Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Ibix]

Try holding your device perpendicular to you.

Selfie taken while I tried this:

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Selfie taken why I tried this:
View attachment 227834

While [or better after] you tried that you mean.
OK, Now rotate twice and take square root of that! ...
You see it now? ...

 

[Ibix]

While [or better after] you tried that you mean.

It was indeed meant to say "while I tried that". Thanks - corrected. My eyes must still have been spinning...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

It was indeed meant to say "while I tried that". Thanks - corrected. My eyes must still have been spinning...

So is my brain! Wait? What?

 

[Psinter]

Parenting?

 

[davenn]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Parenting?

View attachment 228033

a) Good luck in solving differential equations that way! ...

b) Since math is math ... there you go dad, do this double integral! ...

 

[fresh_42]

The Alfréd Rényi conjecture (not Pál Erdös) has finally been proven!

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2018-07-scent-coffee-boost-math.html

 

[hsdrop]

Source
View attachment 189522

Genius, whoever made this.

Spoiler: Mistranslation

It is stated in the source that the original is in Danish, and that there was a mistranslation. It's octopus, not squid. Still, I laughed when they pointed it out in the comments.

you know i just can't shake the feeling that I'm the cat every time

 

[fresh_42]

The lunar eclipse this month in Central Europe:

 

[davenn]

The lunar eclipse this month in Central Europe:

View attachment 228626

I have seen this style of photo a few times over the last year or so
It's a dig at the FE Soc. clowns ... but there is a major problem with it, as it depicts the colours incorrectly
a flat Earth disk side on is only going to show the eclipse colour in an area across the moon, not over the whole moon

It should be akin to something like this ( excuse my poor quick paintbrush edit, I don't have Photoshop on work PC) ...

Tongue firmly in cheek

Dave

 

[mfb]

The illumination through the atmosphere is much dimmer than the direct illumination. It would be a black band if the Moon is just at the horizon. For other positions of the Moon it would look different. Which brings up the interesting question how that is possible (on a flat Earth) as different observers see the Moon at different places in the sky at the same time. Well, basic geometry was never their strength.

 

[Ibix]

My school physics teacher (an amateur astronomer, in fact) was a member of the Flat Earth Society under the pseudonym Quentin Cumbére. He thought it was funny that (back in the days of paper-based record keeping) there was some Flat Earth Society member somewhere typing out address labels to Mr Q. Cumbére.

I think that qualifies as lame.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Well, basic geometry was never their strength

Neither is logic

 

[fresh_42]

I have seen this style of photo a few times over the last year or so
It's a dig at the FE Soc. clowns ... but there is a major problem with it, as it depicts the colours incorrectly
a flat Earth disk side on is only going to show the eclipse colour in an area across the moon, not over the whole moon

It should be akin to something like this ( excuse my poor quick paintbrush edit, I don't have Photoshop on work PC) ...

View attachment 228639Tongue firmly in cheek

Dave

I know, but I found the obvious contradiction in colors is a kind of second twist of the joke, as it contradicts what it's primarily telling.

 

[BillTre]

The truth is out:

 

[DennisN]

When life gives you lemons, stick nails and pennies into them and make batteries.

 

[DennisN]

Battery jokes:

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Battery jokes:
View attachment 229019View attachment 229020

View attachment 229021

1. #2 has been posted before ...
2. You know, the bad thing about all batteries, no matter whether they are rechargable or not, is the fact that they are dischargable! ...

 

[mfb]

A battery that you can't discharge would be useless. Or illegal.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

A battery that you can't discharge would be useless. Or illegal.

Law talk on the theme! ... It's always funny!
But at least those batteries they can charge and not discharge! ... or a lawyer (or D.A.) can get disbarred over this (ħ → h), or "crucified" (L^†).

 

[fresh_42]

A battery that you can't discharge would be useless.

Quite the opposite. However, the rules forbid me to discuss a constant potential within a circuit.

 

[Psinter]

That segmentation fault at the end . Classic C. Favorited.

 

[dextercioby]

e^x is walking down the road one day when he meets several other functions coming the other way.
One of them, x^2, cries "Run for your life! A differential is coming! He's already eliminated some constants!" as he runs past.
"Hah!" exclaimed e^x, "I'm not afraid of any differential; I'm e^x, and he can't affect me."
So he walked on a little further, and, sure enough, spied a differential coming towards him. He approached boldly and declared, "Hi, I'm e^x"
"Hello," answered the differential, grinning broadly, "I'm d/dy"

 

[mfb]

Plot twist: x=y.

 

[collinsmark]

That reminds me of this*:

Source: https://abstrusegoose.com/26

*(I'm pretty sure I've posted this before in this thread some years ago, but I think it's funny enough for a repeat.)

 

[nuuskur]

e^x is walking down the road ..

Is the joke that $e^x$ is regarded as a constant w.r.t $y$? So $e^x$ gets eliminated?

 

[DrClaude]

Is the joke that $e^x$ is regarded as a constant w.r.t $y$? So $e^x$ gets eliminated?

Yes.

 

[256bits]

And the cosh(y) sinh(y) twins meet him head on.

 

[Demystifier]

 

[fresh_42]

I was going to write a joke about time travel. Unfortunately, you didn't like it.

 

[DrGreg]

I was going to write a joke about time travel. Unfortunately, you didn't like it.

I've heard it before, in 2019.

 

[Ibix]

I've heard it before, in 2019.

Will it be this one?

The barman says "Get out! We respect causality in this establishment!"

A tachyon walks into the bar.

 

[mfb]

What do we want?
- Time travel!
When do we want it?
- It doesn't matter!

 

[collinsmark]

Today's SMBC:

[Source: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2d]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I've heard it before, in 2019.

You've said that before, in 2029!

Someone has got to buy a lottery ticket or stocks in the market ...

 

[chasrob]

Two chemists walked into a bar. The first one ordered, "A glass of H₂0". The second one said, "I'll have an H₂0, too."
The second chemist died.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Two chemists walked into a bar. The first one ordered, "A glass of H₂0". The second one said, "I'll have an H₂0, too."
The second chemist died.

H₂O₂ ... yami! ...

 

[kith]

If great scientists had logos...

(source, creator and some more)

 

[Stavros Kiri]

If great scientists had logos...

View attachment 230483
(source, creator and some more)

My favourite, lol, [matrix] element ij=33 on the table above ...

Also noticed no Scrödinger !? ... Can we make up one, e.g. with ψ or something?

 

[Ibix]

My favourite, lol, [matrix] element ij=33 on the table above ...

Leibniz? That one is the only one I didn't like - an integral with no d just looks wrong.

Also noticed no Scrödinger !? ... Can we make up one, e.g. with ψ or something?

Can't think of one (something with cats?).

 

[fresh_42]

Can't think of one (something with cats?).

I have a very subtle one:

or

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I have a very subtle one:

View attachment 230512

Is there a cat somewhere?

 

[fresh_42]

Is there a cat somewhere?

Nope. I said subtle. And Planck is missing, too.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Nope. I said subtle. And Planck is missing, too.

Probability waves? ...
Yeah, Planck too

 

[Ibix]

Nope. I said subtle.

The second one is better - although I think you should have put the half dots back.

And Planck is missing, too.

Planck law graph for the n?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Probability waves? ...

Or single dots for derivatives?! ...

 

[kith]

Stretching the style a bit:

 

[fresh_42]

Planck law graph for the n?

Good idea!

 

[jack action]