Collection of Science Jokes P2

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

They turn out to be an orchestra. If you hadn't guessed.

 

[DennisN]

If you consider buying a decent telescope, the only black hole you will find is the new one in your wallet.

Edit: (I found a picture on the topic)

 

[jack action]

I love it when human behavior can be expressed mathematically:

 

[nuuskur]

..so that he will be increasing the dosage? (if we forget about the intended derivative joke)

 

[strangerep]

I love it when human behavior can be expressed mathematically [...]

Shouldn't there be an integral sign? I.e. $\int\!e^x$

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

I have many chemistry puns,
but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction

 

[fresh_42]

I have many chemistry puns,
but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction.

On the internet you need a -a-lyst.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

Dewey decimal? Do we ever!

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[Demystifier]

The Great Unification Theory that unifies physics with electric engineering:
$$i=j$$

 

[Demystifier]

Application of the Great Unification Theory above to quantum mechanics. The probability current in quantum mechanics for a particle moving in one dimension is
$$j=\frac{\hbar}{2mi} \left( \psi^*\frac{\partial\psi}{\partial x}-\psi\frac{\partial\psi^*}{\partial x} \right)$$
Using the unification formula above, the current can be written in the electric engineering form
$$i=\frac{\hbar}{2mj} \left( \psi^*\frac{\partial\psi}{\partial x}-\psi\frac{\partial\psi^*}{\partial x} \right)$$

 

[mfb]

Write it as $$i=\frac{\hbar}{2mi} \left( \psi^*\frac{\partial\psi}{\partial x}-\psi\frac{\partial\psi^*}{\partial x} \right)$$ and simplify: $$-1=\frac{\hbar}{2m} \left( \psi^*\frac{\partial\psi}{\partial x}-\psi\frac{\partial\psi^*}{\partial x} \right)$$

 

[Demystifier]

$$-1=\frac{\hbar}{2m} \left( \psi^*\frac{\partial\psi}{\partial x}-\psi\frac{\partial\psi^*}{\partial x} \right)$$

The left-hand side is real and the right-hand side is imaginary, which is only possible if both sides are zero. Hence the wave function is real (which is compatible with the PBR theorem) and $-1=0$ (which makes sense because one cannot have less than zero particles).

 

[fresh_42]

The Great Unification Theory that unifies physics with electric engineering:
$$i=j$$

Typical pop science chasing for headlines! I have made the effort and had a look in the original paper which this article relies on. And there it is said $i=\mathbf{\hat{j}}$.

 

[mfb]

Look at Mr. Fancy Hat here.

 

[DrGreg]

And there it is said $i=\mathbf{\hat{j}}$.

I think that implies $1 = 3$?

 

[chasrob]

How do you tell the difference between a teacher and a chemist?
Ask them to pronounce unionized.​

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Bandersnatch]

The really overweight black holes do order other kinds of food. But they take it home and when nobody's looking turn it into spaghetti anyway.

 

[mfb]

The really overweight black holes do order other kinds of food. But they take it home and when nobody's looking turn it into spaghetti anyway.

They do it at a place where no one can look anyway.
Smaller, less experienced black holes do it in places you can see.

 

[Bandersnatch]

They are indeed nasty, warped black holes, with a singular culinary purpose. Luckily one can recognise them in the crowd by their baldness.

 

[phinds]

Engineer, guy who didn't believe in Nostradamus, Ancient Aliens, the paranormal, and so forth, was give a book on prognostication. He figured it would be BS but he said it was amazing ... after skimming just the first 3 pages he was able to make an ironclad 100% guaranteed prognostication, which was:

I'm not going to finish this book.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 244073

indeed, it's ...

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

My favourite element is Helium. I always speak highly of it.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 244154​

I kind of want to work out where that pub is...

 

[DrGreg]

My favourite element is Helium. I always speak highly of it.

That's very noble of you.

 

[mfb]

He is everywhere!
Even in my signature.

 

[davenn]

one for my fellow astronomers

 

[Ibix]

My favourite element is Helium. ^{I always speak highly of it.}

Fixed that for me.

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

I don't believe the cat wrote that. They have trouble with algebra because they always call all the unknowns $\mu$.

 

[Demystifier]

 

[Demystifier]

Newton, Einstein and Hawking walk into the bar. The bartender says - Is it a joke?

 

[davenn]

​

 

[Ibix]

But do they transform themselves to stay current?

...actually, it would seem not:
https://www.rockhall.com/sites/default/files/styles/header_image_portrait/public/acdchero_web.jpg?itok=9mel4cOs
Now

 

[mfb]

Looks like a transformation to me. Not enough to avoid hair losses, however.

 

[fresh_42]