Collection of Science Jokes P2

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on Phys.org
@BillTre this bookmarklet wipes the current site's cookies out of your browser (you can save it as a bookmark -- to use it you'll have to change the 'jjavascript' back to 'javascript' -- I put the extra j into get around it being flagged as possibly harmful -- it isn't harmful but it does destroy cookies):
Code:
jjavascript:(function(){C=document.cookie.split("; ");for(d="."+location.host;d;d=(""+d).substr(1).match(/\..*$/))for(sl=0;sl<2;++sl)for(p="/"+location.pathname;p;p=p.substring(0,p.lastIndexOf('/')))for(i in C)if(c=C[i]){document.cookie=c+"; domain="+d.slice(sl)+"; path="+p.slice(1)+"/"+"; expires="+new Date((new Date).getTime()-1e11).toGMTString()}})()
 
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We all laughed in psychology class at how dumb Pavlov's dog was.
Then the bell rang and we all went to lunch.
 
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mfb said:
Dihydrogen monoxide is the main component of acid rain and accidental inhalation causes many deaths, and yet it's completely unregulated. Companies add it to food everywhere with no oversight.
http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html
How cares about acid rain anymore? More importantly, dihydrogen monoxide was found in all those who got covid-19! :wink:
 
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From Romesh Ranganathan: I'm very sorry to be leaving my post as maths teacher. I'm not sure why I was fired. I've always felt I was giving 110% effort.
 
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Ibix said:
From Romesh Ranganathan: I'm very sorry to be leaving my post as maths teacher. I'm not sure why I was fired. I've always felt I was giving 110% effort.

Maybe, it also had something to do with this... 😁

 
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etotheipi said:
Maybe, it also had something to do with this... 😁


OMG, that killed me!
 
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OK, so I'm not going through the whole thread to see if these have been posted yet, but these are my absolute favorites

THE AI KOANS (Basic familiarity with Rinzai Zen buddhism and AI research at MIT recommended but not required)

Some AI Koans

These are some of the funniest examples of a genre of jokes told at the MIT AI Lab about various noted hackers. The original koans were composed by Danny Hillis, who would later found Connection Machines, Inc. In reading these, it is at least useful to know that Minsky, Sussman, and Drescher are AI researchers of note, that Tom Knight was one of the Lisp machine's principal designers, and that David Moon wrote much of Lisp Machine Lisp.

Tom Knight and the Lisp Machine

A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on.

Knight, seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: “You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong.”

Knight turned the machine off and on.

The machine worked.

Moon instructs a student
One day a student came to Moon and said: “I understand how to make a better garbage collector. We must keep a reference count of the pointers to each cons.”

Moon patiently told the student the following story:

“One day a student came to Moon and said: ‘I understand how to make a better garbage collector...

[Ed. note: Pure reference-count garbage collectors have problems with circular structures that point to themselves.]

Sussman attains enlightenment
In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.

“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky.

“I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied.

“Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky.

“I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.

Minsky then shut his eyes.

“Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.

“So that the room will be empty.”

At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

Drescher and the toaster
A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating his morning meal.

“I would like to give you this personality test”, said the outsider, “because I want you to be happy.”

Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the toaster, saying: “I wish the toaster to be happy, too.”

[from The Jargon File]
 
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Pluto.jpg
 
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