Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Hamiltonian]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 303447

@PeterDonis

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 303505

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

Spoiler

A: To get to the same side.

 

[fresh_42]

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

Spoiler

A: To get to the same side.

Q: Why did the next chicken cut the Möbius strip in half (along the equator)?

Spoiler

A: To get another side.

 

[Borg]

Why am I hungry?
Because I'm thinking about Chicken McMobius Strips.

 

[BillTre]

Why am I hungry?
Because I'm thinking about Chicken McMobius Strips.

Would they have no inside or outside like a Klein bottle?
Where would the dip go?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[Jodo]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Orodruin]

https://abstrusegoose.com/156

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 304132

Presumably they submitted their script to a journal in Animal behaviour for ratification?

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 304132

”Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein”
- Nietzsche

Spoiler

"And if you gaze into an abyss for a long time, the abyss also gazes into you"

[Google translation added by a Mentor who can only count to ten in German]

 

[fresh_42]

”Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein”
- Nietzsche

That's my usual feeling in the primate section of a zoo: Who is watching whom?

I once praised Natalie for her baby. You know, what people say about newborns. Apparently, I went too far and Natalie got the impression that I wanted to have her baby, so she spat at me. Bonobos sind auch nur Menschen.

 

[Jodo]

Is There a Santa Claus? An Engineer's Perspective​

Author’s note: All numerical values, calculations and estimates are, of course, indubitably accurate.The first and foremost thing to take into account to properly begin the proof is the number of children Santa Claus must visit each Christmas. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) and other non-Christian religions, this reduces his customer base by 85%, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, presuming there is at least one good child in each, that comes to 108 million homes.Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the Earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 household visits per second.This is to say that for each house, Santa has a bit more than 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and arrive at the next house.Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the Earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles between households – a total trip of 75.5 million miles (not counting bathroom stops or breaks). This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, or 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run 15 miles an hour at best.The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element to our calculations. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a two pound Lego set (medium sized), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons (not counting Santa himself, who is, by reputation, rather plump). On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that a “flying” reindeer could pull ten times this amount, the job couldn’t be done with eight or even nine of them: Santa would need 360,000 reindeer. This increases the payload, not counting the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the Earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would each absorb 14.3 quintillion (14,300,000,000,000,000,000) joules of energy per second. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. This would be right about the same time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.Not that that matters, though, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,500 g’s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.Therefore: If Santa ever did exist, he’s dead now.

 

[Baluncore]

Therefore: If Santa ever did exist, he’s a franchise now.

 

[BillTre]

 

[DrGreg]

It must be possible, I saw Mr Spock do it!

Spoiler: I don't get it

For the benefit of our younger readers: "Spock's Brain"

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 304758

Developed for the Hubble. These NASA guys are something else.

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 304230

It has taken me till now to get that. I thought it was from 'Stranger things' or similar!

 

[gmax137]

View attachment 304758

I have one like this, but sized BS on one end and Whitworth on the other.

 

[Ibix]

I have one like this, but sized BS on one end

Not the only thing that's BS about this, I suspect...

 

[BillTre]

AlphaFold has released the structure of almost all the the known (from sequence) proteins (about 200 million different proteins), AKA the protein universe.

Here is an AlphaFold deep field view:

No gravitational lensing found yet.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[David Lewis]

It's about conventions. As $n$ is an integer, $z$ a complex number, $p$ a prime, $i,j,k$ indices or $A_{ji}$ a transposed matrix so is $ε$ in calculus the byword of something arbitrary small, but positive. Uncounted definitions and proofs about convergence, differentiation or continuity start with an $ε > 0$.

OK. You had to be there.

 

[pinball1970]

OK. You had to be there.

Yes, I am thinking of starting a thread called, 'this is what happens when a mathematician gets hold of *insert thing here.*

 

[BillTre]