Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Bandersnatch]

Reading about Killing vectors is like reading a synopsis to a noir murder mystery. There is a killer on the loose, who calls himself Vector. His modus operandi is to transport the bodies of his victims away from the site of the murder while preserving the isometry of the scene. He's been interrogated by the police many times, but always gets away with derivative lies. The detective investigating the killings is called Riemann. He's having an affair with a femme fatale played by Christina Ricci, whose curves cause tension. They have a meeting space at the flat of Riemann's mate Minkowski.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Arjan82]

Reading about Killing vectors is like reading a synopsis to a noir murder mystery. There is a killer on the loose, who calls himself Vector. His modus operandi is to transport the bodies of his victims away from the site of the murder while preserving the isometry of the scene. He's been interrogated by the police many times, but always gets away with derivative lies. The detective investigating the killings is called Riemann. He's having an affair with a femme fatale played by Christina Ricci, whose curves cause tension. They have a meeting space at the flat of Riemann's mate Minkowski.

This mister Killing has also got fields named after him. But Killing fields are quite something else... (not really a joke...)

 

[sysprog]

This mister Killing has also got fields named after him. But Killing fields are quite something else... (not really a joke...)

Yeah, at first glance, I thought I'd be reading a Killing joke $-$ if not a play on the name/word meaning, perhaps, e.g., one playing on a pseudo-Riemannian vector element shown to be infinitesimally contributory to a real Riemannian manifold.

 

[Borg]

 

[jack action]

The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.

 

[MikeeMiracle]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

View attachment 292898

This reminded me of my physics teacher in school nine years back. He used to crack many jokes while teaching, and this was one of them. Thanks for bringing back some memories!

 

[fresh_42]

Officer: "I smell alcohol. Are you drunk?"
Physicist: "Not yet."
Officer: "What do you mean by not yet?"
Physicist: "As long as you don't measure me, I will promise not to collapse! Can I go now?"

 

[sysprog]

Officer: "I smell alcohol. Are you drunk?"
Physicist: "Not yet."
Officer: "What do you mean by not yet?"
Physicist: "As long as you don't measure me, I will promise not to collapse! Can I go now?"

Chemist: "But Officer, ethanol is odorless".
Officer: "Get out of the car".
Chemist: (groans) . . .

 

[mfb]

Officer: "I smell alcohol.

The officer already made a measurement.

 

[fresh_42]

The officer already made a measurement.

Touché.

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Melbourne Guy]

How about that. I just found out Einstein was a real person. Up until now, I'd thought he was a theoretical physicist!

 

[Keith_McClary]

https://dilbert.com/strip/2021-12-07

 

[Keith_McClary]

Via @ohwilleke blog.

 

[Hamiltonian]

 

[Borg]

 

[Borg]

 

[Bandersnatch]

 

[mfb]

That happens when you replace factorials by the Gamma function and use it outside of the integers.

Gamma(3/2) = sqrt(pi)/2.

 

[jack action]

 

[Bandersnatch]

View attachment 294284​

Cards for cosmologists:

and astronomers:

 

[DrClaude]

I love Zach Weinersmith
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/science-2

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

"To every complex problem, there is a simple, and easily understandable, but wrong solution."

 

[Ibix]

A friend used to comment (usually when we'd screwed up a homework sheet) that there is no problem so complex that it cannot, when looked at in the right way, become yet more complex.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]