19 19:35 here!

almost lunchtime sat 20th here

 

[mfb]

We are now Friday, July 19, 2019 23:35 UTC and the landing was on July 20, 1969, at 20:17 UTC.

Apollo in real time (+50 years)

 

[Bandersnatch]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 247000

Reminds me a bit of
https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/page-111#post-5384819

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 247000

I've seen a similar proof that horses have an infinite number of legs:

Horses have two legs at the back and forelegs at the front, making six legs in total. That is an odd number of legs for a horse, but is an even number. The only number which is both odd and even is infinity, so horses have an infinite number of legs.

Similarly, Julius Caesar had an infinite number of arms. He was forewarned of the Ides of March. Forewarned is forearmed, and four arms is an odd number of arms for a man. The proof proceeds as above.

 

[nuuskur]

The word play :D "odd" number of legs has multiple meanings :D